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Old 01-01-2013, 01:35 PM   #1
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How to get over fear from a previous delivery

If you had a scary birth last time, how are you overcoming those fears this time around?

I have some fears based on my previous delivery of a large baby that have me worrying pretty much every day and I want to get over it somehow.

thank you!

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Old 01-01-2013, 03:20 PM   #2
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Keeping an open ongoing line of communication with my doc really helped me. Dd2 was a large baby who got stuck(thankfully no broken bones and just some pt was all that was needed). She was also blue and had to be bagged. Nothing scarier then 4nurses pushing and pulling on you and then having a team of 5 nicu personal come running into the room My ob with ds always seemed interested in what I had to say, how I felt, offered info on a 'deit', more then willing to order ultrasounds to check ds's size and constently asked how I felt his growth was(said moms are right more often then docs and u/s techs). I also prayed and just had to put trust in God, my doctor, and the hospital. Ds was born 2wks ago and was the easiest to deliver by far-3contractions was all it took and he slid right out in all his pink grunting glory

My thoughts are with you and hope you can find peace of mind
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Old 01-01-2013, 03:23 PM   #3
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This past one was really intense, wowzer. As he was coming out I was screaming pull him out!!!! I was in agony. Lol.

I guess the biggest thing I think you can do is educate yourself on the process. How to handle the process and recognize that fear is OK. I was so anxious about the pain this time around because I knew how bad it would be... It was worse. But I had really researched HOW to manage the things that I feared. back labor is no joke and can easily cause you to crumble under its pressure and pains. Focusing is difficult but can be done

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Old 01-01-2013, 03:39 PM   #4
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Re: How to get over fear from a previous delivery

My faith. Honestly.

My last birth did not go well. I knew I was stalling it and making it harder to progress because I was so stressed. It wasn't what I expected - back labor as opposed to normal labor, it started at the end of a long day, baby's heartrate was plummetting with every contraction, adding to my stress. I spent every contraction concentrating on the mantra 'no csection, no csection'. I could not relax.

Surprisingly, I'm not worried about the labor at all for this baby. I feel somewhat at peace. I know I'll likely have another back labor, but now I'm more educated about it, so if it happens, I won't be caught off guard. I've hired a very experienced doula and I'm trusting in God.

I mention this because your siggy says you're Catholic. so, I assume that you have faith in the power of well... faith

I was very very very stressed a few months ago, felt like nothing was going well (outside of the most important part: healthy fetus) and somehow felt like it was up to me. I became convicted about my fears and now I'm at peace.

so, the best answers I have: faith, educating yourself, and a good support system.
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Old 01-02-2013, 02:01 AM   #5
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Re: How to get over fear from a previous delivery

I can definitely relate mama My first, DD, was a back labor turning just before pushing. Than after I had a partially retained placenta, manual extraction, and major bleeding that led to me being anemic. So when I was pregnant with DS I was nervous especially to need the manual extraction again. How I got over it with him is to tell myself that it probably wouldn't happen again and if it did I made it through once and could do it again. With him I ended up having horrible back labor which was horrendous during pushing (he came out facing the side) but the placenta came out fine This time I've been especially nervous about the back labor being so intense and the pushing being as painful as it was. I have been able to be more calm about it after having open conversations with our amazing midwife and she keeps asking questions about how I'm doing with everything. It really helps to just express your concerns to someone who is going to be there with you during the process. Also, really focusing on the end goal of meeting your precious LO at the end and getting those first moments helps put it all in perspective. Our bodies are made to do this so we just need to let go and let it happen. All in all it's worth it at the end and I know I will feel empowered having done it again.
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Old 01-02-2013, 02:42 AM   #6
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Re: How to get over fear from a previous delivery

I got over my fear of going under the knife when I suffered more than 10 hours of labor before C-section and my OB told me that the baby would be in danger because of the risk of infection since my amniotic fluid had run out. I thought of the baby's safety so I prayed to God to remove my fears and worries and I told the OB to open me up as soon as possible.
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Old 01-02-2013, 04:14 AM   #7
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Re: How to get over fear from a previous delivery

Faith and prayers. Family support. DH holding my hand. They were the things that helped me overcome my fears when I gave birth to my youngest because my past delivery with my daughter was a bit stressful.
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Old 01-02-2013, 04:23 AM   #8
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Re: How to get over fear from a previous delivery

I hired a midwife specialized in birth trauma. I would suggest a support figure such as a doula who works with you your whole pregnancy through if that is an option for you. I was terrified after my first birth.
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Old 01-02-2013, 09:06 AM   #9
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Check out the book called "mindful birthing" by nancy bardeke. She is a CNM who teaches birthing based on principles of mindfulness. It talks about focusing on the here, rather than what happened in the past and what might happen in the future.

I had PTSD and ppd after my first birth. Reading this book has helped me get rid of the anxiety I feel about current pregnancy. I keep retreading a section that talks about how it's impossible to have the same birth experience twice.

I also saw a therapist who helped me and did EMDR therapy.
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Old 01-03-2013, 02:23 PM   #10
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Re: How to get over fear from a previous delivery

My first birth was pretty traumatic, and I was very, very stressed and worried about how my next labor would pan out. Everyone said that your second is easier and every birth and pregnancy is different, but I just felt like I was going to be an exception. I was excited that I would be at a different hospital because I couldn't bear seeing all of the same stuff I had such bad memories of... until I visited the new hospital and it was so similar...

I decided being worried and stressed does no good. I also realized that my first birth was so "dysfunctional" (as my ob put it) that what were the chances that it could get any worse? and if it was the same, well, I got through it once and I suppose I could do it again. The odds were in my favor My second labor/birth was a dream - under 10 hours, no pit needed, no pain meds (although it was super painful and I did ask for them...) and my son was able to stay with me and nurse right away (no nicu!).

I feel for you and I will pray you have a better birth experience this time...
((hugs))
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