But to state that the risk is "unacceptable" means that one is bringing pretty harsh judgement on others that are making different choices.
That is the part that doesn't sit well with me. As mothers we get judged for so much.
Your opinion that her comment about it being "unacceptable" is harsh judgement, is your opinion. You're telling her that her opinion is wrong... which, is not correct. It's her opinion. It can't be wrong.