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Old 12-02-2012, 07:39 PM   #291
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Re: Pregnancy After Loss (November)

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Originally Posted by 3 ladybugs View Post
I just hope I don't accidentally double book a doctor somewhere along the way.

I am trying to relax with this pregnancy like I said, but it seems that everything is putting me on edge. Is this really morning sickness? Is it worse then yesterday? Do by boobs feel tender still? Are they bigger? Do I feel stretching in my uterus? or is that just my scar tissue on my bladder from the radiation? Sometimes I just wish that I could be hit over the head with a baseball bat till DH's birthday! (February 25)

Then since I am sure you can all understand this. I was in church this morning and it is the start of Advent. Well I opened the hymnal and just started crying! I felt like my DD JUST died and I remember when I brought a hymnal into her bedside and sang all the christmas songs I knew to her from it. She died on January 5, 2007. All these songs just reminded me of how I was determined to giver her the best life I could even if she couldn't come home.
lol, I can picture myself needing a color coded calendar just for Dr appts!

It's so hard not to over-analyze every little symptom! - is it enough, is it too much, it is less or more than yesterday.

Sounds like it was a hard service, but maybe not a bad one - crying and just letting myself grieve sometimes helps, I've found. There are a few songs that we sing at church that really hit me - just a line or a few words in them that take me right back to the midst of losing Elli. But I let the tears come, let that wave hit me, and then feel better afterwards.

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For the past 5-6 days I've had nausea most of the day. Not exactly a great feeling, but soooo reassuring. Today...NOTHING! Not one single wave of nauseousness. I should be thankful for good-feeling days like today, but I'm not. I hate them. They are terrifying & make me crazy. I just want to fast-forward through the next few weeks & get past all these days that make it difficult to just enjoy being pregnant. I know I could choose to not let these things bother me, but right now I'm just not strong enough to do that.


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AFM: Haven't been feeling the greatest physically for the last week or so. My pelvis, hips and lower back are barely making it through the day. Little miss is so low that I'm sure that's not helping matters any. I've been getting down on all 4s at night to try and stretch out the muscles but it only helps for a little while. I'm not feeling like I'll make it to March at this rate. Heck, 38w (when I delivered my other 2), is looking slim.
that's never a comfortable point in pregnancy and it's too bad that you've hit it sooner rather than later - I'm sure her positioning and low-ness are contributing a ton to the troubles.

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Wiggles ALL day today. And feet in my cervix, haha. I'm gonna do head-stands to get this kid up outta there

I love this wonderful feeling---this kid is a wild child already!

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Old 12-02-2012, 09:56 PM   #292
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I'm so sorry to be the party pooper, but I'm desperate for some reassurance. So I mentioned earlier today that my ms has disappeared...well my exhaustion & breast tenderness is gone too. Zero. Nothing. I haven't felt tired for one second today. I have to wait til Tuesday to find out anything for sure, as my OB's office is closed on Monday. I don't know how I'm going to get through the next 36 hrs without losing my mind.
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Old 12-02-2012, 10:40 PM   #293
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Originally Posted by leviandgarettsmom
I'm so sorry to be the party pooper, but I'm desperate for some reassurance. So I mentioned earlier today that my ms has disappeared...well my exhaustion & breast tenderness is gone too. Zero. Nothing. I haven't felt tired for one second today. I have to wait til Tuesday to find out anything for sure, as my OB's office is closed on Monday. I don't know how I'm going to get through the next 36 hrs without losing my mind.
I had the sudden symptom disappearance a couple of times...luckily the first time I had an appointment the next day for an ultrasound and the 2nd time I was far enough for my Doppler to work (well, mine didn't and hadn't found it for 4 days, so I went to my doc and they used the supercharged one...next day mine found baby and every time since :eye roll.

When my symptoms went way way down this past week (I'm in tri 2 so the placenta took over and I'm off the progesterone suppositories), I freaked!

I am hoping and praying for you---maybe your little one thinks its funny to make mommy crazy. I think this one is gonna be my trouble maker!

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Old 12-03-2012, 05:27 AM   #294
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Re: Pregnancy After Loss (November)

So glad you made it Jennifer! I'm so glad you get to be here and pray baby E will be a healthy take home baby some time in July. I must admit I felt really guilty when my September cycle had worked and yours didn't. ((((Hugs)))) Holidays and hormones really don't mix. I mean I tear up at Advent songs right now and I don't have a December/January loss.

Jamie-the milestone weeks are HARD. FWIW It always helped me to schedule some extra appointments during my milestone weeks and I went as far as going 2x a week between RE and OB this time.

(((Deanna))) Try to take it one day at a time. Praying things are fine.

AFM-still waiting for the hyperemesis to get better. *sigh* Another bad day with needing an IV yesterday. Oh well-it's worth it!!! Did I tell you guys that I got the leave? So at least we're good financially and it takes some worries off my shoulders because my boss will be able to hire a maternity replacement Still a weird feeling that I'll be a SAHM until baby turns 2. But not a bad thing for sure!
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Old 12-03-2012, 05:44 AM   #295
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Re: Pregnancy After Loss (November)

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I remember at church during one of the first services after Jonathan died, the song leader came up to me afterwards and said that when he was picking out which hymns to lead, he was trying to choose between one of two songs (and he also told me what song he did not lead), and thought that the one he chose wouldn't be as hard on me. I told him that either one of them would have been equally hard, b/c they were both the ones that I sang to Jonathan while he was in the NICU.


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Originally Posted by TS8213 View Post
AFM: Haven't been feeling the greatest physically for the last week or so. My pelvis, hips and lower back are barely making it through the day. Little miss is so low that I'm sure that's not helping matters any. I've been getting down on all 4s at night to try and stretch out the muscles but it only helps for a little while. I'm not feeling like I'll make it to March at this rate. Heck, 38w (when I delivered my other 2), is looking slim.
That stinks! What does your doctor say? Is there more that you can do?

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Originally Posted by quicksilverNHS View Post
Wiggles ALL day today. And feet in my cervix, haha. I'm gonna do head-stands to get this kid up outta there

I love this wonderful feeling---this kid is a wild child already!

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How do you know where the feet are? With my son they would always ask me and I would go because I really didn't know! It seemed he was kicking everywhere!

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Originally Posted by canadianbakers View Post
lol, I can picture myself needing a color coded calendar just for Dr appts!

It's so hard not to over-analyze every little symptom! - is it enough, is it too much, it is less or more than yesterday.

Sounds like it was a hard service, but maybe not a bad one - crying and just letting myself grieve sometimes helps, I've found. There are a few songs that we sing at church that really hit me - just a line or a few words in them that take me right back to the midst of losing Elli. But I let the tears come, let that wave hit me, and then feel better afterwards.
My I-phone is a wonderful thing. I can put a event on my computer and it magically appears on my phone and vise-versa! I normally have the big dates always in my head but minor appointments like port flushes or dentist (which I have tomorrow and forgot about) I tend to forget when they are. Port flushes are easy to reschedule even if they are a pain to do (I have to be at the hospital 1 hour away at about 7:30 am so that isn't fun!).

At 6 years out I would think that these events would be farther and farther apart. They are but still it isn't fun to go through. I do have to say though, when DS was about 3-4 months old we showed DS a photo of DD and he acted like he instantly recognized her. It was very moving. So if this is your first pregnancy after a loss like that, you might be in for a surprise when you show the new baby your lost baby.

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Originally Posted by leviandgarettsmom View Post
I'm so sorry to be the party pooper, but I'm desperate for some reassurance. So I mentioned earlier today that my ms has disappeared...well my exhaustion & breast tenderness is gone too. Zero. Nothing. I haven't felt tired for one second today. I have to wait til Tuesday to find out anything for sure, as my OB's office is closed on Monday. I don't know how I'm going to get through the next 36 hrs without losing my mind.
I am sorry your going through this! I hope you woke up today wanting to Can you go to another office today to help ease your mind? Sometimes I think I got the better end of the stick because I have to see an RE to get pregnant. Because of that I am constantly monitored. I hope you are able to have something happen to ease your mind today!

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Originally Posted by ingrid5699 View Post
So glad you made it Jennifer! I'm so glad you get to be here and pray baby E will be a healthy take home baby some time in July. I must admit I felt really guilty when my September cycle had worked and yours didn't. ((((Hugs)))) Holidays and hormones really don't mix. I mean I tear up at Advent songs right now and I don't have a December/January loss.

AFM-still waiting for the hyperemesis to get better. *sigh* Another bad day with needing an IV yesterday. Oh well-it's worth it!!! Did I tell you guys that I got the leave? So at least we're good financially and it takes some worries off my shoulders because my boss will be able to hire a maternity replacement Still a weird feeling that I'll be a SAHM until baby turns 2. But not a bad thing for sure!
You shouldn't have felt guilty. I have a friend IRL that also got pregnant in September with twins. Sometimes it just happens. I think one of the reasons why Emily hanged on as long as she did was because she didn't want me to be sad over the holidays. That is why she died after them. So I need to remember what my little girl wanted.

Glad you got leave! Sorry about the IV. That stinks! I hope you feel better soon!

AFM - I have to go to the doctor today for a blood test so I will ask about my blood test from Friday. Not that it really matters I know I am still pregnant. I had pregnancy diarrhea last night. I didn't know you could get that but Dr. Google says it can happen so I am going to ask about it when I go in today. I like this better then the other way, even though it is a bit alarming when it first happened.
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Old 12-03-2012, 07:05 AM   #296
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Re: Pregnancy After Loss (November)

Every night before I go to bed, I sit in the chair in my kids room. I watch them sleep and say my prayers. Last night as I was sitting there, I felt baby wiggling around in my belly for about 10 minutes. Pure bliss. I'll be 15 weeks on Wed and I don't remember wiggles happening this early with other pregnancies, maybe I'm just more in tune with my body this time. I don't know, but it was really wonderful to feel baby moving around in there.
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Old 12-03-2012, 07:42 AM   #297
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Originally Posted by leviandgarettsmom
I'm so sorry to be the party pooper, but I'm desperate for some reassurance. So I mentioned earlier today that my ms has disappeared...well my exhaustion & breast tenderness is gone too. Zero. Nothing. I haven't felt tired for one second today. I have to wait til Tuesday to find out anything for sure, as my OB's office is closed on Monday. I don't know how I'm going to get through the next 36 hrs without losing my mind.
I had days like this. I didnt have any ms, but my other symptoms would come and go. I would be terrified for two days and then they'd come back. For me, and I hope the case for you, I had a hard time feeling pregnant at all this time and can be thankful for that now, but it was hard, hard, hard. I can remember making symptoms up because I didnt want to worry DH.
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Old 12-03-2012, 07:56 AM   #298
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Re: Pregnancy After Loss (November)

New thread!
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Old 12-03-2012, 08:02 AM   #299
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Re: Pregnancy After Loss (November)

moved to new thread...
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