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Old 11-19-2012, 07:30 PM   #21
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Re: Are we stuck in the 1950's???

I'd be okay with that, if most of that was about how the husband should be treating the new mom. My baby is SEVEN months old, and there's still no way I'd have enough attention or time to devote to that sort of stuff. Probably by the time our youngest is 2 years old and more independent will he begin to get more attention from me.

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Old 11-19-2012, 07:40 PM   #22
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Re: Are we stuck in the 1950's???

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I think some of the points are fairly benign but some of them are tragic. Lay out his pyjamas and put a book on the pillow for him -- WHAT?!
No doubt.

I didn't mind some of the suggestions but anything that involves me delaying how quickly I can get to the bed and to sleep gets a big no in my books. Those first few weeks are such a blur that my DH would be lucky if I didn't put out a soup spoon and oven mitts thinking those were his pajamas.
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Old 11-19-2012, 07:42 PM   #23
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Re: Are we stuck in the 1950's???

God #1, Husband #2... If he wants his pillow fluffed or a book layed out I will do it. After listening to kids scream and touch me non stop all day, at night I am his. I want to be worth more then rubies to him Prov. 31
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Old 11-19-2012, 07:48 PM   #24
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I couldn't get past the calling your DH "daddy" part. Unless she means referring to him as daddy to the baby, like "look, Daddy's home" but otherwise calling my husband Daddy is plain icky.

The rest of it for the most part, I just found a little silly but didn't find it particularly offensive. Like most everything on Pinterest, I just ignore and go on with my lazy self
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Old 11-19-2012, 07:53 PM   #25
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God #1, Husband #2... If he wants his pillow fluffed or a book layed out I will do it. After listening to kids scream and touch me non stop all day, at night I am his. I want to be worth more then rubies to him Prov. 31
I'm curious if this works in reverse. For a man, is it God first, and then wife? Or is it God, self, and then wife? Because I'm pretty sure asking your wife to fluff your pillow not long after giving birth is pretty selfish. Same with expecting her to sacrifice sleep or perform sexual favors in those first few weeks post partum.

I have no problem with women who want to do these things for their DHs. I can't fathom DHs who would actually expect or demand it, though.
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Old 11-19-2012, 08:14 PM   #26
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Re: Are we stuck in the 1950's???

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I'm curious if this works in reverse. For a man, is it God first, and then wife? Or is it God, self, and then wife? Because I'm pretty sure asking your wife to fluff your pillow not long after giving birth is pretty selfish. Same with expecting her to sacrifice sleep or perform sexual favors in those first few weeks post partum.

I have no problem with women who want to do these things for their DHs. I can't fathom DHs who would actually expect or demand it, though.
Though it is Old Testament law the Bible clearly talks about purification after childbirth ~ So, if a husband was putting God first then he would probaby want to wait the days that God tells us to before having sex.

Like you, I could not imagine a DH that would would expect or demand those things either. Mine treats me like his pride and joy ~ he does nothing but provide and support me, especially during my times of need. Just like I want to do the same for him.

As far as your first question, we teach our children that God is first, others second, yourself last - this is what the Word tells us. So, my DH would put God first, others (including me) second, and himself last.
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Old 11-19-2012, 08:16 PM   #27
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I agree with the point of the article, it is important to take a second out of your day to make sure your husband is doing ok. It's not saying you must do anything on the list, but it does say that these are ways to make him feel special and remind him that you still love him. Now. . . I am all about God #1 and Husband #2 but if my husband ever asked me to fluff his pillow... I would just laugh at him. I do lots of silly things just for my husband... Making sure the tooth paste is squeezed to the top, making sure the toilet paper is rolled the right way... But after I have a baby, he should probably shut up if all the tooth paste is at the bottom of the tube. Lol.

I think women think men should all just be secure. But men(like women) have areas where they worry they are good enough, doing enough, smart enough.... And just because the way we are reaffirmed of our insecurities might be different then men, doesn't make them petty or ridiculous or selfish... It makes them humans with emotional needs. Just because the baby is here, doesn't mean we should abandon them and expect them to suck it up for 6 weeks.... Sometimes, they need more than that. After I have a baby, I want my husband to support me breast feeding, I want him to tell me I am still attractive to him, I want him to show me he Appreciates my hard work... Men just need the same reassurance, they just get their reassurance in different ways.
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Old 11-19-2012, 08:18 PM   #28
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God #1, Husband #2... If he wants his pillow fluffed or a book layed out I will do it. After listening to kids scream and touch me non stop all day, at night I am his. I want to be worth more then rubies to him Prov. 31
I'm with that train of thought, really. But the first 6 weeks after birth- survival mode. I'm no good to anyone especially my newborn if I'm sleep deprived or otherwise peace deprived.
During this time there is NOTHING wrong him being selfless too. I should be worth more to him than rubies, not only for caring for him but keeping a happy home and healthy child.
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Old 11-19-2012, 08:28 PM   #29
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I couldn't get past the calling your DH "daddy" part. Unless she means referring to him as daddy to the baby, like "look, Daddy's home" but otherwise calling my husband Daddy is plain icky.

The rest of it for the most part, I just found a little silly but didn't find it particularly offensive. Like most everything on Pinterest, I just ignore and go on with my lazy self
This. I think my DH would die laughing if I did some of these things. The whole calling him daddy and buying daddy kitsch? SO not on in my house.

Leaving him alone with the baby is good advice. The rest... Meh
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Old 11-19-2012, 08:35 PM   #30
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Re: Are we stuck in the 1950's???

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This. I think my DH would die laughing if I did some of these things. The whole calling him daddy and buying daddy kitsch? SO not on in my house.

Leaving him alone with the baby is good advice. The rest... Meh
Right! I had friends years ago, a DH and DW, who called each other mommy and daddy..."Hey mommy what are fixin' for dinner." "Hey daddy, I love you." It skeeved me out!
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