s/o: You got me excited to skip the birthday party

[misskira]

We asked for books for ds2's first birthday. Family insisted he have a party, so I told a few understanding family members to spread the word that he needed books. It worked! Everyone liked book shopping and more books is always good. I even let people know we are thrilled with used books. we dont do big parties either, so this was a compromise.

[Hungry Caterpillar]

We have family friends who do "Christmas is for presents. Birthdays are for trips." I have been considering this.

[jen_batten]

We don't do parties either. As far as friends/family....it will be roughest the first year. The second is still kind of rough--but after that you're homefree!! If you and DH decide that's what you want to do then just stick to your reasons and repeat them calmly and often to any who try to persaude you. Eventually they'll realize that they won't change your mind. One other thing we did that helped was ask each side of our parents what was the MOST important holiday/event/occasion that they would like to attend with their grandchild each year. They could not pick birthdays, because that was not an option. They told us which was the most important to them, and we make sure to make that happen. But the rest is our family, our choice.

[Hungry Caterpillar]

Originally Posted by misskira We asked for books for ds2's first birthday. Family insisted he have a party, so I told a few understanding family members to spread the word that he needed books. It worked! Everyone liked book shopping and more books is always good. I even let people know we are thrilled with used books. we dont do big parties either, so this was a compromise.

I went to a party once at the library where we all brought two books to donate, listened to story hour and then did cupcakes outside. It was fun!!

[Palooka]

Originally Posted by Hungry Caterpillar We have family friends who do "Christmas is for presents. Birthdays are for trips." I have been considering this.

Yup this is what I wanted to do, but at 1 trips aren't much fun for him yet. Bummer.

But I've decided I won't do a party unless it's 100% on our terms. And funny enough we may have stumbled upon cool loft + beer + music + balloons... we'll see.

[lizgrace07]

We've kind of phased out bday parties. I think we've settled into a tradition that fits us well. Here's what we do: On your bday you are king/queen for the day. We spend the day just as a family (me, dh, the three kiddos). The bday person gets to pick the food and activites for the day and rest/relax as much as they want. We just have a fun special day together. After dinner we have cake and open a couple of gifts. Nice, simple, and lots of fun for the bday person (and everyone else too, usually). For my 4yo's bday we went to the candy store and to his favorite restaurant for lunch. For the 2yo we went to an indoor pool because he loves to swim. For me we do something like go shopping. You get the idea .

[Sarahknavy]

I just wanted to say...


My husband was deployed for my sons first birthday. I was living with family. They insisted on a party so I said, ok sure, throw one and tell me when to show up.

As for your desire to keep it small... I would say out it on hold for one year then next year be firm about how you want your family to function,

[nonipie]

Originally Posted by Brooke789 No parties here. We didn't take any opinions. Now we do celebrate, but it is just the four of us having cake, presents, pics, etc. We do send an 'announcement' after each birthday with pics to the family.

This exactly. Have not done it for either child and don't intend to for the third. A party for a one year old is not for the child. They don't care, won't remember it, don't care about the presents and are usually exhausted by them. So since neither DH nor I cared at all about that stuff we skipped them. No one has been scarred. We did have cupcakes after dinner and take some pictures. Grandparents sent presents but we did not buy any. I just don't understand the point and didn't ask anyone's opinion.

[RainandRedemption]

We like doing birthday parties. It's important to me to spend special time with my kids on their birthdays, so I understand it;s important to others in the family too. I know I'd be bummed out if I could see my neices or nephews for their birthdays, in a setting that was meant for celebrating their birthdays. It's more than a tradition to me.

For those in the family that feel it's important, I'd at least plan a time to meet everyone somewhere, whether thats Chickfila for lunch, or monkey joes on the weekend, or heck just the park. I would give everyone a chance to see him for his bday

[megenic]

We only do big birthday parties for older kids, like 3 and over because the child actually has friends then and an give input into themes and activities. For the first and second birthdays it's just been our immediate family and my parents. But I adore big birthday parties so I am very happy that they are getting older and I get to plan super fun days for them :-)