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Old 12-08-2012, 11:20 AM   #1
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How long did you co-sleep for?

We've been bed-sharing with our 3 year old since he was roughly 6 months old and our newbie was added to the mix when he came home at 3 weeks old. We have a king bed though it's still cramped, its nice being all together. I feel ready to have the 3 year old in a bed in our room (he has a twin bed in the boys' bedroom) but DF does not. He likes knowing exactly where they are and having them within arms reach heaven forbid something were to happen. Overall I enjoy co-sleeping.

The subject came up with my therapist yesterday and she went into this big shpiel about how we really should get them out of the bed, we're setting them up for a lifetime of sleep issues, they'll never be able to sleep alone yadda yadda. I said "well its not like they'll still be co-sleeping when they go to college" and of course she told me about someone she knows who's 12 and still in the parents' bed. IMO if you want a 12 yaer old out of your bed, you get them out of your bed. I figured it would be easier (though not super easy) to get a 5 yaer old into their own bed, especially if their little brother goes too then to try with a tantrum loving 3 year old. long did you cosleep for and how did youtransition to their own bed when the time came?



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Old 12-08-2012, 11:57 AM   #2
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Lol about the 12 year old! But there are some situations where I think that would work for the family and not be strange at all. Just because she can give one outlying example doesn't make it the norm!

I cosleep with our 15 month old in a twin bed in her room. My husband can't handle the sleep disturbance, is a loud snorer, and doesn't share well lol. I'm ready for her to sleep alone whenever she is, but it won't be for a while I don't think.

If it is working for your family I don't see the problem. I don't think your therapist should be making blanket statements about cosleeping based on personal beliefs, but rather guide you in making the right decision for YOUR family.

I don't understand how it is creating "A lifetime of sleep issues" when most of us cosleep with our partners as adults, and a few generations ago sharing a bed with family (parents or siblings) was the norm and still is in many cultures.
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Old 12-08-2012, 12:07 PM   #3
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We coslept for 9 months until my son stopped sleeping well in bed with us. He transitioned really easy.
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Old 12-08-2012, 12:18 PM   #4
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Re: How long did you co-sleep for?

About 6 months with each. My little brother slept with my parents until he was 7 then moved to the floor by their bed. He is 20 now and has a lot of problems sleeping in his room. He moves to the bedroom couch and wakes up frequently. My parents always joke he is why we don't have anymore siblings.
I sleep best with my babies until they are rolling over and sitting up then I feel like a crib is the safest because I don't always want to have to be in bed with them and because we travel a lot and need them to be able to sleep in other places without us.
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Old 12-08-2012, 12:22 PM   #5
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Re: How long did you co-sleep for?

With my oldest, we co-slept for portions of the night, but not all of it. She transitioned well around 18 months when she was almost weaned and sleeping through the night.

My second born co-slept for much (but not all) of the night until about 13 months, and then he started sleeping through the night in his crib.

My third born co-slept (with either a co-sleeper or crib right next to the bed and/or in the bed next to me) until she was 17 months. Then she started waking me up every 30 minutes to nurse for about a week before I decided that I needed to night wean her and put her in her crib (in a room with her sister). She didn't like it at first, but adjusted pretty quickly and now she sleeps fine.
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Old 12-08-2012, 12:22 PM   #6
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9 months both I'm no help.

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Old 12-08-2012, 12:22 PM   #7
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We are currently co-sleeping with our 2.5 year old and our 10 month old and no immediate plans to change things. I think we'll wait until they can sleep together cause I think that might make the transition easier.

In regards to the idea of "setting kids up for sleep problems" I just can't see how... My parents co-slept with myself and my siblings until we were ready to sleep on our own and I never had any sleep issues....

I agree that you should continue doing what is right for your family. Every family and every kid is different only you can know when it is the right moment for you to make that transition... I thought a therapists job was to help you make the right decisions for yourself not to be spouting their own opinions about how you chooses to raise your family...
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Old 12-08-2012, 12:23 PM   #8
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I just last week moved my 6 and 8 year olds back into their own rooms.

They have been in and out for years depending On our needs at that time.

Most recently they had been sleeping with me almost a year. Since dd2 was born.

They generally sleep exclusively with me until 3-4
When I had all 4 sleeping with me I had a queen a double and a single all in one room.

It only becomes a " problem" when someone decides before the child is ready that they are done with cosleeping.
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Old 12-08-2012, 12:33 PM   #9
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Re: How long did you co-sleep for?

ds1 was around 2, ds2 3.5, dd is almost 3 and she still ends up in our bed most nights but she's had her own bed since she was 15 months
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Old 12-08-2012, 12:35 PM   #10
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Re: How long did you co-sleep for?

my older boys sleep really well. they go to bed without any issues (like getting up constantly asking for stuff, pretending to go pee etc) and sleep all night.
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