Reply Hey Mom! Learn more about the Gerber Life Insurance Grow-Up Plan!
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 11-29-2012, 08:16 AM   #41
luvof3boyz's Avatar
luvof3boyz
Registered Users
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 833
My Mood:
Re: HSing Check-In Nov. 25--Dec. 7

Quote:
Originally Posted by Psychomom View Post
Thank you so much! She was prescribed Zoloft a looong time ago but never took it. I was so uncomfortable with it at the time, especially since on top of anxiety disorder she was being tested for learning disabilities and behavioral disorders. I didn't want to pump her full of drugs (being facetious here) until we knew exactly what was going on. This time, she asked for meds. She has been in counseling on 2 separate occasions, both of which showed no change. She's going again, although she really, really doesn't want to. Her doctor told her she would get out of it what she put into it, so hopefully she will really use this counselor as a resource this time.

Just one example of how high school was difficult for her: her science teacher would let anyone retake a test for a brand new grade (not an averaged grade, and if the 2nd grade turned out worse then she would keep the 1st grade) if they wanted to, so long as it was in the same quarter. (The 2nd test was much harder, but still....) My daughter failed every single test she took and refused to retake any of them because it required her going to her teacher and saying, "I need a seminar pass to retake my test."

Okay, another example: she took a ceramics class and between working on her final project, she would store it in her classroom's cabinet. One day, it was misplaced and she couldn't find it. Rather than going to the teacher and saying, "Hey, my project is gone!" she chose to sit in silence for a week. Her project was finally found and turned in incomplete. She just SAT THERE in class doing nothing that whole time. I was a bit irritated at the teacher for not questioning her when she wasn't working, but it was totally her fault.

She struggles in math. I happen to love math so I thought it would be easy to teach her, but when I homeschooled her before all it did was make me angry. I couldn't understand why SHE couldn't understand. I'd get angry, she'd get frustrated with herself and upset at me; it was ugly. Anyway, lesson learned and I opted to use Teaching Textbooks this time around so I'm out of it. Well, she has a high A right now, but she is so, so, so, so slow and don't forget, this is a subject she's had before.

When I was checking her grades a few nights ago, she was really behind in her lessons. I told her we could either extend the year or she could work extra to get caught up. She chose the latter so now she is to do 2 lessons/day instead of the originally assigned 3-4 lessons/week. This will get her caught up by the end of December. It took her 4 hours to complete 1 lesson yesterday. I have no idea what else she was doing. It took her 2 hours to complete the 2nd lesson and a test. SIX hours to do something that should have take at max, IMO, 1.5 hours, plus some more time for the test. She didn't do any English, any science, etc.

And to add to all the hurdles we already have, I WOH part-time; almost full-time now. I am home with her on Mon, Wed, Fri during the day time, though. On Tue she volunteers and on Thur my dh works from home. Yesterday while she spent from 4pm to 8pm doing 1 math lesson, I wasn't home to supervise because I had to take my younger daughter to dance for 2 hours then work. Oh, and my husband is out of town this week. (The reason she started her school work at 4pm vs. during the day yesterday was because she had 2 doc appts and I ran errands between them, so we weren't home all day.)

She insists she wasn't on Facebook or anything (I did check that, Twitter, and Pinterest for any activity; didn't find any) but that she did text a friend for a "few minutes." I had her come downstairs to do the 2nd math lesson so I could keep a better eye on her while I put the other kids to bed and my husband is going to disable her internet access when she is home, even though she needs it for science. We'll have to figure that one out later.

Thanks for listening, guys. I didn't want to post before because it is a long, drawn out situation and it's tiring to write about, read about, and live.
I was sitting doing math with my guy and I could not stop thinking about your daughter. I hate hearing of teenagers hurting so much and struggling with life. It is just the toughest part of life. Trying to fit in with peers. It seems extra hard with your daughter's anxiety. I tell young girls I mentor to just hold on tight through these years. Just get through them as unsathed as possible.
Does she have someone to talk to? Besides a counselor? Someone who really knows and loves her? A grandma, an older neighbor? Does she talk with you? Are you a safe place for her? Do you have someone to talk with? Is your husband supportive? Can you lean on him during this time? How is your home life? Do you do things together as a family? Do you have fun and laugh together?
I have zero advice to give you. Maybe other mamas can. My oldest is eight so I have not walked the difficult road of having teenagers.
I hope this doesn't offend you...but I am praying for you and your family. Feel free to eye roll. My husband is an atheist and I was one 5 years ago. So I know the prayer thing won't go far. But that is all I can give you. mama.

Advertisement

luvof3boyz is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-29-2012, 11:27 AM   #42
Psychomom's Avatar
Psychomom
Formerly: Boomer
seller
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Posts: 8,762
My Mood:
Re: HSing Check-In Nov. 25--Dec. 7

Quote:
Originally Posted by luvof3boyz View Post
I was sitting doing math with my guy and I could not stop thinking about your daughter. I hate hearing of teenagers hurting so much and struggling with life. It is just the toughest part of life. Trying to fit in with peers. It seems extra hard with your daughter's anxiety. I tell young girls I mentor to just hold on tight through these years. Just get through them as unsathed as possible.
Does she have someone to talk to? Besides a counselor? Someone who really knows and loves her? A grandma, an older neighbor? Does she talk with you? Are you a safe place for her? Do you have someone to talk with? Is your husband supportive? Can you lean on him during this time? How is your home life? Do you do things together as a family? Do you have fun and laugh together?
I have zero advice to give you. Maybe other mamas can. My oldest is eight so I have not walked the difficult road of having teenagers.
I hope this doesn't offend you...but I am praying for you and your family. Feel free to eye roll. My husband is an atheist and I was one 5 years ago. So I know the prayer thing won't go far. But that is all I can give you. mama.
Okay you are way too sweet and kind to keep thinking of my daughter! I can't ever be offended by prayers, either! Thank you for thinking of us.

As far as her having someone to talk to, I am very, very, very open and frank with her. I never felt like I could talk to my parents about things and I vowed to be the opposite. The problem is, she is an extremely reserved person so I can be as open as I want, but she doesn't respond. Not just to me; to anyone. She is pretty close to my sister and I have told her time and time again she can reach out to her at any time, but she doesn't. She is close to her dad, but still, just a reserved person. All "grown up" talks we have ever had have been initiated by me with no questions, anything from her. I always end with a "please come to me if you think of anything" but she never does, and I always bring it back up into conversation even months down the road just to reiterate things.

We do have a great family life. She loves her 3 siblings dearly, especially the youngest (who is a 6 year old boy.) She has acted like his mother from the time he was born and before he started school, she used to "steal" him out of his bed at night to sleep with him. My oldest and I actually go away for mini-girls weekends together about 3-4 times a year as well. I feel like we have the best relationship that her personality allows us to have. She is a really, really good kid. No teenage drama, etc. At times, she will have just a hint of that teenage attitude in her voice and inside I'm rejoicing because it's a "normal" response. But I think the reason she is that way is so she doesn't draw attention to herself.
__________________
A real woman always has a clean house, an empty laundry basket, smells good, is well made-up, slim, healthy, eloquent, and perfectly well behaved...I suspect I am a man.
Psychomom is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-29-2012, 02:32 PM   #43
jen_batten's Avatar
jen_batten
Registered Users
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 4,462
Re: HSing Check-In Nov. 25--Dec. 7

Psychomom--I'm so sorry for all that you're going through. That sounds rough. I know that your heart must ache for your DD. I wish there was some little nugget of wisdom I could offer you, but I have none. I will listen though if you need someone.

AFU--We did a full day of school this morning which was probably a mistake on my part because I was feeling impatient with the kids. We made it through though and this afternoon we are doing some life skills, making butter, mulching the garden area, hauling/stacking wood, ect. It's so beautiful out today I'd hate to miss the oppurtunity to get some work done outdoors. Plus spending all the excess energy doing constructive things outside means they won't have the energy to run around like crazy when they do come in and hopefully they'll sleep well.
jen_batten is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 11-29-2012, 03:50 PM   #44
3boys_mom
Registered Users
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: PA
Posts: 1,260
Re: HSing Check-In Nov. 25--Dec. 7

Been reading along, but haven't had the chance to log in to post.

Psychomom~I have no advice to offer but I can offer a prayer for you and your daughter. I can't sympathize with the teen as I do no have one yet, although I do feel as though I've experienced some of your turmoil. My oldest son is the same way...left to his own devices he will take for.ev.er to get even the simplest of (school)tasks done. I am forever reminding him that fourth graders should not have to be reminded about x,y,z...the latest being to capitalize the first word in sentences. I mean really...we covered that in what, first grade I believe.

I had asked before for the recap of ages/grades only because it had seemed like a lot of the discussion revolved around K and 1st. It doesn't seem to be going that way as much now.

We've actually managed to have a pretty good week for the most part. Somehow it seems a bunch of tests (different subjects) have hit all at the same time for my oldest, but he's getting through it OK. He will start another chapter book on Monday. This time daddy will be working with him on that. I need a break from it LOL.
__________________
Lyn, wife to Joe, homeschooling mama to JD 12yo, Owen 9yo, Cody 7yo, Aeryn 4yo, Nikki 3yo, and Mason 19m
3boys_mom is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-29-2012, 09:02 PM   #45
thirdtimemomma's Avatar
thirdtimemomma
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Munchkin Land Missouri
Posts: 7,409
My Mood:
Re: HSing Check-In Nov. 25--Dec. 7

Thank u for sharing.. i think your doing a great thing for your daughter. I don't have advice but prayers.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Psychomom View Post
Thank you so much! She was prescribed Zoloft a looong time ago but never took it. I was so uncomfortable with it at the time, especially since on top of anxiety disorder she was being tested for learning disabilities and behavioral disorders. I didn't want to pump her full of drugs (being facetious here) until we knew exactly what was going on. This time, she asked for meds. She has been in counseling on 2 separate occasions, both of which showed no change. She's going again, although she really, really doesn't want to. Her doctor told her she would get out of it what she put into it, so hopefully she will really use this counselor as a resource this time.

Just one example of how high school was difficult for her: her science teacher would let anyone retake a test for a brand new grade (not an averaged grade, and if the 2nd grade turned out worse then she would keep the 1st grade) if they wanted to, so long as it was in the same quarter. (The 2nd test was much harder, but still....) My daughter failed every single test she took and refused to retake any of them because it required her going to her teacher and saying, "I need a seminar pass to retake my test."

Okay, another example: she took a ceramics class and between working on her final project, she would store it in her classroom's cabinet. One day, it was misplaced and she couldn't find it. Rather than going to the teacher and saying, "Hey, my project is gone!" she chose to sit in silence for a week. Her project was finally found and turned in incomplete. She just SAT THERE in class doing nothing that whole time. I was a bit irritated at the teacher for not questioning her when she wasn't working, but it was totally her fault.

She struggles in math. I happen to love math so I thought it would be easy to teach her, but when I homeschooled her before all it did was make me angry. I couldn't understand why SHE couldn't understand. I'd get angry, she'd get frustrated with herself and upset at me; it was ugly. Anyway, lesson learned and I opted to use Teaching Textbooks this time around so I'm out of it. Well, she has a high A right now, but she is so, so, so, so slow and don't forget, this is a subject she's had before.

When I was checking her grades a few nights ago, she was really behind in her lessons. I told her we could either extend the year or she could work extra to get caught up. She chose the latter so now she is to do 2 lessons/day instead of the originally assigned 3-4 lessons/week. This will get her caught up by the end of December. It took her 4 hours to complete 1 lesson yesterday. I have no idea what else she was doing. It took her 2 hours to complete the 2nd lesson and a test. SIX hours to do something that should have take at max, IMO, 1.5 hours, plus some more time for the test. She didn't do any English, any science, etc.

And to add to all the hurdles we already have, I WOH part-time; almost full-time now. I am home with her on Mon, Wed, Fri during the day time, though. On Tue she volunteers and on Thur my dh works from home. Yesterday while she spent from 4pm to 8pm doing 1 math lesson, I wasn't home to supervise because I had to take my younger daughter to dance for 2 hours then work. Oh, and my husband is out of town this week. (The reason she started her school work at 4pm vs. during the day yesterday was because she had 2 doc appts and I ran errands between them, so we weren't home all day.)

She insists she wasn't on Facebook or anything (I did check that, Twitter, and Pinterest for any activity; didn't find any) but that she did text a friend for a "few minutes." I had her come downstairs to do the 2nd math lesson so I could keep a better eye on her while I put the other kids to bed and my husband is going to disable her internet access when she is home, even though she needs it for science. We'll have to figure that one out later.

Thanks for listening, guys. I didn't want to post before because it is a long, drawn out situation and it's tiring to write about, read about, and live.
__________________
Vicki
Wife to 1 SeventhtimeMomma to:
N 7-01, L 12-02, B 7-05, J 2-07, L 12-08, S 10-10, and Q 5-29-12
thirdtimemomma is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-29-2012, 09:03 PM   #46
thirdtimemomma's Avatar
thirdtimemomma
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Munchkin Land Missouri
Posts: 7,409
My Mood:
Re: HSing Check-In Nov. 25--Dec. 7

Today was a breeze again with hsing. That's really rare here. Lol.
__________________
Vicki
Wife to 1 SeventhtimeMomma to:
N 7-01, L 12-02, B 7-05, J 2-07, L 12-08, S 10-10, and Q 5-29-12
thirdtimemomma is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-30-2012, 07:42 AM   #47
thirdtimemomma's Avatar
thirdtimemomma
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Munchkin Land Missouri
Posts: 7,409
My Mood:
Today is Coop day! So we will have some of our together studies to wrap up and then off to Co-op. Co-op is a lot of effort but so far I think its worth it. What's everyone else up to today?
__________________
Vicki
Wife to 1 SeventhtimeMomma to:
N 7-01, L 12-02, B 7-05, J 2-07, L 12-08, S 10-10, and Q 5-29-12
thirdtimemomma is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-30-2012, 08:41 AM   #48
luvof3boyz's Avatar
luvof3boyz
Registered Users
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 833
My Mood:
Re: HSing Check-In Nov. 25--Dec. 7

Quote:
Originally Posted by Psychomom View Post
Okay you are way too sweet and kind to keep thinking of my daughter! I can't ever be offended by prayers, either! Thank you for thinking of us.

As far as her having someone to talk to, I am very, very, very open and frank with her. I never felt like I could talk to my parents about things and I vowed to be the opposite. The problem is, she is an extremely reserved person so I can be as open as I want, but she doesn't respond. Not just to me; to anyone. She is pretty close to my sister and I have told her time and time again she can reach out to her at any time, but she doesn't. She is close to her dad, but still, just a reserved person. All "grown up" talks we have ever had have been initiated by me with no questions, anything from her. I always end with a "please come to me if you think of anything" but she never does, and I always bring it back up into conversation even months down the road just to reiterate things.

We do have a great family life. She loves her 3 siblings dearly, especially the youngest (who is a 6 year old boy.) She has acted like his mother from the time he was born and before he started school, she used to "steal" him out of his bed at night to sleep with him. My oldest and I actually go away for mini-girls weekends together about 3-4 times a year as well. I feel like we have the best relationship that her personality allows us to have. She is a really, really good kid. No teenage drama, etc. At times, she will have just a hint of that teenage attitude in her voice and inside I'm rejoicing because it's a "normal" response. But I think the reason she is that way is so she doesn't draw attention to herself.
You are doing all the right things for your daughter. It seems like she has a lot of things going for her. i.e no teenage rebellion, great home life, people that love and care for her, close relationship with her dad and little brother.

How does she do with your son's class in Tuesday's. If she is willing to spend an entire day with a class of 6 year olds then she has a gift. Maybe working with kids is in her future. Encourage her gifts.

Today we are doing a major overhaul. I will give details later. TGIF everyone.
luvof3boyz is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-30-2012, 08:48 AM   #49
missydawn's Avatar
missydawn
Senior Moderator
sitesupporter
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: NE Ohio
Posts: 6,913
Today is finally Friday. We have been doing pretty good, hubby will be home around 3am after being gone for awhile so it is house clean up day. As far as studies, for our first week I think it went pretty well. I thought by the time we got through the first week some of my nervousness about being able to do this would be gone. I knew my kids would need time to deschool but I never thought I would need the time to do the same. I haven't included anything but reading and math in at the moment. I feel kinda bad about that but then again I remind myself that even in school they didn't get history or science all that much. I am also impressed that my subborn almost five year old is so eager to be a part of it. I just started making copies for dd first grade work and he was been doing that. Well, those are my thoughts for the day.
__________________
Missy
mama of 4
Get $10 at threadUP with me - great, cheap clothes
missydawn is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 11-30-2012, 09:49 AM   #50
Psychomom's Avatar
Psychomom
Formerly: Boomer
seller
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Posts: 8,762
My Mood:
Re: HSing Check-In Nov. 25--Dec. 7

Quote:
Originally Posted by luvof3boyz View Post
How does she do with your son's class in Tuesday's. If she is willing to spend an entire day with a class of 6 year olds then she has a gift. Maybe working with kids is in her future. Encourage her gifts.
She does have a gift. She loves kids in the 4-6 year old range. She would be there every day if she could. She doesn't volunteer in my son's class because she's afraid of his teacher (who is a very sweet woman.) We live in a small town so I have personal friendships with a lot of teachers (i.e. our kids are friends, our kids compete in dance/travel together, go to gymnastics together, etc.) She volunteers in the classroom of a friend of mine.

She was at one time a fabulous gymnast and I think she would be great at teaching a gymnastics class where I work (where she used to compete and still takes a class at)...my boss is always asking when she will be 16 so she can hire her...but my daughter is so scared of having to deal with parents that she won't do it. Maybe with her new med and counseling, by the time she is 16 (next August) she will be ready.

Hope everyone else had a great week!
__________________
A real woman always has a clean house, an empty laundry basket, smells good, is well made-up, slim, healthy, eloquent, and perfectly well behaved...I suspect I am a man.
Psychomom is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

Copyright 2005 - 2014 Escalate Media. All Rights Reserved.