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Old 01-09-2013, 03:59 PM   #1
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Our oldest ds is nearly 10. Next school year he will be in the 5th grade, this is the year the kids are separated and go through a educational series about puberty and s3x. I've been thinking about whether I will allow I'm to attend, and I'm still on the fence. I want to talk with him first. Problem is, he's a very introverted child and doesn't like to be uncomfortable. Body things are uncomfortable for him (even though we've assured him body things are normal). He's not talkative and never has been, he's just quiet and is happy to be that way. How would you approach a child who might not WANT to know but is getting to an age where needing to know the facts/what's normal is necessary. I always thought we'd do the 'age appropriate answers' for this but he's never asked.

Fwiw, our other boys haven't ever asked either.

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Old 01-09-2013, 04:04 PM   #2
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Idk? What about offering a book or pamphlet? Then offering to ask any questions after he has read it?

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Old 01-09-2013, 04:07 PM   #3
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Idk? What about offering a book or pamphlet? Then offering to ask any questions after he has read it?

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I thought about that but it seems so hands off and technical ya know?
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Old 01-09-2013, 04:10 PM   #4
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Re: 'The talk' for uninterested older kids?

The information they give is very dry and cllinical. There is no information about intercourse. I have sat through the boys class when I worked for public school locally because my students required an attendent. It was far more about anatomy and body changes.
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Old 01-09-2013, 04:12 PM   #5
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The information they give is very dry and cllinical. There is no information about intercourse. I have sat through the boys class when I worked for public school locally because my students required an attendent. It was far more about anatomy and body changes.
And that's fine with me. He knows about the changes mostly. It's the latter I'm more iffy about
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Old 01-09-2013, 04:21 PM   #6
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Re: 'The talk' for uninterested older kids?

You have a right as a parent to know what information they are sharing before you sign the permission slip but the 5th grade talk is never allowed to discuss actual sex acts or penetration. He may feel more comfortable in that setting than he would having a chat with mom
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Old 01-09-2013, 04:53 PM   #7
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Re: 'The talk' for uninterested older kids?

My mom kept me out of that. I felt like it was completely unnecessary and actually caused me more embarrassment because I had to leave the classroom and go to the library.
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Old 01-09-2013, 05:27 PM   #8
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Re: 'The talk' for uninterested older kids?

I think sitting down with him with a book is the way to go. Yes, he will be uncomfortable, but the longer you wait, the worse it will get. The less you talk to him about it, the more it will reinforce his idea that it is too private a subject to discuss. It's ok to acknowledge his discomfort.
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Old 01-09-2013, 05:48 PM   #9
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Re: 'The talk' for uninterested older kids?

Whatever you do, don't JUST hand him a book and then never mention it again. That's what my mom did. Lame. Talk about it while you take a drive somewhere...that way neither of you expect eye contact.
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Old 01-09-2013, 06:33 PM   #10
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Maybe a real nonchalant conversation of, hey just a heads up that you'll be learning about this in school next week. I didn't want you to feel uncomfortable about it or be caught by surprise. And then a kind of basic overview. Then follow up with a conversation afterwards?

I feel it is kinda pointless to keep them out of class personally. The kids will be talking about it later and I would rather the kids be have access to the correct info directly from an educator than to just get hear what the kids say about the class. Plus, you don't want to set him up for teasing. That's just my two cents.

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