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Old 12-13-2012, 06:30 AM   #11
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I left a wonderful job that I loved to be home with my children.

I have heard many women say that they regret that they didn't stay home with their children. I've never once heard a mother say she regretted that she was home.

You only get one chance at this. It is totally worth the sacrifices.
This is the darn truth!

Eta: I didn't think of all those little questions - we have job security and bills are paid on one income. I do direct sales and bring in a small bit of extra money but I knew I would regret not staying home. Babies are little for only so long. I still get some adult interaction but I don't need tons. I figure all of those pesky questions are secondary to my babies.

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Old 12-13-2012, 10:41 AM   #12
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Re: Quitting a great job to stay home

Hmmm.... some good questions posted. I, however have a different take on it. Tomorrows are never guaranteed, so I focus on the todays. Today, my children are young. Tomorrow they will be grown and have families of their own. I choose to stay at home with my children and give them my today. I will worry about the tomorrows when they become the todays.
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Old 12-13-2012, 10:41 AM   #13
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Re: Quitting a great job to stay home

Hmmm.... some good questions posted. I, however have a different take on it. Tomorrows are never guaranteed, so I focus on the todays. Today, my children are young. Tomorrow they will be grown and have families of their own. I choose to stay at home with my children and give them my today. I will worry about the tomorrows when they become the todays.
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Old 12-13-2012, 11:05 AM   #14
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You should also consider what you will do when the children are in school or grown.

How will you remain competitive in the job market? Will you need to go back for a degree?

How will it impact your retirement? Obviously your employer match will disappear as will your contribution. Will you be able to contribute to a Roth? Your SS retirement calculation is determined, in part, by your top earning 35 of years in the workforce. A few years of $0 earnings will negatively impact it.

What kinds of adult interaction will you plan for yourself to stay sane? Can you afford those costs?

Does your employer offer other benefits (health ins, life ins, tuition remission) that you will be giving up? Does DH have an equivalent?

Do you have savings in case DH is laid off? How likely is that? Teaching is not a secure profession in my area.

Is there a way to adjust your current work schedule to be more enjoyable? Example, only check voicemail and e-mail at 8am, 12pm, and 5pm on your days off. Use the out-of-office feature on your work e-mail. Block your calendar on your days off so you cannot be scheduled for a meeting. Teach someone else how to handle particularly recurrent, emergent or annoying situations. Leave typed instructions on how to handle problems. Negotiate for more vacation time or less weekly hours. A lot of this depends on your company and type of work.

I am in a similar position but cannot come to terms with giving up the security of a second job, benefits, and professional fulfillment that it brings. Obviously, this is a very personal decision.
big yes to all this. My friends who is a sahm is constantly telling me that if I just need health insurance I should quite my career and work at Starbucks once a week. What she totally doesn't get is that I want a career after my baby is older too! How could I possibly compete in five years if I left my field to stay home and work once a week at Starbucks? And she also says "no one ever regrets working less" and that's a nice sentiment, but it isn't necessarily so. I regret not working harder I'm school and getting an advanced degree. If my hubby has to work twice as much and never see his family so I can stay home I would probably feel regret. If I can't send my child to the school of our choice because we can't afford it, I would probably feel regret. And if in five years Starbucks is the only place that wants to hire me I would definitely feel some regret. I'm not saying that regret would be more than the joy I might have staying home, but I find it sexist to think a mom would never have professional regrets. I know I have been passed over for a big account at my job because I work on a flexible schedule, and sometimes I feel regret. But it's a trade off.

I have negotiated a four day work week and I love it. Sometimes I think I should quit, but after a long weekend I practically fly to the front door to let in the nanny. I need both family and professional satisfaction, and I think I'm a much better mom this way. our baby and nanny have a wonderful relationship, she is teaching him a foreign language and gives him lots of love and attention. Sure, she isn't mom, but I don't think he is missing out on something magical. It's just different.
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Old 12-13-2012, 11:25 AM   #15
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Re: Quitting a great job to stay home

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big yes to all this. My friends who is a sahm is constantly telling me that if I just need health insurance I should quite my career and work at Starbucks once a week. What she totally doesn't get is that I want a career after my baby is older too! How could I possibly compete in five years if I left my field to stay home and work once a week at Starbucks? And she also says "no one ever regrets working less" and that's a nice sentiment, but it isn't necessarily so. I regret not working harder I'm school and getting an advanced degree. If my hubby has to work twice as much and never see his family so I can stay home I would probably feel regret. If I can't send my child to the school of our choice because we can't afford it, I would probably feel regret. And if in five years Starbucks is the only place that wants to hire me I would definitely feel some regret. I'm not saying that regret would be more than the joy I might have staying home, but I find it sexist to think a mom would never have professional regrets. I know I have been passed over for a big account at my job because I work on a flexible schedule, and sometimes I feel regret. But it's a trade off.
Big yes to this. The time when kids are young is short and precious, but these are decisions with loooong term consequences. I think it's important to have an "exit plan" in place, whether you're currently employed or SAH.

I'm all for fighting the good fight with employers to make the workplace more family friendly for all employees, hoping that my daughter won't have to make the same tough decisions.
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Old 12-13-2012, 03:02 PM   #16
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Re: Quitting a great job to stay home

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Originally Posted by threekstrio View Post
I left a wonderful job that I loved to be home with my children.

I have heard many women say that they regret that they didn't stay home with their children. I've never once heard a mother say she regretted that she was home.

You only get one chance at this. It is totally worth the sacrifices.

I agree!
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Old 12-13-2012, 03:28 PM   #17
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Re: Quitting a great job to stay home

I left a great job I had been at for 8 years to stay home with my kids. Think quaterly bonuses where they just hand you an extra paycheck. sigh. It was tough financially. But I really looked at it as a sacrifice to stay home with them. We went without a lot and are still recovering finacially even though I've been back to working for over a year.

It wasn't really too hard for me to jump back into the work force. I actually fell into this job before I was 100 percent ready to go back to work.

While I was home it became my job to find ways to make ends meet. Whatever it took. Stretching the money to last twice as long as it ever had before, baby sitting, finding sales, using coupons, cloth everything, whatever I had to do. I considered it part of my stay at home workload.
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Old 12-16-2012, 06:50 PM   #18
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Re: Quitting a great job to stay home

It's funny, because I've been a SAHM since DS1 was born, but have always felt I needed something 'more'. My identity was too wrapped up in being a SAHM & although I love my kids, being home with them all day, everyday just isn't enough for me to feel fulfilled in my life. I know it's the most important role I'll ever have [mom] but I have to have other roles to keep me content.

Just a little less than two months ago I kind of accidentally started a career as a graphic designer. All freelance. All of a sudden I'm working 30 hours a week and working on a variety of projects and feeling wonderful about embarking on something new. After 4 years of being home with my kiddos, it's really nice to have something more & something that I love.

The grass is always greener, isn't it?
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Old 12-16-2012, 09:25 PM   #19
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Re: Quitting a great job to stay home

Both my cousins with high paying jobs both left them to be SAHM's. One was a lawyer in a big city law firm. The other was a traffic reporter. They both say it was a good choice for their children because you can't buy the happiness and smiles you miss while at work.
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