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Old 11-19-2012, 05:17 PM   #1
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Are we stuck in the 1950's???

So, I was doing some Pinteresting and came across this gem: http://www.thedatingdivas.com/kiirsten/after-the-baby/

Seriously? It sounds like something from the 1950's. It honestly reminded me of this: http://j-walk.com/other/goodwife/index.htm

Is it too much to ask of a woman that she focus on healing and caring for a newborn? Now I have to try to keep my sulky husband entertained and stimulated too?

Where are all the articles written FOR MEN on how to pamper their wives after they've given birth? There's no list of great things a hubby can do for his wife after she has a baby...Why as women do we make it ok for men to get away with doing as little as possible?

I'm pretty sure my husband is all grown up and has the capability to understand that he may not get as much attention, time, or sex from me in the immediate future after I have given birth.

Sorry to rant, but I just can't believe that a woman would suggest to other women that we need to "be everything" after having a baby. I take my marriage seriously. I am constantly thinking of ways to make my husband's life easier, and do things to make him happy...I do my part at home to make sure my marriage is strong and that I make time for my husband, but after having a baby, I shouldn't have to cater to a grown man by "dressing cute" or forcing myself to stay up so I'm awake when he comes to bed.

Good grief Charlie Brown!

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Last edited by Urchin; 11-19-2012 at 05:22 PM.
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Old 11-19-2012, 05:26 PM   #2
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Re: Are we stuck in the 1950's???

Holy cow. I get trying to make sure hubby doesn't feel neglected and ignored, but that list is just .

And thanks so much, but in the immediate post partum period, he can do that stuff, minus the sexual stuff (because seriously I don't want to be touched PP for at least a month or two in that way), for me instead. I carried a baby for 9 months and gave birth. My turn to be pampered!
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Old 11-19-2012, 05:26 PM   #3
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Re: Are we stuck in the 1950's???

I think you read that post with a judgemental attitude. Right in the beginning of the post she says that she had many woman asking her for this advice. I see nothing wrong with it. Besides, when you act in an unselfish manner, it tends to come right back at you in good ways.
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Old 11-19-2012, 05:30 PM   #4
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Re: Are we stuck in the 1950's???

I thought it was cute and cheeky, but then I read it as "pick one or two of these things to try" and not like you should be doing the whole list all day everyday.
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Old 11-19-2012, 05:42 PM   #5
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Re: Are we stuck in the 1950's???

I know many men that have felt left out after a wee one arrives. Others don't. I think she was gearing the article to the women wondering what they could do to help their husbands not feel forgotten? It is actually easier to do then one might think (the forgetting the husband part)

I'd probably be pretty content in the 50's

I'd probably introduce the concept of gifting your wife after she has had a baby. I'd be the chick asking for this:

http://pinterest.com/pin/240379698832207847/
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Old 11-19-2012, 05:43 PM   #6
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Im not understanding why you find this outdated? Its so important to show appreciation for your dh even after a baby. I think those are great ideas. Would I do every single one? No. But would and should I do the majority, yes!
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Old 11-19-2012, 05:47 PM   #7
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Re: Are we stuck in the 1950's???

I think some of the points are fairly benign but some of them are tragic. Lay out his pyjamas and put a book on the pillow for him -- WHAT?!
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Old 11-19-2012, 05:48 PM   #8
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Re: Are we stuck in the 1950's???

I am probably the most self-less person when it comes to putting everyone ahead of me...but I seriously consider the immediate time after giving birth a time in which a woman should be concerned with healing and mothering.

Sometimes I just feel like we treat our men like children who need to be coddled. They're grown and should be able to understand that "making them feel special" is not a top priority when baby comes.
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Old 11-19-2012, 05:52 PM   #9
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Re: Are we stuck in the 1950's???

Quote:
Originally Posted by jam's mum View Post
I think some of the points are fairly benign but some of them are tragic. Lay out his pyjamas and put a book on the pillow for him -- WHAT?!
Agreed. I found that one to be a little creepy. I'm not his mother, I'm his wife. We are PARTNERS. Luckily for me, my DH thinks of ways to take care of me and make sure I get ample time to bond and breastfeed our newborns
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Old 11-19-2012, 05:53 PM   #10
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Re: Are we stuck in the 1950's???

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Originally Posted by Urchin View Post
I am probably the most self-less person when it comes to putting everyone ahead of me...but I seriously consider the immediate time after giving birth a time in which a woman should be concerned with healing and mothering.

Sometimes I just feel like we treat our men like children who need to be coddled. They're grown and should be able to understand that "making them feel special" is not a top priority when baby comes.
I couldn't agree more!
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