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Old 01-04-2013, 10:13 PM   #1
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dericasmom
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Back to Work So Sad

After 4.5 glorious months with Baby D I am returning to work on Thursday next week. I have been bawling my eyes out every night this week and soooooo sad that I will be away from her for so much of the time. I have a 9 hour day at work plus one hour commute each way for a total of 11 hours away, 5 days a week. Based on her current patterns it looks like I will wake her up to nurse at 6:30am and then hopefully get home in time to nurse her to sleep at 6pm. She has been cranky for bed as early as 5pm at times and I haven't been able to comfortably stretch her bedtime past 6:15 at the latest. When she is ready for bed she has the saddest cry and I don't have the heart to ask my sister in law (who will be working for us as nanny) to keep her up. I am so so so so sad that I won't be with her during the day and the idea that I will see her awake for about 40 minutes a day is KILLING ME. Changing jobs or working fewer hours is not an option for the time being (maybe late this year or early next year it might be a consideration). I'm having all sorts of anxiety that she will miss me too much or not enough, that she'll feel abandoned or that she'll like my SIL better than she likes me, I'm a complete wreck. I understand I am not the first new mom to return to work and I knew I would feel sad about it, just didn't know I would feel THIS sad about it. So I guess I just wanted to vent and if anyone has tips or encouragement to share I'm all "ears". Thanks
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