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Old 12-25-2012, 12:59 PM   #21
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Re: Bridesmaid while breastfeeding - am I stressing for nothing.

I would be worried about it too.
I think it depends on the dress. I'd have to try it on to know if there was a chance of me being able to nurse in it or not. And if I can't nurse, then I'm not wearing it. So either the bride bends a little and agrees to a similar dress that allows nursing, or I guess I won't be a bridesmaid. Or I wear the dress only for the ceremony and a quick picture or two, then change into something that makes my boobs accessible. Or the dress would be easy to nurse in, so it might not even be a problem.

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Old 12-25-2012, 03:45 PM   #22
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Re: Bridesmaid while breastfeeding - am I stressing for nothing.

Thanks for all the replies. I tend to be someone who expects the worst. My daughter wouldn't take a bottle and pumping took forever, plus the baby is still so young, so it's not really something I want to do. I do like the suggestions of altering the dress, zippers at the side or two piece. We have a family friend who's a seamstress and is amazing so I"m sure she could help me. And it's a good idea about bringing something to change into. That would make the reception a lot more bearable. I think I'll be a little more insistent on straps. I'm very modest and I really don't want to be flashing everyone, especially bending down to take care of my toddler. Plus I leak a lot if there isn't pressure against my boobs. I was a size D with nursing my daughter but I needed support against my other boob when nursing so I didn't soak my shirt. Ring sling is a great idea too. I really don't like being in weddings in the first place so that's part of my frustration.
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Old 12-25-2012, 11:10 PM   #23
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Re: Bridesmaid while breastfeeding - am I stressing for nothing.

take a deep breath you can do it!

I had to take off my dress to nurse (truthfully, I decided that was easiest and fastest) and stuffed pads in a strapless (the bodice had ribs and was fitted beautifully for support-- I had ribs put in my strapless by my seamstress- her idea and it was great! best 5 bucks spent- strapless also hooked to my dress). I had to use a huge closet at the winery because I needed to feed right before the ceremony-- lol- DH stood at the door just to let people know-- the people in the kitchen were great! Clean, large, no distractions was my choice... couldn't find any place I liked better-- I'm not a bathroom nurser (personal preference). DH had me back in the dress in a flash and whisked away the boy.
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Old 12-26-2012, 08:12 AM   #24
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Re: Bridesmaid while breastfeeding - am I stressing for nothing.

I wouldn't even attend a wedding with an 8 week old, yet alone be in one! Babies can be so sensitive at that age and I wouldn't want to ruin someone's party due to a crying baby. It is going to be overstimulating, with the music and number of people.

Can it be done, sure, but I wouldn't plan on it. What if your baby arrives early and is in the nicu? What if they arrive late and you're still bleeding? What if you have an emergency c-section? What about a painful prolapse, stitches, etc.? What if your baby is colic-y, ill, etc.? I wouldn't want to cancel on anyone last minute. How would they feel if you left during the middle of the ceremony because you had to nurse your baby? That would be a HUGE interruption! I would also personally plan on only staying at the reception an hour or two, how would that look?

I would kindly decline and say that my attendance at the ceremony is also not guaranteed but that you'll try. I use all the time up until about my baby is 3-4 months to catch up on extra sleep and really rest and get to know my baby. Only you know what is best for you and your family.

Truly be kind if you tell your brother that it just isn't doable. Pull the, "when you have kids, you will understand" card.
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Old 12-26-2012, 08:57 AM   #25
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tibeca
I wouldn't even attend a wedding with an 8 week old, yet alone be in one! Babies can be so sensitive at that age and I wouldn't want to ruin someone's party due to a crying baby. It is going to be overstimulating, with the music and number of people.

Can it be done, sure, but I wouldn't plan on it. What if your baby arrives early and is in the nicu? What if they arrive late and you're still bleeding? What if you have an emergency c-section? What about a painful prolapse, stitches, etc.? What if your baby is colic-y, ill, etc.? I wouldn't want to cancel on anyone last minute. How would they feel if you left during the middle of the ceremony because you had to nurse your baby? That would be a HUGE interruption! I would also personally plan on only staying at the reception an hour or two, how would that look?

I would kindly decline and say that my attendance at the ceremony is also not guaranteed but that you'll try. I use all the time up until about my baby is 3-4 months to catch up on extra sleep and really rest and get to know my baby. Only you know what is best for you and your family.

Truly be kind if you tell your brother that it just isn't doable. Pull the, "when you have kids, you will understand" card.
Even your brothers wedding??? I would think hopefully your DH could step out of baby was fussy? I'd talk to the bride/groom. See if a solution can happen before bowing out. It's your brother!!!
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Old 12-26-2012, 09:17 AM   #26
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Re: Bridesmaid while breastfeeding - am I stressing for nothing.

Attending is one thing, but being in the actual wedding is entirely different. The amount of responsibilities being in the wedding are huge. If mom and baby are doing good, then it should be fine to sit in the back. Just be prepared to leave if little one decides to be noisy. I agree with Tibeca on the reception. My family has very quiet, subdued receptions, but most are very loud with lots of movement and talking. A newborn would not be able to handle all that noise very well. As a bridesmaid, it will not look very nice to leave early during the reception when there are toasts and speeches. Plus if you are not feeling well or have had complications with the birth that are still healing.

Do what you can, but don't push yourself too much. You and baby will need time after the birth to get use to the new world.
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Old 12-26-2012, 11:04 AM   #27
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Re: Bridesmaid while breastfeeding - am I stressing for nothing.

Quote:
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Even your brothers wedding??? I would think hopefully your DH could step out of baby was fussy? I'd talk to the bride/groom. See if a solution can happen before bowing out. It's your brother!!!
Attending my brother's wedding (or most family functions) would require travel of over 1000 miles with 3+ kids, so if I had just had a baby, I probably would not attend. We live 1000+ miles from all of our family, so it is all me, all the time. Honestly, I always send nice gifts (I can afford to since there would be no airfare, hotel stay and food expenses) and excuse my husband children and I from most family functions.

I do my best to arrange for 1 vacation to see family every other year, but that is our life situation.
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Old 12-26-2012, 12:23 PM   #28
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This is me actually :/ I'm going to
Michigan from Cali in July with 3 kids. 6,4,7 months. Just to make it my brothers wedding. I have to go. It's something I could never imagine missing. But my siblings and I are terribly close. And we are all dying to see the new nieces/nephews so it's a family reunion as well. Idk. I never even thought of but being in my sisters wedding 5 weeks postpartum. It worked out just fine. I however never even considered not doing it. Since you are hesitant, op, perhaps reading your own inner emotions is best.
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Old 12-26-2012, 12:32 PM   #29
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Re: Bridesmaid while breastfeeding - am I stressing for nothing.

I don't think you should HAVE to be a bridesmaid if you don't want to. Politely decline and enjoy the day.
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Old 12-26-2012, 12:37 PM   #30
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Re: Bridesmaid while breastfeeding - am I stressing for nothing.

I've been a bridesmaid three (maybe four?) times while nursing and they were all strapless dresses, some of them were when my little ones were really little too. It can be a pain, but you will manage. You will just have to roll with things the day of, and take any free moment you can to focus on baby in case you are needed soon thereafter for bridesmaid duties. Good luck, have fun.
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