Back to Work So Sad

[dericasmom]

After 4.5 glorious months with Baby D I am returning to work on Thursday next week. I have been bawling my eyes out every night this week and soooooo sad that I will be away from her for so much of the time. I have a 9 hour day at work plus one hour commute each way for a total of 11 hours away, 5 days a week. Based on her current patterns it looks like I will wake her up to nurse at 6:30am and then hopefully get home in time to nurse her to sleep at 6pm. She has been cranky for bed as early as 5pm at times and I haven't been able to comfortably stretch her bedtime past 6:15 at the latest. When she is ready for bed she has the saddest cry and I don't have the heart to ask my sister in law (who will be working for us as nanny) to keep her up. I am so so so so sad that I won't be with her during the day and the idea that I will see her awake for about 40 minutes a day is KILLING ME. Changing jobs or working fewer hours is not an option for the time being (maybe late this year or early next year it might be a consideration). I'm having all sorts of anxiety that she will miss me too much or not enough, that she'll feel abandoned or that she'll like my SIL better than she likes me, I'm a complete wreck. I understand I am not the first new mom to return to work and I knew I would feel sad about it, just didn't know I would feel THIS sad about it. So I guess I just wanted to vent and if anyone has tips or encouragement to share I'm all "ears". Thanks

[waterisntsomething]

I can't imagine how hard that must be. I had a job offer that would haev been 11 hours away from DS and I ended up not taking it b/c of that. SO usally leaves for work around 2 and doesn't get home till 2 am-ish (restuarant). I know not getting to spend much time with DS really wears on him. I hope something works out soon for you and you can spend more time at home!

[5PrincessMommy]

would it be possible to move closer to work or not take a lunch break so you only have an 8 hour day vs 9?

Most likely she will adjust to your schedule and stay up a bit later and nurse through the night.

I totally understand your feelings though. I felt the same way when I went back to work at 6 weeks.

[boysniris]

[redhairboy]

It's hard going back to work. The first few weeks will be the hardest. Good Luck mama!

[anneraingirl]

I feel for you. My school closed down after we decided to have a baby. I was so lucky to find a new teaching job for the following school year. However, if I missed more than my 12 days off, I had to be docked over $200/day because as teachers we have a "daily" rate they must go by because of getting paid all year. My pregnancy was a preexisting condition and I did not have short term disability. Therefore I went back after 2 short weeks. But I will tell you what, my time with her is so special and I am so patient when she is upset and I even thank God when I am up with her at night for getting to spend time with her. It has made me a better mom.

[mibarra]

Could you Skype with baby and SIL on your lunch break so you at least see/talk to her?

[GreenDahlia]

I know that it is so, so hard right now. I agree with the poster who talks about appreciating your time together more. You'll have to let go of the non-essentials. My house is no longer spotless and the laundry piles up until the weekend. Along the way you'll figure out little shortcuts that make your life easier. Definitely talk with your SIL about what will help you feel more connected to your baby while at daycare, whether it's calling to check on her, taking pictures, writing down the cute little things she does, etc. Last of all, don't ever think your baby will forget you're her mom. I work at a daycare and there isn't a single child whose face doesn't light up when mom or dad enters the room. She knows you, loves you, and needs you no matter what. It's all about your quality of time together, not just quantity.

[mibarra]

Originally Posted by GreenDahlia Last of all, don't ever think your baby will forget you're her mom. I work at a daycare and there isn't a single child whose face doesn't light up when mom or dad enters the room. She knows you, loves you, and needs you no matter what. It's all about your quality of time together, not just quantity.

Agree with this 100%. You will ALWAYS be mommy.

[Brooke789]

I totally understand. My twins are 2.5 now, but when I went back to work at 8 weeks it was miserable. I'd call it miserable for a few weeks to months and then I got used to it. I've never 'liked' that I work and have always wanted to stay home, but that isn't an option for us. If that is your situation also I can tell you that it does make it harder.

When we returned to work last week after Christmas vacation I was bawling my eyes out thinking about how much I was going to miss my babies. They had not been out of my sight for 2 weeks and again I was miserable

I realize this doesn't help, but know that there are plenty of others in your shoes. We make it work because we have to. And my kids have always wanted to be with me rather than whoever else they were with. There was only one time that they cried and I literally drug them out the door and that was because it was the first time they'd ever played with Playdoh and they didn't want to stop. Every other time they've been knocking down the door ready to go!