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Old 01-06-2013, 10:35 AM   #11
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Re: TTC After Loss - 2013

I'm going to jump on here too. I know some of you all already and you know my story, but for those that don't, here's a quick run down:

I have on DS (5) and 8 angel babies. Twins in 06 at 8 weeks, DS's twin at 16 weeks in 07, twins in 11 at 8 weeks (molar preg), and triplets at 10 weeks in 12.

We have been TTC since the loss of the triplets in Aug. I see a RE and do a combo of injections/oral meds and IUIs. My DH is about to deploy and I go in tomorrow for my last IUI before his deployment. If it doesn't work we'll be going to IVF when he gets home in Aug/Sept.

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Old 01-07-2013, 04:55 PM   #12
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Hi ladies, can I join? First of all I am so very sorry for all your losses.

I'm Jacqueline and I have an 18 month old DS named Jeremiah. I had a chemical back in September, it was my first time ovulating post-partum (15 months), and I had not had my first pp AF yet either. Then in October I got pregnant again. Last month at 11w5d I started to cramp and spot and the following Saturday we went to the hospital because I had horrible labour pains in my back but was barely bleeding. They did a quick u/s and found no HB and my uterus measured really small for 12w. I went in the following day, Sunday, and had a more detailed u/s showing that the baby died around 7 or 8w. I then had a D&C that same day because my body wasn't miscarrying naturally. It has been exactly 2 weeks since the D&C now. I'm still waiting for my body to go back to normal and get my first real AF in over 2 years. I'm not sure if I will be ready to TTC after my first AF, who knows if I will even ovulate that cycle, but we're waiting to see how we (DH and I) feel at that time. I'm taking a Vitex tincture, prescribed to me by my ND, to regulate my hormones. The last few months have been a rollercoaster ride for me. I got pregnant with my son at age 23 without even trying so I took for granted how easy it was for me at that time. I have learned now, that is not always the way things go and I know I will be that much more grateful when I do get pg again with a healthy sticky bean. With that said though, I am very scared to be pg again.
I just wanted to say that I can totally relate to taking my fertility for granted. I also got pregnant at 23 with our daughter. I got pregnant immediately after going off of hormonal birth control, I didn't even have a cycle first. But for some reason I remember when I went to the obgyn in July to discuss TTC again (I am glucose intolerant and wanted to get the green light) I had a huge gut feeling or fear that this time wasn't going to be as easy. I think for me, in part, it came when I started really learning about my cycles and charting etc. I saw so many mamas struggle and I realized that there are no guarantees when it comes to fertility. Life really is a miracle.

Sorry for rambling, lol.
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Old 01-07-2013, 04:59 PM   #13
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I just wanted to say that I can totally relate to taking my fertility for granted. I also got pregnant at 23 with our daughter. I got pregnant immediately after going off of hormonal birth control, I didn't even have a cycle first. But for some reason I remember when I went to the obgyn in July to discuss TTC again (I am glucose intolerant and wanted to get the green light) I had a huge gut feeling or fear that this time wasn't going to be as easy. I think for me, in part, it came when I started really learning about my cycles and charting etc. I saw so many mamas struggle and I realized that there are no guarantees when it comes to fertility. Life really is a miracle.

Sorry for rambling, lol.
That was well put. Miscarriage and infertility (although I'm not there yet. It's only cycle #7) were the farthest thing from my mind.
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Old 01-07-2013, 07:18 PM   #14
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Hi ladies. I'm going to join in with you all. I'm so sorry to hear about all these losses. It's nice to have support but sad that so many women suffer loss.

I am one who can relate to taking fertility for granted. My dd was a surprise, then ds and my 3rd pregnancy happened on the first try. My 3rd pregnancy ended in mc at 10 weeks in September, but baby didn't develop past 6 weeks. It was just something I never expected. Both of my kiddos had rough, scary starts as newborns so for me the anxious part of getting pregnant again was actually delivering a healthy baby and not the getting/staying pregnant part.

Anyway, we have just been ntnp since the mc with nothing yet. I have had such a hard time that I know I needed this time to heal, but would still really like another baby now . Ntnp is my version of ttc because I don't feel like I need the extra stress of the rest. I just track AF and my last started Christmas Eve so I should be in the 2ww now or soon.
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Old 01-07-2013, 07:22 PM   #15
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I'd like to join. I was told at 14 I was infertile, never to be a mama. Faith and God led me to some possible answers, and I had DS in October 2010 at 30 years old. I'm now 33, trying for another. We lost Baby June in October at 8 weeks (my first two have birthdays two days apart). We had a living, heart-beating baby, and then we just didnt. Ive never felt anything like that before. We are trying for baby #3 now.

Does anyone ever feel as if they are cheating their lost baby when people ask how many kids you have and you only say 1 (or whatever)? When people ask when a sibling is coming for DS, or when number 2 is coming, I always respond that we lost her in October and are working on #3 now, but just in general about how many you have. Two for me is how I feel, but that means a long conversation and sometimes I don't want to get into it? Anyone else?

Soryr fro typos. Setn by iPhone.
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Old 01-07-2013, 07:30 PM   #16
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Originally Posted by Hope4More
I'd like to join. I was told at 14 I was infertile, never to be a mama. Faith and God led me to some possible answers, and I had DS in October 2010 at 30 years old. I'm now 33, trying for another. We lost Baby June in October at 8 weeks (my first two have birthdays two days apart). We had a living, heart-beating baby, and then we just didnt. Ive never felt anything like that before. We are trying for baby #3 now.

Does anyone ever feel as if they are cheating their lost baby when people ask how many kids you have and you only say 1 (or whatever)? When people ask when a sibling is coming for DS, or when number 2 is coming, I always respond that we lost her in October and are working on #3 now, but just in general about how many you have. Two for me is how I feel, but that means a long conversation and sometimes I don't want to get into it? Anyone else?

Soryr fro typos. Setn by iPhone.
I know what you mean about the having a beating heart baby. My little one passed away a week after our NT scan after we got the A-ok. It was traumatic to say the least.

I tell close people about the baby but if its just a stranger I say we have 4 living children and leave it at that. It's just easier that way and keeps me from breaking down in front of strangers.
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Old 01-07-2013, 07:34 PM   #17
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I'd like to join as well!

We have DS who will be 5 in April and had been trying for 17 months when we finally got pregnant with meds( injections, oral and vaginal) in Sept! I went in for my 6/7 week US and found out I had a blighted ovum and eptopic on my ovary so what would have been twins! I went thru a D&C and 2 high dose Methotrexate injections.... All went well and three months later we have got the ok to try again to find out today from CD2 US i had on Fri. and its a no go for meds....
I had a 3.7 cm cyst on my left ovary.... But have another follie on left 1.2 cm and three on right greater than 1cm so will just have a good ALL NATURAL month and see where we get! I'll be doing OPK's and monitoring CM and BDing like crazy!! Come on baby! Hope this happens so we can save some money on not having to get meds!!!

Good luck and :good vibes: :baby dust: to us all!!
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Old 01-07-2013, 07:34 PM   #18
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Re: TTC After Loss - 2013

Quote:
Originally Posted by Hope4More View Post
I'd like to join. I was told at 14 I was infertile, never to be a mama. Faith and God led me to some possible answers, and I had DS in October 2010 at 30 years old. I'm now 33, trying for another. We lost Baby June in October at 8 weeks (my first two have birthdays two days apart). We had a living, heart-beating baby, and then we just didnt. Ive never felt anything like that before. We are trying for baby #3 now.

Does anyone ever feel as if they are cheating their lost baby when people ask how many kids you have and you only say 1 (or whatever)? When people ask when a sibling is coming for DS, or when number 2 is coming, I always respond that we lost her in October and are working on #3 now, but just in general about how many you have. Two for me is how I feel, but that means a long conversation and sometimes I don't want to get into it? Anyone else?

Soryr fro typos. Setn by iPhone.
I think I would probably just say 1, but I would feel the pain inside when thinking about the baby I lost.

Did anyone find that when they went through their m/c babies and pregnancy kept being brought up (by strangers)? This weekend DH and I were at a bible study and met many new people, most of these people know other members of my family however. Anyway, I think I got asked by about 3 or 4 different people when we were going to try for #2. I guess these people see that many of their friends, some of my family members included, seem to have one baby after another really close in age. So I guess they supposed that should happen to me too... Well I just felt so bitter after that, even though I know their intentions were good. Someone even asked me if I wanted twins. I can't help it but those questions all STUNG! I know those people didn't know but man, it hurt when those questions were asked, and why so many times!?!
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Old 01-07-2013, 08:03 PM   #19
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Originally Posted by Hope4More
I'd like to join. I was told at 14 I was infertile, never to be a mama. Faith and God led me to some possible answers, and I had DS in October 2010 at 30 years old. I'm now 33, trying for another. We lost Baby June in October at 8 weeks (my first two have birthdays two days apart). We had a living, heart-beating baby, and then we just didnt. Ive never felt anything like that before. We are trying for baby #3 now.

Does anyone ever feel as if they are cheating their lost baby when people ask how many kids you have and you only say 1 (or whatever)? When people ask when a sibling is coming for DS, or when number 2 is coming, I always respond that we lost her in October and are working on #3 now, but just in general about how many you have. Two for me is how I feel, but that means a long conversation and sometimes I don't want to get into it? Anyone else?

Soryr fro typos. Setn by iPhone.
I know what you mean, but I still just say two and don't mention the loss. Part of what is upsetting to me is that DH and I are the only ones who will ever remember this baby or that I was pregnant, but at the same time I would never talk about it with someone I'm not close with. It's even hard to talk about it with my best friends and mom because I feel like even they see it as a pregnancy and not a baby like I do.
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Old 01-07-2013, 08:16 PM   #20
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Re: TTC After Loss - 2013

I totally understand what you mean about the how many kids question. I typically just answer "One", but I know that's not true. DS, on the other hand tells people all the time that he is not an only child, that he has lots of brothers and sisters in heaven waiting for him. It breaks my heart and makes me so proud all at the same time.
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