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Old 01-02-2013, 02:00 AM   #1
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Fear of TTC again after m/c

Did anyone have a fear of ttc again after a miscarriage? Is it irrational to feel this way?

Part of me feels like it may even be a fear of DTD post m/c.

I guess I am struggling with understanding how everyone can push for for ttc again so quickly after a miscarriage. Even the doctor. A week after m/c, three weeks after bfp, and over a year of ttc. But I feel like some grieving time would be nice. Maybe I am the one who is just not getting it.

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Old 01-02-2013, 05:44 AM   #2
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Re: Fear of TTC again after m/c

I never needed "grieving time" per se, but I definitely had a fear of getting pregnant again after each of my MCs. I've had three total and Im currently 22 weeks pregnant with my second girl It's really something that I think most people go through in your situation. But when I found out I was pregnant each time I felt such a sense of joy. I still miss my three who I never met, but I feel like its helped me to appreciate the ones I have now and my pregnancies (which suck quite honestly) that much more.
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Old 01-03-2013, 08:16 AM   #3
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Re: Fear of TTC again after m/c

I have fear of becoming pregnant again. We struggled like crazy, traveled across the country and came home pregnanct, then lost the baby a couple weeks into the pregnancy. DH spent a couple days deciding if he wanted to try again and about a week after we found out I wouldn't carry the baby (and the actual day that the miscarriage began) he decided he wanted to...like right then. He wanted to get back on the plane and do it all again. I, on the otherhand, knew right away I wanted to, but that I didn't want to until I was 100% positive that I had greived as long as I needed to. My miscarriage began on October 1. I knew that I would not be ready until after the holidays, not ready to really even begin to plan another trip. Now we are in the New Year, I allowed myself to think of the baby or babies we never met, grieve and imagine. I think I am ready now to move on, however, if at any point during the planning of the trip I hesitate or a hard time, I will know I am not ready and we will postpone the trip until I am.
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Old 01-03-2013, 04:55 PM   #4
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Re: Fear of TTC again after m/c

If we didn't struggle with IF I would take 3 months or so off. But since we do I don't feel like we can take that time off. I just started my first AF after a m/c, so we are back to ttc now. It's hard, it's just so much more emotional now than before.
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Old 01-03-2013, 04:57 PM   #5
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Re: Fear of TTC again after m/c

it is very difficult...and then when you do get pregnant you are a nervous wreck the entire time

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Old 01-04-2013, 03:03 AM   #6
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Re: Fear of TTC again after m/c

Quote:
Originally Posted by stevensmom View Post
it is very difficult...and then when you do get pregnant you are a nervous wreck the entire time

I think this is what I am most leary of. What if I do become pregnant again and I live those first few months not even enjoying it because I am too scared because I am afraid it will turn out the same way.
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Old 01-04-2013, 07:56 AM   #7
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Re: Fear of TTC again after m/c

I just finished going through my first m/c (and D&C), it was my second pregnancy. I should have been due early July this year. I was very heartbroken, I didn't even bother to tell anyone in the FB group or DDC because I was so upset and ashamed. I just quietly deleted myself. I am still not completely over it because every time I see the July DDC on here I get a twinge of heartache. Dh and I decided we would wait for my first period and then after that see if I ovulate and we would decide at that moment if we want to try again. To be honest, I too am very afraid to be pregnant again, I'm not even sure if I would want to test until AF is really really late (like a month late). I keep trying to tell myself this "I can try to eat as healthy as I can and take all my vitamins but what is meant to be, will be. I cannot control how this baby develops and definitely cannot control what is destined to happen." Sometimes that thought helps ease the jitters because it is a matter that is simply out of my control in the end. It doesn't always help, but I hope it will ease anxiety if I do become pg again.
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Old 01-04-2013, 09:24 PM   #8
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Re: Fear of TTC again after m/c

The fear never goes away, even if you do get pregnant and make it past where you miscarried.
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Old 01-09-2013, 10:28 PM   #9
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The fear never goes away, even if you do get pregnant and make it past where you miscarried.
I'm really afraid too. Really want another, so we are trying again. I lost our lil one back in the spring. Was due on Halloween. We started dtd once only during my fertile time most months since October...but I think fear made me not want to try more. I'm also afraid of when to tell. My (then) 2.5 yo DD went through all of it with us last time. I miss the innocence of first conception.
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