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Old 11-20-2012, 10:57 AM   #11
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Re: Another MIL post..WWYD?

I would keep the gift and just completely ignore her. I don't even think you owe her a thank you note if the gift came without any indication about who it was from.

FWIW, my DH has a real mom, ex-step-mom, and current step-mom. We speak to all of them. There was a period of time when DH didn't speak to his real mom for a couple of years (before we met). Although we speak to her now, we never expect much out of her. There was also a period of time when DH didn't speak to his real dad for a couple of years and his dad blamed me. I handled it by showing up at his dad's door (alone) with a big smile on my face and telling him that I just wanted to stop by and say hi since I didn't get to see him much any more. He was shocked, but let me in and we talked for a little while. It didn't change anything between my DH & his dad, but it did stop his dad from blaming me.

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Last edited by CASMama711; 11-20-2012 at 10:58 AM.
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Old 11-20-2012, 11:16 AM   #12
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Re: Another MIL post..WWYD?

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Originally Posted by mibarra View Post
Good grief. Why are MIL and step MIL FB friends anyway? Sounds like a recipe for disaster there. Now she's claiming to have named your baby, and implying it's your fault that her son doesn't like her. If she sent the gift anonymously, IMO she shouldn't expect a thank you not. I think returning it will cause more drama, I'd send a thank you from baby and be done with it.
I agree with all of this.

If you're really done with MIL then I would suggest you block her on FB, you can't get drawn into drama you aren't aware of.
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Old 11-20-2012, 11:25 AM   #13
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Re: Another MIL post..WWYD?

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With her..I just know this is the beginning. This past spring we started ignoring her completely and she called our house 11 times in the middle of the night (around midnight on a work night), it was so bad that we just had to answer the phone or else it wasn't going to stop. She's also constantly emailing step MIL telling her that she's not a grandma and not to call my DH her son, because she's not their grandma or his mother. Which breaks my heart because I'm also a step mama.

I guess I'll just keep the gift, send a very generic TY card, and carry on.
This is exactly what I would do, and then I would feel very proud of myself for being so mature
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Old 11-20-2012, 11:51 AM   #14
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Re: Another MIL post..WWYD?

Oh for Pete's sake. People like her just drive me nuts. She obviously doesn't love her son enough to behave like an adult, respect his family, or let him enjoy this special time. I think you have the right idea. He does not have to send the thank you. I would send her a SUPER generic card like you mentioned.

Thank you for the "..." and sign The "...." Family or just your first name.

If your husband does not want to keep the gift you could donate it to charity. We have done that before. We have also shipped things back but with you being overseas that would be too much. Perhaps you could speak w/ step MIL about blocking MIL so that some of this drama will not continue? We do not have Facebook for this very reason. Congrats on your baby
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Old 11-20-2012, 12:08 PM   #15
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Re: Another MIL post..WWYD?

Honestly, I wouldn't even send a card. It'll likely just make her try to contact you even more. Keep it, ignore, tell step MIL she can ignore MIL as well.
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Old 11-20-2012, 12:58 PM   #16
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Re: Another MIL post..WWYD?

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Good grief. Why are MIL and step MIL FB friends anyway? Sounds like a recipe for disaster there.
Because step MIL is too nice and wants us all to be a family because the divorce/remarriage happened 30+ years ago and sees no reason to not get along. But, I think she has finally taken her off of her friends list!
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Old 11-20-2012, 01:00 PM   #17
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Re: Another MIL post..WWYD?

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If you're really done with MIL then I would suggest you block her on FB, you can't get drawn into drama you aren't aware of.
Done! I keep forgetting that you can block people and it keeps them from seeing you and you seeing them.
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Old 11-20-2012, 01:00 PM   #18
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If MIL hasn't personally claimed credit for the gift, I might not even send a thank-you yet. What if it wasn't actually her? Is your relationship with SIL good enough that you believe her? Not questioning SIL on her ethics. Just would hate to open a can of worms with MIL if she didn't even send it in the first place.
If my MIL says something (she's at the top of the bat-s*^t crazy list) its always taken with a grain of salt. If SIL or BIL tell us something she said we can almost be sure they got a half truth.
I would also agree with PP who have said to cut contact on FB. Step-MIL should too. Doesn't sound like anything good can come from communicating with her at this point.
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Old 11-20-2012, 01:07 PM   #19
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Re: Another MIL post..WWYD?

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If MIL hasn't personally claimed credit for the gift, I might not even send a thank-you yet. What if it wasn't actually her? Is your relationship with SIL good enough that you believe her?
MIL has done stuff like this before, sending things without a note or telling us. I've had to call Amazon a few times to confirm that the 'mystery packages' come from her, so I believe SIL that MIL sent it.
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Old 11-20-2012, 02:04 PM   #20
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Originally Posted by lizxvx

MIL has done stuff like this before, sending things without a note or telling us. I've had to call Amazon a few times to confirm that the 'mystery packages' come from her, so I believe SIL that MIL sent it.
Wow! She definitely sounds like too much trouble. I get sending stuff anonymously as a good deed, but only when you truly don't want recognition. It doesn't sound like she feels this way.

Best of luck with however it shakes out. You don't need the stress, so follow your instincts.
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