What to do with a toddler who just doesn't care?

[sh0rtchica]

DS is 44 months -he'll be four in March. When we are home and he is naked, he never has an accident. But if he is wearing something - be it a diaper, underwear, or just pants, he pees in it. He poops on the potty every time. I've come to realize he just doesn't care about peeing himself. He just started preschool and I've had to start buying pull-ups for that, but he refuses to use the potty there and even pooped in his pull-up last week (never happened at home). I'm at a bit of a loss. I could really use some advice!

[qsefthuko]

I'm sorry I don't have any advise other than taking him to the bathroom on a schedule. It is the only thing I can think of.

[boysniris]

Mama I'm in the same boat as you except my son is 42 months and he does it ALL in his diaper/undies/clothes, whatever, if he's not naked (he can be wearing a shirt, but nothing on the bottom). I haven't been letting him run around w/o bottoms b/c it's cold now and I don't crank the heat up, and I'm back to washing diapers all the time -- summer was a nice break since he only wore them naps/nights or when we went out.

It stinks. I tried letting him wear undies and just pee himself, but the day I did that when I took him to the potty he refused to take the undies off and peed THROUGH them into the potty. Then we all got sick (the kids for 5 days, now me and DH). So... and I'll be reading here for advice.

I like the idea of taking him to the bathroom on a regular schedule; I'll try it tomorrow!

In the meantime, whenever he talks about going to spend the night at aunties (like his bigger brother) or going to school...anything...I tell him that only boys who wear undies can do that. So, IDK, he's hit a really controlling/temper-tantrum stage and part of me thinks things will improve once he stops being so controlling.

[starbeam]

IDK? but i've heard amazing things about the book oh crap. potty training. maybe check it out?

[Done at 3]

I feel your pain! My DS2 JUST started being able to wear underwear in the house, he's 3 1/2. Honestly, it just clicked for him one day. I tried EVERYTHING! He didn't care in the least about being wet or poopy for that matter, he would just go where he was standing then come and tell me about it. We were driving somewhere and he said "I have to use the toilet" what?!?! That has never happened!!! DH feverishly pulled into the first restaurant we came to, I ran him in, he went in the toilet and that was the end of that!! We can't congratulate him or anything though, he gets really uncomfortable I hope it clicks for your LO soon because I know how frustrating it is!

[strongwoman]

Originally Posted by starbeam IDK? but i've heard amazing things about the book oh crap. potty training. maybe check it out?

I heard about that book, too! I've been thinking of purchasing it but I'd like to train DS2 on my own, just like I did with DS1. I think I just need to commit to training DS2, who will be 2 yo on Jan 1st....

[sh0rtchica]

Thanks everyone! I wonder what a good schedule is for this age? I'm going to need to set a reminder on my phone or something because every time I try to remember on my own it doesn't happen. I keep hoping it'll click for him but so far no luck.

[birdie]

Make him clean up the mess, they get tired of it and won't want to keep doing it. Unless they like cleaning then I guess don't try it. Lol good luck.

[sh0rtchica]

Originally Posted by birdie Make him clean up the mess, they get tired of it and won't want to keep doing it. Unless they like cleaning then I guess don't try it. Lol good luck.

Yeah I tried that too. Even made him get in the shower every time he peed himself and clean himself off. Was too much of a headache for me with the extra laundry, and wasn't really working for him either. I guess I should have expected this process to take long, since he's always been on the longer/later side of "average."

[mom1mg]

Bumping to see if anyone else has ideas.
I am in the same boat - DS3 is 39 months and not interested unless naked.
DD is 22 months and is showing signs now of wanting to go.
Although I don't have it as bad as BFF her son is four and no-where near ready - starting K in Sept though so they REALLY need to get things going.
Ideas are appreciated.