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Old 11-29-2012, 09:16 AM   #11
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Re: HSing Check-In Nov. 25--Dec. 7

Originally Posted by Psychomom View Post
Thank you so much! She was prescribed Zoloft a looong time ago but never took it. I was so uncomfortable with it at the time, especially since on top of anxiety disorder she was being tested for learning disabilities and behavioral disorders. I didn't want to pump her full of drugs (being facetious here) until we knew exactly what was going on. This time, she asked for meds. She has been in counseling on 2 separate occasions, both of which showed no change. She's going again, although she really, really doesn't want to. Her doctor told her she would get out of it what she put into it, so hopefully she will really use this counselor as a resource this time.

Just one example of how high school was difficult for her: her science teacher would let anyone retake a test for a brand new grade (not an averaged grade, and if the 2nd grade turned out worse then she would keep the 1st grade) if they wanted to, so long as it was in the same quarter. (The 2nd test was much harder, but still....) My daughter failed every single test she took and refused to retake any of them because it required her going to her teacher and saying, "I need a seminar pass to retake my test."

Okay, another example: she took a ceramics class and between working on her final project, she would store it in her classroom's cabinet. One day, it was misplaced and she couldn't find it. Rather than going to the teacher and saying, "Hey, my project is gone!" she chose to sit in silence for a week. Her project was finally found and turned in incomplete. She just SAT THERE in class doing nothing that whole time. I was a bit irritated at the teacher for not questioning her when she wasn't working, but it was totally her fault.

She struggles in math. I happen to love math so I thought it would be easy to teach her, but when I homeschooled her before all it did was make me angry. I couldn't understand why SHE couldn't understand. I'd get angry, she'd get frustrated with herself and upset at me; it was ugly. Anyway, lesson learned and I opted to use Teaching Textbooks this time around so I'm out of it. Well, she has a high A right now, but she is so, so, so, so slow and don't forget, this is a subject she's had before.

When I was checking her grades a few nights ago, she was really behind in her lessons. I told her we could either extend the year or she could work extra to get caught up. She chose the latter so now she is to do 2 lessons/day instead of the originally assigned 3-4 lessons/week. This will get her caught up by the end of December. It took her 4 hours to complete 1 lesson yesterday. I have no idea what else she was doing. It took her 2 hours to complete the 2nd lesson and a test. SIX hours to do something that should have take at max, IMO, 1.5 hours, plus some more time for the test. She didn't do any English, any science, etc.

And to add to all the hurdles we already have, I WOH part-time; almost full-time now. I am home with her on Mon, Wed, Fri during the day time, though. On Tue she volunteers and on Thur my dh works from home. Yesterday while she spent from 4pm to 8pm doing 1 math lesson, I wasn't home to supervise because I had to take my younger daughter to dance for 2 hours then work. Oh, and my husband is out of town this week. (The reason she started her school work at 4pm vs. during the day yesterday was because she had 2 doc appts and I ran errands between them, so we weren't home all day.)

She insists she wasn't on Facebook or anything (I did check that, Twitter, and Pinterest for any activity; didn't find any) but that she did text a friend for a "few minutes." I had her come downstairs to do the 2nd math lesson so I could keep a better eye on her while I put the other kids to bed and my husband is going to disable her internet access when she is home, even though she needs it for science. We'll have to figure that one out later.

Thanks for listening, guys. I didn't want to post before because it is a long, drawn out situation and it's tiring to write about, read about, and live.
I was sitting doing math with my guy and I could not stop thinking about your daughter. I hate hearing of teenagers hurting so much and struggling with life. It is just the toughest part of life. Trying to fit in with peers. It seems extra hard with your daughter's anxiety. I tell young girls I mentor to just hold on tight through these years. Just get through them as unsathed as possible.
Does she have someone to talk to? Besides a counselor? Someone who really knows and loves her? A grandma, an older neighbor? Does she talk with you? Are you a safe place for her? Do you have someone to talk with? Is your husband supportive? Can you lean on him during this time? How is your home life? Do you do things together as a family? Do you have fun and laugh together?
I have zero advice to give you. Maybe other mamas can. My oldest is eight so I have not walked the difficult road of having teenagers.
I hope this doesn't offend you...but I am praying for you and your family. Feel free to eye roll. My husband is an atheist and I was one 5 years ago. So I know the prayer thing won't go far. But that is all I can give you. mama.
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