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Old 08-15-2007, 06:03 AM   #1
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Help me with living situation! Please!

*also posted in OT disscusion board*
So I will try to make this as short as possible. Dh and I have an extrememly strange living situation. We are young (20/19). Well for one week we stay with my parents, then we go and stay at his parents house for a week. Its horrible!!! I HATE it with a capitol H. Every week I have to pack up diapers, vitamins, cloths dd needs and or I want her to wear, my computer and school stuff.... and move. It is so akward talking to people too when they ask me where I live Anyway we are doing it so no ones family feels jealous or what have you because we spend more time with one or the other. (this makes me feel like they are all being selfish) DH really really doesnt like my mom, and personally Im not crazy about his either. She is great sometimes but she hits the bottle too much for my comfort, and I really dont like me or dd to be around that. Not to mention dh is the oldest of 5 so there is no privacy! My mom is posessive and super clingy and annoying. So my parents have an apartment in their house, and it is only 1 bedroom. The lady who lives there has a 13 yo son who is moving back into town (is currently with his dad) and she needs a bigger place and is going to be moving. We dont need more than 1 bedroom at the moment since we are still co-sleeping anyway. I absolutely love the idea of being in the apartment, it will be our own space and for FREE! I want it so bad I could cry DH doesnt want to move into it though because he thinks my mom will still act the way she does (all posessive etc) Am I silly to be thinking that this is the best solution, and a good compromise? Its a free apartment! The downsides is that it is far away from our school (about 10 miles or so) and farther away from dh's work than his parents house. I have basically said that I canNOT do this whole back and forth stuff anymore. I feel like it is going to be detromental to dd too Am I crazy to think that? No one else seems to think that switching houses every week makes a diffrence to her but I think it does! I am so sorry this is so long I just need some more input, advice, anything! Its 4am (ak time) and I have been laying awake all night stressing about this! What would be the best solution, and is switching houses so much going to be negative for dd if its continued! Please help

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Old 08-15-2007, 12:31 PM   #2
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Re: Help me with living situation! Please!

So both sets of parents actually want you, your DH and your DD to live with them? I would say that's unusual...I would take the apartment. It's time to be an adult, on your own. You are married and you now have to make your DH and DD your first priority, and move your mom's wishes down the list. You may have to severly limit contact with her if she's going to be posessive and unrealistic. She needs to realize you're a married mother now, and not her little girl. I'm sure all that is easier said than done, but it's probably got to be done if you have a shot at a good, lasting marriage.
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Old 08-15-2007, 03:10 PM   #3
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Re: Help me with living situation! Please!

Thanks for your reply, I have decided to just put my foot down, stay in the apt and set some realistic yet firm rules for my mom. I feel like my mom needs to get over being clingy and DH needs to get over his bad feelings for her, because I really feel like this is what would be best for dd.
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Old 08-15-2007, 03:32 PM   #4
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Re: Help me with living situation! Please!

Take the apartment. It's best for all of you. DH needs to get over it. I know, easier said than done, I have an extreme mama's boy DH too, thank God, his mom lives 8 hours away.
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