Reply Hey Mom! Learn more about the Gerber Life Insurance Grow-Up Plan!
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 12-10-2012, 11:03 AM   #21
mcpforever's Avatar
mcpforever
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Bama
Posts: 11,738
My Mood:
Re: I need ideas for the proper punishment for 11 y/o for lying

Quote:
Originally Posted by cdeweese View Post
I agree with previous posters about no unsupervised time, period. Pick an amount of time that you know what you can be available 24/7 (a week, etc). Just remember that means you're grounded too lol! I know a lot of parents will hand out punishments without realizing how much it will impact themselves, then not follow through. It sounds like she's a good girl just being a preteen
I wanted to address this as I make it a point to ensure that my child's consequences don't inadvertantly punish ME. The idea is that the kid follows me around instead of me hovering over him. He doesn't get to do anything unless it fits into my schedule of housework and leisure.

Here's an example of how it has worked with us:
Wake time I walk into his room and tell him to pull his clothes out and bring them with him to my room. He gets dressed in my room while I get myself dressed and ready. He brushes his teeth next to me while I brush mine. When I'm ready to go downstairs, he has to go as well, whether or not he's managed to fully clothe himself. He can bring his socks with him and finish up. He has to stay in the kitchen with me and get breakfast ready. Then he has to stay once he's done while I finish making lunches, snacks, and eating my breakfast. He doesn't get to go down to the car ahead of me with his siblings. He has to wait for me to put on my jacket and start the dishwasher.

If he complains about boredom, I hand him a broom or dishrag and put him to work. If a younger sibling needs my attention during this process (let's say my 4yo poops and needs help), he has to put down whatever he's doing (sweeping, eating, ) and follow me. If he needs to toilet, he has to wait until I get to a stopping place and I will stand outside the open door. If he has a chore to do, he has to wait until I happen to go where he needs to be to do it.

Advertisement

__________________
Melissa-Wife, mother to DS 4/02 and DD 4/07, DS 7/08 DD 7/13
ISO: my lost shaker of salt

Last edited by mcpforever; 12-10-2012 at 11:04 AM.
mcpforever is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-10-2012, 11:17 AM   #22
trying4more's Avatar
trying4more
Registered Users
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: North. Bay Area, Cali.
Posts: 9,526
My Mood:
Re: I need ideas for the proper punishment for 11 y/o for lying

My 7 year old is doing a lot of "lying", but mostly it's saying she did her chore, only to find out, she threw it in a closet, or on her bedroom floor. She mainly will half-a$$ do something, but tell me she did it.
I try to have simple conversations about trust, and if I can't trust them at home, how can I know they are being safe when they aren't with me (My kids aren't there yet).

I think the shaving is a preteen thing. Talk to her about it. Why she wants to shave, who gave her the idea, what does it mean to have hairless legs...ect.

I also agree with previous posters, she needs to be your shadow until she can follow through with her own words. She needs to take accountability and responsibility for her own actions.
__________________
Ariana Armando
{M.o3'} {E.o5'} {C.o9'} {S.12'} {D.14'}
.o8 .13
trying4more is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-10-2012, 12:46 PM   #23
BESMama's Avatar
BESMama
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Crystal Lake, IL
Posts: 1,288
My Mood:
Re: I need ideas for the proper punishment for 11 y/o for lying

The worst punishment my 10 year old has ever gotten, according to her, was having to say no to a birthday party invitation (she goes to a school that is not close to our house, so getting to see school friends outside of school is a big deal). I agree that at this age, missing an opportunity to hang out with friends, whether it is an after school activity or social gathering a severe punishment to them.
__________________
ISO: FCOL boy shirts and MM Woodland Tale yarn
BESMama is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-10-2012, 05:28 PM   #24
Michelle_M's Avatar
Michelle_M
Registered Users
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Arlington, Tx
Posts: 15,899
My Mood:
Re: I need ideas for the proper punishment for 11 y/o for lying

Quote:
Originally Posted by mcpforever View Post
I wanted to address this as I make it a point to ensure that my child's consequences don't inadvertantly punish ME. The idea is that the kid follows me around instead of me hovering over him. He doesn't get to do anything unless it fits into my schedule of housework and leisure.

Here's an example of how it has worked with us:
Wake time I walk into his room and tell him to pull his clothes out and bring them with him to my room. He gets dressed in my room while I get myself dressed and ready. He brushes his teeth next to me while I brush mine. When I'm ready to go downstairs, he has to go as well, whether or not he's managed to fully clothe himself. He can bring his socks with him and finish up. He has to stay in the kitchen with me and get breakfast ready. Then he has to stay once he's done while I finish making lunches, snacks, and eating my breakfast. He doesn't get to go down to the car ahead of me with his siblings. He has to wait for me to put on my jacket and start the dishwasher.

If he complains about boredom, I hand him a broom or dishrag and put him to work. If a younger sibling needs my attention during this process (let's say my 4yo poops and needs help), he has to put down whatever he's doing (sweeping, eating, ) and follow me. If he needs to toilet, he has to wait until I get to a stopping place and I will stand outside the open door. If he has a chore to do, he has to wait until I happen to go where he needs to be to do it.
I'm TOTALLY filing this away for future reference. I LOVE how inconvenienced the child will feel and hopefully learn. Awesome punishment idea!

God bless!
__________________
Christian wife to my hubby, mamma to three little men and a little lady!

Send a custom greeting card from Just Because Stationery!Because you don't need a reason to show you care. Caring is reason enough!!!
Michelle_M is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

Copyright 2005 - 2014 Escalate Media. All Rights Reserved.