Diaper Swappers

Beaners_Mom · 10-31-2012, 02:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by swedishmaiden

I worked in CPS in my state (Washington) and Washington has a stipulation that child neglect can be grounds for termination of parental rights IF it is ongoing for a period of time with no improvement. I would see if you can find out whether your state has something similar, and if so, I would keep calling CPS to file new cases. I would either wait until the case closed and then call to open a new one fairly within a couple weeks or I would come up with a way to word your report so it sounds like a new report, if they are keeping the initial one open for weeks.

Have any of the reports been founded for neglect?

One report last year was founded. It was for excessive corporal punishment and inadequate guardianship.

This CPS case has been open for 2 months. The last case closed in May. So there was about a 2 month gap between cases. They keep them open to investigate them for months.

For the founded case he was ordered to take parenting classes & anger management. He walked out of the last class saying it was BS & he hadn't done anything wrong. His counselor wrote a paper talking about what great strides he made (he saw him 3 times...and nothing changed).

I'm going to look into what you suggested. Thank you.

Beaners_Mom · 10-31-2012, 02:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by swedishmaiden

Oh, and if you have know anyone else who has had access to the house and could make a report, it would look better to have reports coming in from different sources. A teacher who notices a child smells at school due to an unclean home - a grandparent - etc.

His mom is the only one he let's in the house & she wouldn't care how it looked. His ex-wife goes in the house, but I don't think she cares either because she doesn't want the kids??

I know they've talked to the school before about the kids. The only reason he let's me in the house is because it's in our court order that I be allowed (he would leave guns on the table & I wanted something saying I was allowed to check the house to make sure he wasn't leaving guns around).

firemommaof1 · 10-31-2012, 02:27 PM

Sorry but those pictures are horrible. I would not let my child near a house like that. CPS and such services are set up for this very reason. Complain. I wouldn't be sending my child off to a place like that. Period.

Beaners_Mom · 11-01-2012, 07:50 AM

I haven't heard anything back from his aunt, I sent the pictures on the 30th & I know she saw them.

We went to the local fire hall last night (was too icky out to go trick-or-treating) and he was there. My daughter is 4 1/2 and he was saying stuff like "you should talk to your mom about letting you sleep over at my house like you're suppose to be doing". So we just left. She doesn't need to hear that stuff. It wasn't the time or the place to talk about that.

I filed the court papers, hopefully we get a court date soon.

Beaners_Mom · 11-28-2012, 07:06 AM

So as an update, sort of, still don't have a court date. I'm not sure what's going on with that. I'm going to call the court office and see if I didn't get a letter or maybe something was misplaced?

He hasn't initiated contact with her, but once, since this happened. He asked to talk to her on Thanksgiving, but other than that hasn't called, asked about her or stopped by. He drops the other kids off at their moms around the corner from where we live (we can literally walk to her house in less than 5 minutes) so it's not like he's too far away. He chooses not to contact her.

She's ran into him twice in the past month. I took her to see the play her sister was in & he was waiting to pick her (my DD's sister) up after the play. He says to my DD "it's mommys fault you can't come over" so I told her "give your dad a hug and let's go". I told him it was not appropriate to say that. Last week my DD was with my friends while I was working & they stopped at the grocery store. He was there. Tells her "talk to your mom about coming over like you're suppose to. Talk to her. She's the reason I don't see you" so my friends told my DD to tell him goodbye and they walked away.

I don't prevent him from seeing her, I'm just following our court order (believe me if the situation were reversed he would do exactly what i'm doing). I think my DD deserves to be in a house that's clean & she deserves to be fed & taken care of while she's there. If he really cared about her, he'd call her or stop by and see her. If he was uncomfortable in my home, we'd make other arraignments such as his sisters house, the library, McDonalds even and he knows that. He'd rather spend all his time making me out to be the bad guy. His loss I guess. My DD is an amazing child

JasmineMama · 11-28-2012, 10:16 AM

That house is horrible. Is there anyway you can ask for a modification like he has to have a cleaner come over every other week and clean? I know not everyone likes to clean so maybe he should outsource? And that there has to be food in the fridge (you get to check) before you drop your DD off.

Beaners_Mom · 11-28-2012, 06:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JasmineMama

That house is horrible. Is there anyway you can ask for a modification like he has to have a cleaner come over every other week and clean? I know not everyone likes to clean so maybe he should outsource? And that there has to be food in the fridge (you get to check) before you drop your DD off.

I plan on asking about the house having the be clean. There's no way he will pay someone to clean it. He's unemployed (and has been for over 2 years) so there's no excuse for the house to be that gross. He has a GF that lives with him, but she works...not that is an excuse not to clean or anything.

As for the food, he has plenty of it usually, he just doesn't give it to the kids. Or he'll have a gallon of milk that expired a month ago in his fridge. I pack a bag of snacks for my DD when she goes over, but that does nothing to help the other kids that live there you know?

crunchymom2b · 12-23-2012, 09:36 PM

any updates mama? I hope things have turned around

**thealmightyme** · 12-24-2012, 09:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by newmommy13

Wow. I feel great about my house now. I would try to get something done about that. Sorry mama.

Same here

mjg2043 · 12-29-2012, 05:12 PM

Not a chance in hell my kids would go there. As soon as I read fly strips in the kitchen I said no to myself. Who cares about the agreement, and why would you want your dd to have a relationship with a man that doesnt care for her or feed her? I feel like continuing the relationship is sending a strange message.

10-31-2012, 02:27 PM	#23
firemommaof1 Registered Users Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: By the Blue Lake Posts: 5,480 Ratings: 458 Feedback: 100% My Mood:	Re: Ex violated our visitation agreement Sorry but those pictures are horrible. I would not let my child near a house like that. CPS and such services are set up for this very reason. Complain. I wouldn't be sending my child off to a place like that. Period. __________________ Sage ~ Married and madly in love with my hottie husband for 10 years Mama to My Awesome Son~ 8/19/03 and My Tiny Dancer DD~ 5/14/07 Sweet Baby Cally 5/23/11

11-01-2012, 07:50 AM	#24
Beaners_Mom Registered Users Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: NY Posts: 1,926 Ratings: 27 Feedback: 100% My Mood:	I haven't heard anything back from his aunt, I sent the pictures on the 30th & I know she saw them. We went to the local fire hall last night (was too icky out to go trick-or-treating) and he was there. My daughter is 4 1/2 and he was saying stuff like "you should talk to your mom about letting you sleep over at my house like you're suppose to be doing". So we just left. She doesn't need to hear that stuff. It wasn't the time or the place to talk about that. I filed the court papers, hopefully we get a court date soon. __________________ Jessica Single Mama to my Gabby K Swagbucks-earn free gift cards and more! $5 Bonus at Ebates Save up to 25% in Cash Back at Over 900 Stores You Shop, Free.

11-28-2012, 07:06 AM	#25
Beaners_Mom Registered Users Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: NY Posts: 1,926 Ratings: 27 Feedback: 100% My Mood:	So as an update, sort of, still don't have a court date. I'm not sure what's going on with that. I'm going to call the court office and see if I didn't get a letter or maybe something was misplaced? He hasn't initiated contact with her, but once, since this happened. He asked to talk to her on Thanksgiving, but other than that hasn't called, asked about her or stopped by. He drops the other kids off at their moms around the corner from where we live (we can literally walk to her house in less than 5 minutes) so it's not like he's too far away. He chooses not to contact her. She's ran into him twice in the past month. I took her to see the play her sister was in & he was waiting to pick her (my DD's sister) up after the play. He says to my DD "it's mommys fault you can't come over" so I told her "give your dad a hug and let's go". I told him it was not appropriate to say that. Last week my DD was with my friends while I was working & they stopped at the grocery store. He was there. Tells her "talk to your mom about coming over like you're suppose to. Talk to her. She's the reason I don't see you" so my friends told my DD to tell him goodbye and they walked away. I don't prevent him from seeing her, I'm just following our court order (believe me if the situation were reversed he would do exactly what i'm doing). I think my DD deserves to be in a house that's clean & she deserves to be fed & taken care of while she's there. If he really cared about her, he'd call her or stop by and see her. If he was uncomfortable in my home, we'd make other arraignments such as his sisters house, the library, McDonalds even and he knows that. He'd rather spend all his time making me out to be the bad guy. His loss I guess. My DD is an amazing child __________________ Jessica Single Mama to my Gabby K Swagbucks-earn free gift cards and more! $5 Bonus at Ebates Save up to 25% in Cash Back at Over 900 Stores You Shop, Free.

11-28-2012, 10:16 AM	#26
JasmineMama Registered Users Join Date: Apr 2011 Posts: 716 Ratings: 7 Feedback: 100% My Mood:	Re: Ex violated our visitation agreement That house is horrible. Is there anyway you can ask for a modification like he has to have a cleaner come over every other week and clean? I know not everyone likes to clean so maybe he should outsource? And that there has to be food in the fridge (you get to check) before you drop your DD off. __________________ Mr. Man (8/09) , Little guy (6/11) and missing my little beans (10/12) (03/13) Super cautiously expecting a rainbow in January 2014.

12-23-2012, 09:36 PM	#28
crunchymom2b Registered Users Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: Springfield, MA Posts: 5,372 Ratings: 176 Feedback: 100% My Mood:	Re: Ex violated our visitation agreement any updates mama? I hope things have turned around __________________ Alycia + Tom = 2 Labor Day babies! Tommy (9/09) + Vinny (9/12) I'm a cop lovin', CDing, BFing & EPing, Co-Sleeping, & ERFing kinda mama! After 8months of EPing with DS1 and 2months EPing with DS2 my little squish is finally EBF!!!! Persistance pays off!