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Old 12-03-2012, 12:06 PM   #11
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Re: Was anyone else terrified of announcing to family?

I'm excited about telling my ILs since this will be their 1st grandchild and they've been wanting one for years. I'm not excited about what will likely happen afterwards, though. The ILs are terrible about respecting boundaries, respecting our privacy, etc. I expect that to get even worse after the baby comes. DH is really good about talking to them and being firm, but sometimes it takes several talks for them to take us seriously.

My own parents are another story. My mother has a mental illness and that makes everything unpredictable. She might be hostile and vengeful or she might be overjoyed and then go out and spend hundreds of dollars on the baby. Or she might go back and forth between the two. We usually keep a safe distance from her.

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Old 12-03-2012, 12:10 PM   #12
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Re: Was anyone else terrified of announcing to family?

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Originally Posted by ardeur View Post
I'm excited about telling my ILs since this will be their 1st grandchild and they've been wanting one for years. I'm not excited about what will likely happen afterwards, though. The ILs are terrible about respecting boundaries, respecting our privacy, etc. I expect that to get even worse after the baby comes. DH is really good about talking to them and being firm, but sometimes it takes several talks for them to take us seriously.

My own parents are another story. My mother has a mental illness and that makes everything unpredictable. She might be hostile and vengeful or she might be overjoyed and then go out and spend hundreds of dollars on the baby. Or she might go back and forth between the two. We usually keep a safe distance from her.
Thats how they were with our first. FIL would call and ask what happened at dr appointments. I was like, are you for real?! They smothered us after she was born too. I threw a big tantrum and the backed off...for a while.
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Old 12-03-2012, 01:48 PM   #13
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Re: Was anyone else terrified of announcing to family?

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Thats how they were with our first. FIL would call and ask what happened at dr appointments. I was like, are you for real?! They smothered us after she was born too. I threw a big tantrum and the backed off...for a while.
I'm so sorry. :-(

After telling MIL "no" or "please don't do that, we don't like it," she has responded with, "Well I don't care, and I'm sorry about that." It makes your blood boil.
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Old 12-03-2012, 02:46 PM   #14
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Re: Was anyone else terrified of announcing to family?

I was pretty terrified to tell my mom about #1. He was 100% planned, and we had figured out the timing perfectly, it was just sooner than my mom would've expected. We got pregnant at 21 (married at 20), and with 2 quarters left of college to finish. My mom was 43 years old and just NOT ready to become a grandma!

Of course everything worked out fine, and she loves being a grandma, it was just that initial shock.
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Old 12-03-2012, 03:42 PM   #15
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Re: Was anyone else terrified of announcing to family?

Maybe tell through a Christmas card or something of that sort? That way you don't have to tell them face to face if you are really that scared of their response. That way they have time to process the info before you talk to them. We are expecting #5 so I have been a little scared of telling people just b/c of the negative responses I expect from some people and the 'jokes'...GL!
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