Living together before marriage. Yay or nay?

[cdeweese]

In your situation, I would not. It sounds like he's really not understanding you feelings on the matter. That's an issue. You can still be together and live separately. Is it ideal, no. But neither is living together to accommodate him and others when it doesn't feel right it to you. The two of you need to figure this out before you go any further.

[jessicanashville]

My upbringing says no one should live together before they marry but I think everyone should do it. Does that make sense? I NEVER would have married my ex if I would have lived with him first, EVER. I think you have to date for several years or live together because you don't REALLY know someone til you have spent a considerable amount of time with them.

[threelittlehoneys]

OP how are you doing? Have you made a decision about your living arrangement?

From where you were in your last post I'd say giving the relationship some more time to build trust between you would be a good idea, as well as maybe a trial week of living together.
I don't really think that living together or apart would make or break your relationship. But fear very well can be a wedge that keeps people from truly experiencing unconditional love. So that imo would be the priority. Maybe going to couseling together to get everything from the past out in the open, share what has happened and overcome the fear of the same things happening between you two.

How far along are you now?

[InBloomDoula]

Originally Posted by beccatown The statistics for divorce are higher amongst those who co-habitate before marriage compared to those who don't.

This exactly. With cohabitation, there is the temptation to never bother with marriage since you already live together and it is more convenient to just keep on living the way you already are. It may be a good idea to relocate closer together but not live in the same place.

[MichelleKiley]

Originally Posted by KaleidoscopeEyes yeah but isnt it more likely that people who dont live together are religious and choose to not get divorced because of their religion

The divorce rate is actually nearly the same among "religious" groups as those claiming no religion. (About 50%)

[Silver)O(Moon]

I felt the same way as you, I wanted to know that marriage was at least "in the cards" for us. At first I didn't think I cared, but the more I fell I fell in love the more I realized I still had those dreams for myself. So I made my wishes known as gently as possible, and tried to just give him some time. It worked!

If you are overall well-matched and in love, and you want to be together, I say cohabitating is a smart step. You will want his support during your pregnancy. We weren't pregnant (yet) but it just made sense to move in together. We were spending all our time together anyway and my little apartment was too small and with both our incomes we could get a really nice place. We rented a house together in Aug and by Thanksgiving he'd proposed. We got married the following summer. And I was six months pregnant at my wedding LOL. I wouldn't change a thing.

[I_run_with_scissors]

dp

[I_run_with_scissors]

i voted yes, because we did. But i dont really care what anyone else does, so i guess im indifferent to it.

[ElizasMommy606]

I voted yes. I've been with my love 8 years and we're not married. We have 2 beautiful kids together. I think it depends on each situation, IMO.

[abunchoflemons]

My hubby and I bought house before we got married.but we were going to get married because my situation with my oldest kid. Maybe you should just ask if small wedding would be ok. Cheap with finger food sandwiches, chips, end like especially if you have Sam or Costco......