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Old 01-16-2013, 07:56 PM   #181
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Re: The spanking debate.

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Originally Posted by leyash View Post
Does anyone feel that they spank for religious reasons?

"Spare the rod, spoil the child?"

Me, personally, I take that to mean ANY form of discipline. Some people believe that it is speaking of a rod (disciplinary tool, could be your hand), and actually spanking your child.
For the 8 millionth time that is NOT a Biblical quote. It comes from a burlesque poem

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Originally Posted by Fairycat View Post
I will probably get some flames for this, but for me personally, first time obedience scares me. Many studies and my own personal experience has shown that those who learn to obey without thinking (which is the goal with first time obedience), tend to be more likely to be groomed by child molesters, fall into abuse situations and in general tend to not follow their own instincts as adults and get themselves into some very bad situations.

Even more common, these are the people who will always have issues with saying, "No" to people in authority positions, meaning that they will do things to please others even at a determent to their own well being. Personally that and the amount of cut off from "the real world" that raising godly tomatos promotes, I just can not follow this type of teaching.

For me we will not spank, why? Because to me it taught me and those I saw around me to be sneaky, and untrusting of their parents. The best behaved kids I knew were raised by parents who did not spank, so I ask their parents for advice.

My other oddity is that a bunch of studies showed that most all people involved with BDSM and other spanking ******es were spanked, and that the tie is strong to spankings leading to interest in this kink and that is just weird to me. Not against people having this kink but the tie to parental punishment tied in, is weird to me.
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Originally Posted by ktmelody View Post
Yup.

Spanking has been proven to increase violent behaviors, delinquincy, truancy, anti social behavior and mental illness.

I would love to see a real study that proves otherwise.



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Originally Posted by ~happy2Bamommy~ View Post
I believe I may have to save this one.

I like it just as well as my train wreck but yours is bigger (and bigger is better!)



I wondered when the train would show up!

We don't spank. All of my education and all of my experience tells me that at best it does not work and at worst it's harmful.

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Old 01-16-2013, 08:03 PM   #182
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Re: The spanking debate.

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Originally Posted by Joyful Tie Dyes View Post
For the 8 millionth time that is NOT a Biblical quote. It comes from a burlesque poem
Funny... I don't remember saying it could be found in the bible. I was simply using it because it's a common "saying" that people go by. My dad is an ordained minister. I'm well aware it's not in the bible. Not word for word.

ETA: I will not start arguing bible verses with you, just so you know. Any response to this where we are arguing what is/isn't found in the bible will be ignored by me. Thanks!

Last edited by leyash; 01-16-2013 at 08:06 PM.
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Old 01-16-2013, 08:03 PM   #183
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Re: The spanking debate.

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Originally Posted by Joyful Tie Dyes View Post
For the 8 millionth time that is NOT a Biblical quote. It comes from a burlesque poem.
You are correct. But the Bible does definitely encourage parents to discipline their children, not necessarily to spank, but for sure to be firm and consistent.

http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/spare_...poil_the_child





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Last edited by Kiliki; 01-16-2013 at 08:05 PM.
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Old 01-16-2013, 08:04 PM   #184
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Re: The spanking debate.

And just, FTR.

Proverbs 13:24

That's all.
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Old 01-16-2013, 08:05 PM   #185
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Just for clarification:

Proverbs 13:24
New King James Version (NKJV)
24 He who spares his rod hates his son,
But he who loves him disciplines him promptly.
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Old 01-16-2013, 08:06 PM   #186
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We spank. We do not spank out of anger...no whacks out of nowhere, that make a kid cringe anytime to come near. Our children are not in any way afraid of us. They are very affectionate with both dh and I.

At our house, it goes like this. <Cue spank worthy offense...let's say direct disobedience>
"Go to your room" (or the bathroom or guest room, somewhere private). At this point, they know they have done something wrong. How do they know? Because we don't spank for random annoying things they do or for accidents...we spank for direct disobedience, lying, and major disrespect/defiance.
Once I get to their room (which may be a few minutes, especially if I am upset...I give myself time to calm down and evaluate what punishment/consequence is appropriate), I ask them what they did to get sent to their room. If they can't tell me, and I really think they didn't hear me when I instructed them, I don't spank. When they can tell me exactly what they did wrong, I know that they understand. I might ask them what the Bible says (like " Children obey your parents").
I spank them.
After the spanking, we talk again about why what they did was wrong, they apologize, we hug and kiss and get on with our day.
I have noticed a much sweeter attitude in my kids after we deal with the bad behavior and move on, as opposed to ignoring a temper tantrum or giving warnings on end with no follow through in sight.

To answer a pp's question, I was 24 when my first was born, and will be 31 in April. My kids are 6,3, and 2 (never spanked). I have my bachelor's in elementary education. And dh has a master's. Not sure if the implication was that young uneducated people tend towards spanking, but I don't think that's the case.
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Old 01-16-2013, 08:06 PM   #187
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Re: The spanking debate.

Mannn.. go figure. It's not even spanking that's going to get this thread locked. It's a religious debate! lol
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Old 01-16-2013, 08:09 PM   #188
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Quote:
Originally Posted by leyash
Mannn.. go figure. It's not even spanking that's going to get this thread locked. It's a religious debate! lol
Gotta be something! It's a record 13 pages!
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Old 01-16-2013, 08:25 PM   #189
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I have spanked and I have not spanked. I think as many people described it like H2BAM and others is how I feel and strive to achieve. When I feel I cannot do this effectively, I do not spank,

As an aside, I did spank my older kids, and when my 2 1/2 yr old has gotten completely out of hand, my 18 yr old has asked why I didn't give him a spanking and proceeds to remind me how effective it was for him, that he never felt abused or unloved and that he (and his siblings) have turned out marvelously- polite, obedient, etc.
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Old 01-16-2013, 08:33 PM   #190
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Re: The spanking debate.

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Originally Posted by ~happy2Bamommy~ View Post
Got a new wrinkle in your brain today huh
Learn something new every day, right?

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Originally Posted by ~happy2Bamommy~ View Post
I believe I may have to save this one.

I like it just as well as my train wreck but yours is bigger (and bigger is better!)

Aha! My fav smiley of all. I can't remember if it was you or Sally who first introduced it.
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