Reply Hey Mom! Learn more about the Gerber Life Insurance Grow-Up Plan!
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 12-26-2012, 04:57 PM   #21
eahcapemay's Avatar
eahcapemay
Registered Users
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Hawaii
Posts: 2,242
Re: What Lengths Have You/Would You Go To To Stay Home?

I SAH. I wish I didn't, but it's important to DH and the idea of working full time, doing most of the house work and caring for DS seems really overwhelming. Ideally I would WOH and DH would quit his job and SAH. But he currently has a higher earning potential than me. I'm working towards being able to make that happen for us, but it's at least a year away.

Advertisement

__________________
My phone is smart, I am not. All spelling errors are my own.
eahcapemay is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-26-2012, 05:00 PM   #22
madebymommy
Banned - User Requested
seller
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Central New York
Posts: 3,837
My Mood:
Re: What Lengths Have You/Would You Go To To Stay Home?

Quote:
Originally Posted by deely View Post
This is our family. But sometimes it's not just Stay Home Or Don't. My husband and I both work odd schedules so one of us is always home. I work full time, but I also have a lot of the benefits of being a stay at home mom. I'm home until 1:30 in the afternoon and then I go to work. My husband gets home at noon and takes over when I leave. I work 4 10 hour days on 2nd shift and my husband works 3rd shift. We found a way to have the best of both worlds for us. We don't "need" my income, but my income does provide us extra security and peace of mind that we wouldn't have if I stayed home. I would give up any material item to be home with my kid, but I will not sacrifice peace and security for the whole family.
I think that right there is the trade off for many with being a SAHM vs a WOHM. We don't have any savings and haven't for years, so we don't have that extra security that I assume you are talking about. Its really nerve-wracking and I've definitely had moments where I was crunching numbers, trying to figure out if it would be worth it for me to get a job and put our youngest 2 in daycare!
madebymommy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-26-2012, 05:05 PM   #23
PerfectFifth's Avatar
PerfectFifth
Registered Users
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: WA
Posts: 1,053
My Mood:
Re: What Lengths Have You/Would You Go To To Stay Home?

Quote:
Originally Posted by madebymommy View Post
I've always been a SAHM, and we are doing a lot better than we were when we started now. But there was a time where we lived in a small, cheap apartment in a not-so-nice part of town. We shared a beater car. We didn't have tv at all. We had to go to the library to use the computers and internet and we had Tracfones. We didn't go on trips, even to local attractions or anything. We didn't have much furniture and the furniture we had were old hand-me-downs. We didn't have many decorations in our apartment, we didn't have much clothing and we went to the laundromat once every 2 weeks! BUT, I was able to stay home and raise our child. I was able to tape all the firsts that my DH missed out on, and show to him when he got home. It was worth a lot more to me than the other stuff.

Luckily, things got much better and DH got a significant pay raise, we were able to move and we now have all those luxuries like TV/Internet/2 cars etc. But man, we were bare bones for a few years there!
We're in a lot like your first situation right now, and it makes me happy to hear that things got better for you. Hopefully some day, we'll be able to get out of our crappy little apartment, too! I have thought lately about getting some sort of night job, because money is super tight.
__________________
Maria, wife to A (5/31/08), Mom to DS1 (8/10), DS2 (6/12), and DD (4/15)
~*Now hand-crafting cute and comfy MAMA CLOTH PADS and DOLL CARRIERS! Visit Simple Pear on Etsy.*~
PerfectFifth is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-26-2012, 05:05 PM   #24
happysmileylady
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 8,715
Re: What Lengths Have You/Would You Go To To Stay Home?

We don't go to extraordinary measures. When we were in a situation where we couldn't make it on DH's salary alone, I went and got a job. We don't vacation or anything like that, but that's because we are paying off debt. Once the debt is paid, DH's current salary could leaves us with enough to take vacations or whatever.
__________________
Kim-married to Dan
Mama to Caiti (17), Rae Rae (4), Dani Lee(2), and CJ, born 10/12/12.
Stuff From Kim's Kloset That Special Moment Photography Also come check out Swagbucks with me!
happysmileylady is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 12-26-2012, 05:19 PM   #25
madebymommy
Banned - User Requested
seller
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Central New York
Posts: 3,837
My Mood:
Re: What Lengths Have You/Would You Go To To Stay Home?

Quote:
Originally Posted by PerfectFifth View Post
We're in a lot like your first situation right now, and it makes me happy to hear that things got better for you. Hopefully some day, we'll be able to get out of our crappy little apartment, too! I have thought lately about getting some sort of night job, because money is super tight.
BIG HUGE HUGS! It does get better! Just keep your head down and keep chugging along. We had a fair amount of luck after living like that for a few years (a promotion for DH, the opportunity to rent a nice house because of his grandmother passing away) but man, we paid our dues!!
madebymommy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-26-2012, 07:02 PM   #26
NotLad's Avatar
NotLad
Registered Users
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: The UT
Posts: 2,436
My Mood:
Re: What Lengths Have You/Would You Go To To Stay Home?

Quote:
Originally Posted by PerfectFifth View Post
We're in a lot like your first situation right now, and it makes me happy to hear that things got better for you. Hopefully some day, we'll be able to get out of our crappy little apartment, too! I have thought lately about getting some sort of night job, because money is super tight.
Quote:
Originally Posted by madebymommy View Post
BIG HUGE HUGS! It does get better! Just keep your head down and keep chugging along. We had a fair amount of luck after living like that for a few years (a promotion for DH, the opportunity to rent a nice house because of his grandmother passing away) but man, we paid our dues!!
Madebymommy is right. When dh and I were first married, we couldn't afford to buy Halloween candy. We turned off all the lights and hid in our tiny apartment the whole night. It gets better.
NotLad is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-26-2012, 07:06 PM   #27
NotLad's Avatar
NotLad
Registered Users
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: The UT
Posts: 2,436
My Mood:
Re: What Lengths Have You/Would You Go To To Stay Home?

Quote:
Originally Posted by deely View Post
I would give up any material item to be home with my kid, but I will not sacrifice peace and security for the whole family.
I couldn't agree more, but I know several people that don't live like that. One of my friends is sacrificing health insurance to SAH. Her H's company doesn't offer it and it is small enough to be exempt from obamacare. So they just go without. This is not a sacrifice I'd make. One accident or one health crisis and they are ruined.
NotLad is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-26-2012, 08:31 PM   #28
joeslittlewoman's Avatar
joeslittlewoman
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Oklahoma
Posts: 3,925
Our first year as parents was the year the economy got bad enough to reach us here in OK. We cut off all extras (cable, gym, etc). Cashed in my 401K to pay off our cars. Put more than we should have on CCs (we expected to bounce back much quicker than we did). Couponed like crazy. I found ways to get baby stuff for free or next to nothing. Cloth diapered while hubby was at work with borrowed end-of-life diapers. Forfeited holiday/birthday shopping.

A lot of our choices were stupid. Not because I was staying home, but because we kept spending as if hubby's pay hadn't taken a dip. We got real on the tail end of things and started making cuts everywhere we could.

If it was just up to me, I'd have no problem downgrading our housing and lifestyle drastically if it meant staying home with them. It would be really hard for hubby, though. We are blessed to not have to choose between a comfortable lifestyle and me sah, though. We have been hugely blessed since that first year.
__________________
Wife to Joe. Proud, tired mommy to Captain Destructive (6/09), Sir Screams-a-lot (8/10), and another little miracle due 3/13.
Trusting God brings life. Believing brings rest.
joeslittlewoman is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-26-2012, 08:36 PM   #29
Mags462's Avatar
Mags462
Registered Users
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Rollin' Hard in my Swagger Wagon!
Posts: 6,539
My Mood:
Re: What Lengths Have You/Would You Go To To Stay Home?

Well we always planned on me staying home once children joined our family. So we always lived within our means (which starting out were SMALL) and made sure that our choices were in line with our future wants of me staying home and DH being the sole provider. We worked a LOT through college and studied like mad to get as many scholarships as possible and then to be able to pay cash for our expenses as needed. Which allowed us to both get our Bachelors with a fraction of the debt that nearly everyone i know leaves with. This meant that we weren't burdened with a huge monthly payment we couldn't afford when i stopped working. We also paid sweat equity and paid a LOT of it to have our home. Honestly, its nothing "fancy".... its 1400 sq ft and we take pride in it (DH true love is the lawn ) so it looks like it costs a lot more than it did. Again, we did this all based on a one income scenario. It meant a LOT of physical labor, a lot of working insane hours, but its worth it. Well to us it is. We have a comfortable home we love, that we can afford on one income. Both of our cars are 2005's but they run well and we maintain them.

It honestly takes a lot of effort on my part to make sure we spend wisely to cover our monthly expenses - but that's my contribution right now - he makes the money and i make it go as far as possible.

I do intend to re-enter the work force at some point..... but i have not worked outside our home in nearly 7 years - since DS1 was born. Me being home with the children is a priority so we just make it happen.
__________________
Officially in "mourning".... and
Mags462 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-26-2012, 08:38 PM   #30
lizgrace07's Avatar
lizgrace07
Registered Users
seller
seller
 
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 2,249
Re: What Lengths Have You/Would You Go To To Stay Home?

We've always planned for me to stay home. For us it was the only lifestyle we would want. So yes, we lived in a really really crappy apartment for a while, then moved halfway across the country to a cheaper area (nowhere near family) to be able to live in a little nicer place and still live on only DHs income. Most people would still consider our house (duplex, actually) too small and not very nice. I don't care though, it's what we can afford on one income and me working full time is not something we ever want to do. We live very thriftily and for a while had only one car. We'd do almost anything for me to be a SAHM. (I am working towards getting my doula certification, but that's because I want to do it and it will be very very very part time. More like a hobby for me.)
__________________
Catholic wife to the very best hubby in the world and mama to four boys:
John-Paul, William, Oliver, and Teddy.
lizgrace07 is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

Copyright 2005 - 2014 Escalate Media. All Rights Reserved.