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Old 12-04-2012, 01:15 PM   #71
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I don't bathe with my boys, but I do shower with my 10 year old DD. She refuses to bathe herself though, so if I want her to be clean I have to help her, and it's hard when I'm not in there with her since we have glass doors on the shower/tub. I'll keep helping her until she's uncomfortable with it.


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Old 12-04-2012, 01:40 PM   #72
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Re: At what age is it not appropriate?

In the past we have stopped being naked around them when they hit 4. That's about the age when DS #2 started with, "Mommy, I can see your GYNA!!!!!" Yep, that was the end of it.

ETA: But the boys are naked around each other all of the time. They take showers together, etc.
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Old 12-04-2012, 01:53 PM   #73
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Re: At what age is it not appropriate?

My mom made me feel really weird about nudity growing up. It took me long into my adult life to realize it was HER issue, and wasn't normal. She has very low self esteem and a very skewed body image, and so ANY nudity to her gross or sexual somehow.

I actually didn't even know until I got married that two people could be naked in the same room without something sexual going on. Seriously. Nakedness was always equated to sexuality in my house growing up. So you kept clothes on ALL the time, unless you were in the shower.

As a result of that, I have to work really hard to have a balanced view of nudity and privacy and self-respect for our bodies, to be able to teach my kids in a better way than I was taught.

My DD will be 6 next month and she loves to shower with me. She likes to draw on the shower door. She likes to talk to my belly. She asks me any questions about our bodies, any differences she notices or similarities. I think this is a GOOD thing b/c it encourages normal, open, honest communication about our bodies, and shows there's nothing gross about being naked. Also sets a good example of how to wash yourself/proper hygiene, etc.

At the same time, my 4 y/o DS gawks at my breasts, and says "EEEEW!" when he sees me naked. So I am not naked around him ever anymore. But he will still shower with his Dad sometimes. I think it's good for him to do that for the same reasons it is good for DD to shower with me.

Guess I should add, I do bathe the 20 mo old (YDD) with my 4 y/o DS sometimes. I think it's different for him to see a naked baby than a naked woman. And he doesn't think it's gross, so it must be different in his mind, too.

I don't ever care if my kids see glimpses of nakedness for things that are medical or culturally related, but I do not let them watch things that involve nudity in a sexual manner.

So, an example: My dad was watching Idiot Abroad and the guy was in some remote African village where the men wore loin cloths that only covered the front, but didn't cover anything on the back. He had to jump off some platform or something. My mom was crapping a brick over it, trying to cover the kid's faces. I told her it's ok, it's just a difference in how they live. It's not a big deal. She had to leave the room b/c she was really upset. That type of nudity is not something that bothers me. Now if they were having some sort of sexual rite of passage, my kids wouldn't be allowed to see that.

OP, I think your question involves a lot more than just a black and white "what age" I think it depends a whole whole lot on personal feelings on nudity/modesty and personal boundaries.

Last edited by Kiliki; 12-04-2012 at 01:58 PM.
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Old 12-04-2012, 01:57 PM   #74
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I don't think there is an age. I think whatever parent and child are comfy with. And different cultures look at nudity differently
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Old 12-04-2012, 02:10 PM   #75
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Re: At what age is it not appropriate?

My kids will still wander in when I am changing (oldest is dd 8) and they don't think anything of it. no one is bothered by it yet so it hasn't been an issue-once anyone is uncomfortable though then I think we need to adjust the rules. Our kids don't have a lot of modesty yet though, at least not around us (more so others)

I kind of disagree with the notion than when they start asking questions or pointing out differences they can no longer see you naked-sends the wrong message to me. Kind of like telling them the questions were wrong or it is not okay to talk about these things. Around age 2 or 3 our kids all noticed differences and asked about it-we answered them honestly and that was the end of that-no more questions. I don't wander around without clothes on but if they happen to barge in the room when I am changing I don't scream and duck for cover.
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