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Old 12-26-2012, 03:41 PM   #11
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I don't think I'd move my family to an apartment but I would certainly look to move to a cheaper area (more country perhaps), cheaper mortgage may outweigh gas increases. Have you ever tried to calculate what you spend on childcare, takeout, gas, work clothes, etc. I think working is typically more expensive than a lot of people realize.

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Old 12-26-2012, 03:48 PM   #12
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Re: What Lengths Have You/Would You Go To To Stay Home?

I wanted to stay home but my husband was not convinced we could afford it. We learned to live on his income and saved my income for a little over a year until my son was 13 months old. Then we had a huge chunk of money for a down payment on a house. We moved into a cheaper area in the middle of no where and my husband commutes so I can stay home. His commute is 35 min to 1 hour each way. It was so worth it, working was stressing me out and I love staying home with my son. We definitely made sacrifices and no one thought we could do it or afford it. I made good money, more money than DH (he resented this a little anyways), it was a tough decision to quit, but it was the right one. I miss the money, but I love my family more. We have preconceived ideas of what we need or want when in reality we could live on a lot less and be happy. Even now, we have more than enough, we are not hungry we have a place to stay and clothes on our backs. I want my son to have memories of spending time together, not an absentee mother.
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Old 12-26-2012, 03:49 PM   #13
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Re: What Lengths Have You/Would You Go To To Stay Home?

we halved our income to stay home.

Mostly it's affected what we're able to put into savings and we rarely go out. Housing wasn't an issue as we're military and we've moved twice since I've become a SAHM (2 yrs ago), but we have made housing choices based on the more limited income we have now.
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Old 12-26-2012, 03:52 PM   #14
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We went down to 1 car. Sold all unnecessary toys (skis my hubby hadn't used in 3 years) no more going out to eat unless it was with others as a social event and we explicitly ask for seperate check. I buy/sell used items. We budget like crazy. I get like one hair cut a year. By choice. I buy gifts thru the year to ease the strain in December. We pay monthly into accounts for things, like plane tickets.


Tax refunds are not income to us. They don't pay off debt (we refuse to get into it) we put it into our savings. 1/4 goes to each of our own accounts. Our roths, our boys' 529's.
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Old 12-26-2012, 04:04 PM   #15
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Re: What Lengths Have You/Would You Go To To Stay Home?

I'm not actually looking to move or stay home or anything. We already do things thriftily, like paper stuff, homemade cleaners, no vacations, selling stuff, rare haircuts, old cars, secondhand everything, no eating out, etc. Like I said, it feels like a weird income bracket. it's middle class, but we have nothing to show for it. the "cost" of working isn't an issue. I don't do meals out or have a special wardrobe for work or anything. Just childcare and gas, both of which are handily covered with my wages.

Like I said, I don't even know where I'm going with this question. Just getting some discussion rolling.
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Old 12-26-2012, 04:18 PM   #16
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I may be the odd one out here, but I wouldn't make huge sacrifices to stay home... I've been a SAHM since my first was born, and also a FT student. I haven't worked because I don't realistically have the time to do so while also sleeping more than 4 hours per day, but also because we are comfortable enough on DH's salary alone. We aren't rich, certainly, but we aren't accumulating debt, we're able to save some money and can still afford extras.

I'm actually looking forward to going back to work in the next year or two. In my ideal scenario DH will be able to cut back to PT and be a SAHD the rest of the time, and we'll still be making more than we do now. I think he's probably more suited to being a SAHP than I am, I do love the time that I've gotten with my babies while they're small, but I also see how they flourish when they're around other people, so I'm not operating under the delusion that I'm the only person they need to be around. And this has gotten a bit off-topic, so I'll stop now. Lol.
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Old 12-26-2012, 04:24 PM   #17
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Loving this thread. DH and I have been tossing around the idea of him quitting his job to write full time. I teach irish dance three evenings a week and run my dance school. I am home with my son during the day which is awesome, but it would be really cool for DH to be home with us and pursue his dream. However, DH quitting his job would cut our monthly salary almost in half at least until his writing took off and brought in a bit more. It makes me super nervous. :/
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Old 12-26-2012, 04:33 PM   #18
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I agree with pp that it is not so much a luxury. And I don't consider these things so much as sacrifices. We live frugally because consumerism skeeves me out. It's just a lifestyle choice for us. There are definitely days where I just want to work like everyone else, to have more and do more and get away. My DS is very challenging at times. And I have a degree whereas dh does not. But I think me staying home is the right thing for my family.
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Old 12-26-2012, 04:50 PM   #19
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Quote:
Originally Posted by badmisterkitty
I'm not actually looking to move or stay home or anything. We already do things thriftily, like paper stuff, homemade cleaners, no vacations, selling stuff, rare haircuts, old cars, secondhand everything, no eating out, etc. Like I said, it feels like a weird income bracket. it's middle class, but we have nothing to show for it. the "cost" of working isn't an issue. I don't do meals out or have a special wardrobe for work or anything. Just childcare and gas, both of which are handily covered with my wages.

This is our family. But sometimes it's not just Stay Home Or Don't. My husband and I both work odd schedules so one of us is always home. I work full time, but I also have a lot of the benefits of being a stay at home mom. I'm home until 1:30 in the afternoon and then I go to work. My husband gets home at noon and takes over when I leave. I work 4 10 hour days on 2nd shift and my husband works 3rd shift. We found a way to have the best of both worlds for us. We don't "need" my income, but my income does provide us extra security and peace of mind that we wouldn't have if I stayed home. I would give up any material item to be home with my kid, but I will not sacrifice peace and security for the whole family.
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Old 12-26-2012, 04:53 PM   #20
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Re: What Lengths Have You/Would You Go To To Stay Home?

I've always been a SAHM, and we are doing a lot better than we were when we started now. But there was a time where we lived in a small, cheap apartment in a not-so-nice part of town. We shared a beater car. We didn't have tv at all. We had to go to the library to use the computers and internet and we had Tracfones. We didn't go on trips, even to local attractions or anything. We didn't have much furniture and the furniture we had were old hand-me-downs. We didn't have many decorations in our apartment, we didn't have much clothing and we went to the laundromat once every 2 weeks! BUT, I was able to stay home and raise our child. I was able to tape all the firsts that my DH missed out on, and show to him when he got home. It was worth a lot more to me than the other stuff.

Luckily, things got much better and DH got a significant pay raise, we were able to move and we now have all those luxuries like TV/Internet/2 cars etc. But man, we were bare bones for a few years there!
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