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Old 09-27-2012, 01:04 PM   #51
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Re: What no one tells you about a miscarriage - graphic

Originally Posted by danimdel View Post
Looking for a thread just like this...thanks for the stories mamas. I am pretty much waiting for a miscarriage to start. I'm supposed to be 10 weeks but u/s yesterday showed no baby . I feel like a ticking time bomb, just waiting. I am spotting and it's turning more red, but no cramping. I'm just really hoping that this passes because taking cytotec doesn't appeal toe at all.
Danielle, My heart goes out to you. I hope you're at least physically ok right now and surrounded by loved ones to support you. Many, many, many Please come back to let us know how you are when you get a chance.


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Old 09-29-2012, 04:05 PM   #52
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Originally Posted by stevensmom

oh I'm so sorry sweetie
Originally Posted by kricket24

Danielle, My heart goes out to you. I hope you're at least physically ok right now and surrounded by loved ones to support you. Many, many, many Please come back to let us know how you are when you get a chance.
Thanks so much ladies. I ended up passing the pregnancy on my own last Sunday on our anniversary. I was just happy that I was able to do it naturally. The heaviest, crampiest part was only about 2 hours. I saw the dr the next day for our appt that was scheduled as my first prenatal visit and she checked me out and thought everything had passed. She ordered 2 Hcg draws and that is dropping very quickly. Still bleeding, but it's slowed way down now. So physically doing fine and still an emotional mess. I thought we would just try immediately but now that I've had a little while to think I don't think it's a good idea for us. Makes me terribly sad to wait now because we wanted this baby so badly, but I just don't feel like its something we can handle right away
Danielle, happy wife and Mommy to B, A and newbie J!
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Old 11-14-2012, 05:36 PM   #53
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Re: What no one tells you about a miscarriage - graphic

Mine is still a work in progress as it's not over yet, but this isn't something anyone wants to hear about, so it's nice to have somewhere to get it all out.

I found out I was measuring WAY behind at my 9wk ultrasound. I had to wait until that Friday to hear that my beta levels were dropping rapidly. Saturday I had a bit of bleeding, then it stopped completely. A little spotting on Sunday, but not anything note worthy. Monday nothing. All day Tuesday I had regular bleeding. Wednesday morning I got up and when I went to the bathroom I passed 2 large "globs". It may have been the blood that collected while I slept. All day Wednesday steady bleeding. Wednesday evening while cleaning the kitchen there was a huge gush. I seriously wondered if I peed myself. Went to the bathroom and the blood was just flowing out. No sooner did it slow and I wiped and got up I felt another gush. Passed several large globs again. This was definitely not from pooling blood as I had been standing for quite some time.

So my body is at least making progress. It sucked a LOT having to wait over a week, knowing my baby had stopped living, but nothing happening.

I haven't had much pain so far. I don't know if the worst is yet to come or if I'm just lucky. I guess time will tell.

ETA---I'm 99% certain everything has passed now. I haven't had cramping, so I was just going about my life. Well, as a result, I wasn't on the toilet when everything came out. Talk about a horrible sensation. Feeling everything come pouring out into your pad/underwear. But the bleeding slowed immediately and I don't feel "heavy" down there any more. I almost feel bad that it was so easy physically, but I have SUPER fast and easy labors, so maybe they go right in line with each other. I don't know. I hope it's over now though so I can try to move forward.
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Old 11-23-2012, 10:13 PM   #54
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I am so sorry for everyone's losses. I would like to say thank you for putting this out there, though. I agree, it shouldn't be so taboo. I have not ever experienced m/c at this point and I pray I never will. I had a post-particular hemorrhage at home a week after having DS that was similar to what you guys are describing. Thankfully it happened when DH was home so he drove me to the ER. At home, I passed a clot larger than my hand and fingers together and a second one slightly smaller. I truly thought I was going to bleed to death b/c we live 40 minutes from the hospital. Sadly, I ended up having two more (less severe) hemorrhages before they did the D&C and removed a large fibroid (which we had known about all along). I, too, had retained placenta plus the large fibroid. to have the D&C or not is a very personal decision but given my experiences with bleeding and a D&C, I found the D&C to be a cakewalk compared to the trauma of blending so severely, hurting like I did and being so terrified. (And by no means does a D&C not have risks too...this was just my experience.) Anyway, i wish someone had old me how bad hemorrhage can be and that you can still be okay. Again, I truly thought i was dying that night. Furthermore, I was scared that if I survived, the only way to do so would be to have an emergency hysterectomy - no what i wanted at all. This was discussed but after being admitted to the hospital and medicated, I was assured it was under control. Big hugs, mamas. I hope we all get BFPs very soon and have complication-free babies.
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Old 11-28-2012, 10:37 AM   #55
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Unhappy Re: What no one tells you about a miscarriage - graphic

I just experienced my first miscarriage. Before I tell my story just let me say, the way I was explained it would feel was like a heavy period. It was FAR FAR from a heavy period. Why do they not explain that possibly you will feel like you are going through painful labor? That is what you are doing. I had worse contractions than my first delivery, which was an induced labor. It was excrusiating. Not only was it incredibly painful, it was scary. After going through about 3 hours of contractions that kept getting closer and closer together, I woke up to my 15 month old throwing up. When I got up to help my husband take care of him, I gushed out. The contractions stopped for a while as I kept passing huge clots, bigger than my fist. I had to sit on the toilet and just keep gushing out. I literally couldnt try and catch anything. I felt like I was flushing my baby down the toilet. Just awful. After a while I started to feel very faint. I couldnt even crawl across the floor without feeling like I was going to pass out. My blood pressure had dropped so low I was having trouble breathing and was white as a ghost. I had already been to the ER earlier that morning, just for them to send me home and tell me to wait it out to see if baby passed by itself, they didn't even give me the option to have a dnc even though I asked. So back to the ER we went. When I got there I was so weak I couldn't even state my name, they rushed me back and immediately started fluids and did 2 blood transfusions. I started heavy contracting again, an ultrasound had shown that I had already passed baby but there was still "product" still in there. Had to wait until morning for dr to get there to do a dnc. Meanwhile the nurse taking care of me on several occations ignored me to chat it up with my husband (who is a doctor she found out, so obviously she felt she had so much in common with him) she seemed pretty flirtatious and completely insensative to what I was going through. Not only that, but she was the worst IV giver I have ever seen and had to keep reinserting the needles, which had to be on both sides since my blood pressure was dropping so fast, they had to do blood transfusion on both sides. WORST night of my life. I pray to never see days like this again. I just don't think my heart could take it. All this being said, I am not telling my story to scare anybody, only to identify with others who have gone through this as it was so traumatic. I do believe time will make it easier. I was just released from the hospital yesterday morning so everything is still fresh and I am just wanting comfort. Many women have experienced this and make it through. It's comforting to know that so many understand this pain I and my family are going through.
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Old 10-21-2014, 07:19 PM   #56
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Re: What no one tells you about a miscarriage - graphic

Thankyou for sharing. My own story is somewhere in the struggles and support forum.
A friend with 5 kids recently asked me what it's like to go through a mc and I told her: Just like childbirth. Only when it's all over and your body feels like a train wreck, you have no baby to hold in your arms and cuddle. She cried with me.

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Old 01-19-2015, 01:09 PM   #57
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Re: What no one tells you about a miscarriage - graphic

I'm so sorry for your loss and for your experience, but thank you very much for sharing. I've not experienced a miscarriage myself, but I know people who have and it now helps me better understand what they went through. Thank you.
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Old 08-20-2015, 08:48 AM   #58
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Re: What no one tells you about a miscarriage - graphic

Thank you for sharing your story.

Erica helped me decide that a D&C was my best option due to her grocery store miscarriage. We learned we lost our baby on Aug. 5th at 10wks4days due to no heartbeat.

I had previously had to C-sections and was so worried about the scar tissue or something else causing me to hemorrhage.

I hope anyone who has to make a choice reads what you have posted here and decides what is best for them. I didn't want to do the D&C but I was so scared that something could go wrong and believe me I have the worst of luck. That was my deciding point.

We lost a full term baby in July of 2007 and this loss my feelings are the same no matter the size or when anyone says a fetus is a baby during a certain point in pregnancy. Baby's are alive as soon as conception occurs and the loss no matter how far along you are is very much the same. A precious life is lost and we will never get to fully see them grow.

Hugs and best wishes to all you mommy's who have loved and lost a little one.

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Old 08-20-2015, 10:32 AM   #59
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Re: What no one tells you about a miscarriage - graphic

Threads like this are so important. They can be part of the healing process of us, and they are helpful to those who have to anticipate this process, as well as those who will never have to go through it but need to understand what it is that we endure.

My experiences have varied. I've had 10 miscarriages over the last 11.5 years.

Losses 1-5 were all very similar...just like a late, heavy period. My first was probably the worst, because it was the most shocking (not that the rest weren't as awful, but I just knew what to expect). Cramped like a normal period too, but I cramp a lot anyway. (with my very first one I also DID take methergine after an E.R. visit...miscarriage happened while we were on vacation. E.R. was terrible, asking if I was sure I was ever pregnant, how did I know, etc, then the vaginal u/s was terrible and made me bleed a HUGE gush of tissue and fluid onto the floor afterward)

Miscarriage #6 was a MMC, we didn't find out until my 10 week u/s. Baby had passed a week and a half prior. I was adamant about avoiding a D&C so it was a full 2 weeks before my hCG dropped low enough for the process to begin. I had NO spotting or cramping or ANY signs of it happening until the night of 12 weeks, then I woke up in the night with full on contractions (literally, just like full-term labor) for about 45 minutes and then I passed the entire sac intact. The pain disappeared with that. I bled like a regular period for about a week more.

Miscarriage #7 was a "misdiagnosed" ectopic. I had an empty uterus at my 6w5d u/s, but very clear tubes as well. My levels we dropping "normally", and I started bleeding that same day, and my doctor assured me it was just a normal miscarriage. I bleed for a week...which WAS a "normal" miscarriage for me. EXCEPT there was zero cramping. At 8w3d I started to feel gassy, but without the gas. I had some dark red spotting/bleeding off and on. Called the nurse but she wasn't concerned. By that night the pain ceased. In the morning it was so bad, I barely got out of bed and just laid on the bathroom floor, unable to move and afraid I was going to vomit. Hubby (a medic) came home, MIL and FIL came over (RN and MD) and gave me zofran and a percocet for the pain, and then we decided hubby would call work so they could transport me to the E.R. (did NOT want to go in ourselves and have to lay on the waiting room floor in horrible pain) About an hour and a half later I was in the u/s room, and while she was scanning the pressure ruptured my tube. First time in my life I ever felt like I was dying, and I guess that was a pretty accurate feeling. I went back to the ER and was into emergency surgery a bit later and had lost 800cc of blood by that point, and they removed an 8cm mass from my tube, as well as the tube itself. Couldn't do it laproscopically because of the extent of the bleeding and the damage, so I had a full 5" abdominal incision to recover from. Had NO bleeding or spotting after the surgery though. I DID suffer from some depression after this loss. Whether it was from the experience itself or from a culmination of 5 consecutive losses in 12 months, I don't know.

So then by miscarriage #8, I was pretty worried. I'd had my youngest child in between, so I had some hope to hold onto, but when my pregnancy tests never darkened and just held out for over a week, I was worried it was another ectopic. When you only have one tube left and could have potentially saved the first had it been accurately diagnosed in the first place, it's pretty nerve-wracking and you don't want to look away for a second. Eventually the lines slowly disappeared and I finally started bleeding. It's really crappy to be in a place where miscarriage, as awful as it is, is a RELIEF.

#9 and #10 were both very early, probably "chemical" pregnancies by popular definition. Had I not tested, I may never have known. However, at this point, as much as I hate the numbers stacking up against me, I'd rather know than not know.

There are a number of main points I've picked up along this journey.

1. That just being "young and healthy" doesn't mean you can't/won't miscarry. Mine started when I was 19 (we got married when I was 18). I had zero risk factors.

2. That when you ARE the "young and healthy" one miscarrying- over and over and over again- it's very lonely, because it DOES seem like you're the only one, and your peers (among others) look at you like a freak of nature because 1) you wanted children in the first place, and 2) despite all those girls who had babies in high school (making it appear foolproof), you can't seem to keep them alive when you get pregnant.

3. That the majority of people around you won't likely want to talk about your losses because THEY are uncomfortable.

4. That announcing pregnancy is an entirely different ballgame when loss is involved. The whole "want to tell so I can get support if something bad happens" doesn't always work out that way, and in fact, can be even HARDER to deal with when people around you haven't experienced loss themselves. Having it ignored or swept under the rug just plain stings.

5. That bitterness and can be some of the hardest things to understand and deal with after losing babies. And that having successful pregnancies/living babies eventually doesn't necessarily make it all go away. 11 years after my first and some days I still struggle just as much as ever. There are times I think I've become a terrible person.

6. That I would find myself stooping to some serious lows in efforts to get people to remember my losses and what I've been through, and that learning to LET GO of that and understand that I may very well be the only one to remember my babies in the end and there's nothing I can do to change that is a very difficult thing to accept.

7. That a late first trimester loss results in actual, full-on contractions and labor. Never saw that one coming after numerous earlier, immediate losses.

8. That walking around with a dead baby inside of me was a strange thing- part relief that I had an answer as to whether or not my baby was okay, part anxiety waiting for the miscarriage "to happen, and part horror that I was still pregnant, but with a baby who was no longer alive. All topping off the grief that naturally accompanies the loss of a very wanted baby.

9. That just because you're a "quiverful" family or one who leaves their fertility up to God does NOT mean you will end up like the Duggar's. We chose to let God choose our family size years ago, but I guess it never occurred to me that I could have more babies in Heaven than on earth. Never really hear of that side of any of those stories, and many times that adds to my bitterness and envy.

10. That hindsight is 20/20 and I wish I would have allowed myself to rely on my intuition more than the doctors confidence and my past experiences. Perhaps I wouldn't have lost my tube and gone through one of the most horrifying experiences of my life.

11. That being pregnant at the same time as friends/family- no matter how exciting the idea used to seem- becomes a dreaded experience, because being left behind over and over (and then going on to watch them be pregnant and have their babies) again can really wear a person down.

12. That after losses, people begin to watch your every move and try to find reasons for why "you" caused your miscarriages.

13. That people start deciding that you should be done having children because you keep losing them. Therefore, if you get pregnant again, you're treated as if you're irresponsible.

14. That even some people close to me who knew loss firsthand would grieve TOTALLY different than I did/do, and that it would affect our relationships because they felt I was too "whiny."

15. That future pregnancies will never be the same. Loss changes everything.

I think I'm gonna stop...I can see I'm making this really personal. But really, I think I would have liked to know those things before they happened to me. Probably not the same for everyone, though.
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Old 08-20-2015, 12:00 PM   #60
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Re: What no one tells you about a miscarriage - graphic

to you all.
Here to help if I can.
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