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Old 01-06-2013, 06:56 PM   #21
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Re: If your DH/SO successfully took weight off, how did you help?

I kept junk food out of the house, made time for him to exercise and made healthy meals.

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Old 01-06-2013, 07:04 PM   #22
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Re: If your DH/SO successfully took weight off, how did you help?

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Hehe. I asked DH. Here's what he said.

"Holly asked me what she did that was helpful while I was losing weight. Because I am annoying and wordy, I spat out a bunch of rapid fire info. Then I sheepishly asked if maybe it'd be more useful if I just wrote it down. For context -- I weighed somewhere around 175 when Holly and I got married. Six years of later, Holly was still skinny, but i'd popped up to about 225. A weigh in experience at a doctor's visit shamed me into weight loss, and a year later I'm down to a pretty happy 160. Here's the best stuff Holly did to help me:

Be complimentary when he hits good milestones -- or just when you notice him looking good! We brush it off, but we like to hear it. There's little better for positive reinforcement than knowing your wife is into you. And that can totally include being frisky.

Be flexible with schedule stuff. For me, a big part of losing weight was carving out enough time to walk (and eventually run) an hour or two a day. Holly and I worked together to figure out a way to put a new hour into our schedule. It involved giving up some time/activity on my part -- but it also involved sacrifice from her. If your guy is carving time out to get in shape, try not to make him feel guilty for the time he has to take out.

As a companion to that -- make sure you are being super honest with him if the new schedule *isn't* working. No husband wants to suddenly realize he is letting his family down by being absent.

Take part if he asks you to -- but don't insert yourself too much in an effort to be overly supportive. If he wants you to run with him -- great! If he is embarrassed and would rather do it by himself -- that's okay too. You might think that doing it with him will be encouraging because he will have a partner to keep him accountable; but it might just be scaring him away from getting serious because he's embarrassed by you watching him while he is painfully out of shape. I know you might be thinking "but he's my husband, I see him out of shape doing more than just jogging." Doesn't matter. For some guys, they might love having a team-mate in their weight loss activities. Others might just want to quietly do it on their own.

The food thing is a challenge. Most guys can get their brains around working out, because it is a very guy sort of thing to do. It even has "work" right in the name! Dieting, however, is far less easy to mentally deal with. Don't try to force your idea of a good diet on him, but help him look around for a good plan that might work for him. And be knowledgeable about the one he picks. For me, I didn't do any "special" diet. I just cranked down the calories I was consuming, and stopped eating junk. Holly smartly supported it, and did a great job of helping me find good ways to lower my calorie count and plan things out.

Here's probably the trickiest part -- there's a tough line between being helpful and being frustrating when it comes to keeping him honest about what he eats, or how much he is working out, etc. Holly was amazing about gently reminding me if I was straying without being either aggressively pushy or combative about it. I imagine this line varies depending on the nature of the guy and the fundamentals of how the two of you personally interact.

Holly did all the above, and it was all super helpful for me. But, if I am being very honest, knowing she was finding the thinner me even more attractive than the ... well, less thin me ... was always the best. Maybe that's pure vanity, but it is true nonetheless. Best motivator in the world. "
Holly, it was SO nice of your hubby to write this all out! Very helpful. Please thank him for me, and tell him congrats on his success!

The bolded part is what I've kind of wondered ... I don't want DH to think I'm not attracted to him ... but the truth is, I know I would be more attracted if he made an effort. I wouldn't come right out and say it but I'll be sure to make it known to him as he starts to see some results.
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Old 01-06-2013, 07:51 PM   #23
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Moral support is huge IMO both at home and having other guy friends to just keep active; if not people that are more likely to be out and about more often than stay at home watching TV or play video games.

Even exercising if you're not there, as long as someone is there to push him and encourage one another it'll make it more enjoyable than just having to lose weight.

I have co-worker that's my weight training partner, a friend who I ride bike with and others that want to just stay fit that I'll try new things with.

I'll say for the last 15 years of working out and playing sports, the most enjoyable and the best result I've seen are through friends and having that support including from my wife. Even on days that I didn't feel like moving she would push me to go for just a walk to re-energize.

Consistency is key but also just try something different and explore. Too much emphasis on just exercising or feeling guilty for missing one workout is far more counter productive than shrugging it off and be active the next day.

Walk, workout DVD one day, hit the gym on another, learn to dance, jog, swim, try Cross Fit, try TRX system at home, etc etc. It's more about staying active and feeling great everyday. And of course not over during it either.

Food is my biggest enemy. At home we minimize any junk food, rarely buy boxed items and try to cook as much as particles possible. I've learned quite a bit about nutrition this way over the last few years focusing on proper marcro/micro nutrition as well as other supplementation.

Us guys tend to be competitive anyway so it just maybe good for your DH to find a dedicated workout partner if he hasn't already. Aside from delicious but healthy meals at home the biggest ego booster is a simple compliment from your own loved ones
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Old 01-06-2013, 08:06 PM   #24
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Re: If your DH/SO successfully took weight off, how did you help?

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Originally Posted by PBAki View Post
Us guys tend to be competitive anyway so it just maybe good for your DH to find a dedicated workout partner if he hasn't already. Aside from delicious but healthy meals at home the biggest ego booster is a simple compliment from your own loved ones
DH and one of his college buddies get up to walk before work 4-5 times a week. Then, over his lunch break he'll do something else or after work he'll go for a run. It's wind down or wake up time for him. When he first started, he had a super structured "diet plan" for breakfast and for lunch, but then ate whatever I planned for dinner. I did try to make dinner healthier, but he'd saved enough calories that he could eat pretty much whatever. During that time, we bought 100 cal packs because they were super easy to figure out calorie wise. The essentials of what he did really just boiled down to the old standard "eat less, work out more."
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