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Old 11-19-2012, 09:00 PM   #11
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Originally Posted by Ashsmama

Yes, exactly.
Me too. I felt like i was having a panic attack every time he would cry. I was not able to function at all. If you even think you have it you should call your doc immediately. Take a deep breath, you can get through it.


K, wife to my wonderful E, mom to my beautiful A. We are CDing, country living, outdoor loving, crazy happy family!
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Old 11-19-2012, 10:24 PM   #12
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Originally Posted by Mara'sMommy
I'm still unsure. I don't feel the same way about my 7 week old that I did/do about my almost 2 year old. But the toddler was my first born. I was frustrated last night with the baby, she had been fussing all day long and did so until 4am. She wants to be held all the time and I am resenting it. I want to spend time with my toddler without the baby, and a shower would be nice. I love her, obviously. But that overwhelming feeling of love isn't there like it was with my first. Thoughts?
Its hard having a newborn, period. But especially if the baby is your second or more child. You might feel like your toddler feels left out or that he/she got his/her baby hood stolen because of the new baby. Or, that you cant get anything done, the new baby takes up all of your time plus you have another child to spend time with too. Or, you might be thinking, "I love my first child SO much how can I love my second just the same?" All of those feelings are normal when you have a new baby in the picture.
But, maybe, feeling like you resent your baby isnt.
I felt the same way. I talked to a friend of mine who then mentioned I should speak to my doctor. I did that and I was so glad. My doctor didnt make me feel ashamed that I felt resentful towords my baby. I was prescribed Prozac and once it was in my system I felt soooo much better. I was able to handle stressful situations, like my baby crying all the time. And, I had more energy. Plus, I wasnt sobbing at the drop of a hat anymore.
Talk to your doctor about any concerns you might have, you wont regret it.
Also, about getting to shower, If my baby was awake I would put him in his swing in the bathroom and have my toddler daughter shower with me.
Or, I would shower while baby took a nap and before my toddler woke up in the morning.
Just some ideas!

I hope you feel better soon!
Bianca- married to a Ford truck loving cowboy (March 2011) and a SAHM to my 3yo Diva (8/3/10), 2yo Prince (12/28/11), and another Prince born October 2013!
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Old 11-20-2012, 10:14 PM   #13
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Re: PPD?

I agree with the other mamas, its not going to hurt to talk to your provider about your feelings. Even if you don't go the medication route, its best to share your feelings and get help if you need it.

Good luck and hang in there, it will get better!
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Old 11-20-2012, 10:43 PM   #14
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My ppd was feelings of anger at everyone and wanting to disassociate from baby. I never felt "sad". I also had 0 feelings of baby love. I felt tremendous shame because I thought it was suppose to be instantaneous or pretty soon after birth. A friend (who has three) said the time for bonding varied with each. It took a long time for me to get there.

Technically (for what ever that's worth) its feelings of depression, sadness, anxiety, etc lasting two weeks or more.

Like everyone else has said reach out to someone you trust, get meds if they help, but do not feel ashamed or alone!!!! There are so many moms who have been there and done that. Your baby needs a happy mama.

The "good" part is the new baby doesn't know what you feel and won't remember this period of time.

Best advice my therapist gave me was to stop thinking "I should" thoughts: I should feel love, I should feel happy, I should want to do x y z... Be in the moment and accept it for what it is. If something feels good/nice/pleasant, acknowledge it even if it lasts for a few seconds. It will get better and those moments will get longer and better.

Also, if the first person/med doesn't help, don't stop there and just accept it. Keep reaching out to find someone who can help. It took me a while to find the right team, but once I did things were 100% better.

Last edited by AniMommy; 11-20-2012 at 10:55 PM.
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Old 11-21-2012, 01:19 AM   #15
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Re: PPD?

I couldn't stop crying. I had nothing to be sad about, but I just would cry and cry and cry!!!
It stopped when she was 2wks old!

I kept in contact with my midwife and she would call me and check in on me!
Ariana Armando
{M.o3'} {E.o5'} {C.o9'} {S.12'} {D.14'} {J.15'}
.o8 .13

Last edited by trying4more; 11-21-2012 at 01:21 AM.
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Old 11-21-2012, 06:56 AM   #16
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I second what a lot of these ladies said. I had very bad ppd that went undiagnosed until DS was 6 months old. At that point I moved in with my mom and she saw that things were not right. I didnt have typical depression signs and thats why dh and I just didnt identify what it was.

Not seeking help sooner is my one regret about his birth. I missed so much of his life resenting him.

Even if you have mild ppd, sometimes just getting diagnosed and legitimising the ppd helps. You can find a counselor to help you learn new coping techniques. For me those things along with 6 months of Prozac changed my life.
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Old 11-21-2012, 11:35 AM   #17
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Re: PPD?

If you're asking yourself if you have it, get help.
This exactly. If you are questioning it, its worth getting a professional's opinion. For me, I felt complete apathy. Didnt care about eating, didnt care about DH...just didnt feel anything. It was awful.
April-Wife to hopeless romantic nuclear submariner DH WOHM to my rambunctious snuggler DS (08/10) who was born SMILING. and DD (2/13) my hero
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Old 11-21-2012, 09:05 PM   #18
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Re: PPD?

My mother is bipolar so I was concerned about PPD before I even had the baby. I talked with my doctor and he prescribed me an anti-depressant (sorry I don't remember which one). There were only 1 or 2 days where I just couldn't make myself feel happy no matter what and so I used it on those days. What a difference it made. But just because you don't feel depressed doesn't mean you aren't experiencing ppd. I learned that when other people began telling me things I was doing or ways that I was behaving that were not part of my normal character. Unfortunately they waited for like 6 months to tell me so I didn't know or I might have done more to deal with it.

There is no shame in talking to your doctor, for having ppd or for taking medicine for it. And you shouldn't wait until it gets bad b/c bad could have you taking a big jump off the nearest cliff that you can't return from. PPD is no joke, so err on the side of caution for your baby, your family, and most importantly yourself.
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