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Old 01-18-2013, 03:13 PM   #21
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I only had PPD with my son's birth. I can remember feeling really disconnected from him, and angry with everyone. I can remember changing his diaper and looking at him and thinking that I didn't FEEL anything - he was just a baby to me, a baby whose diaper I was changing. ... and how terrible I was for that. I cried - a LOT - usually by myself.

With both of my daughters, I had the baby blues for a bit, but nothing really bad.

I am a tad concerned b/c I am having another boy this time, and I wonder if the hormones of boy vs girl are what caused the PPD?

Or if it was just a bad combo of the timing of our first son ----- we had just moved from HI to FL, DH found a job, then I got pg, then he lost that job, found another one, started school full time AND working full time, and I saw him maybe 3-4 hours PER WEEK, plus I then lived right near my family, which was difficult for me ----- and the disconnect I was feeling with DH at the time, combined with having a VERY high needs baby?

I don't know, but it kind of worries me. I've definitely had some gloomier than "normal" moments during this pregnancy, which made me think "uh-oh"...

This time I have been vocal with some close friends about my concerns. I have asked them to come check on me, spend time with me, give me a call, etc. in the weeks after birth. I've told a handful of them about my PPD after my first son, and asked for them to look out for me.

I plan to rest longer after giving birth this time. After all 3 of my previous babies, I was up and moving and doing things pretty much immediately. This time, I WILL rest longer. I've asked DH to make sure this happens. I asked him to dote on me and please insist that I rest.

Overall, my life is much different now, so I hope that will help, too. DH works full time but is no longer in school, and we live farther away from my family. (whom I love VERY much and am VERY close to, but just can't handle being so close to them)

Anyway, those are the things I am going to TRY. I won't eat my placenta, I won't stop BFing (I actually found BFing to help, personally), and I won't go to a counselor unless I start thinking of harming someone.... so those were the practical steps I could think of....

sorry this was so long
I get it. I didn't want to see a counselor either but all the natural things I tried weren't helping and I did not want antidepressants. My husband found a biblical counselor and while she hasn't dealt with ppd specifically she's been a tremendous help. I didn't want to stop breast feeding either but depression combined with weight loss it was the best decision I could make at the time. I think I had really low estrogen and weaning helped it come back to a more normal level. But try getting a dr to check your hormones while you're nursing...

My fried had ppd with her first son and not her daughters (daughter, son, daughter, son). Not sure how she's doing after her second son. I do think the different hormones play a part.

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Old 01-18-2013, 10:18 PM   #22
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Re: How to try to avoid ppd?

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I get it. I didn't want to see a counselor either but all the natural things I tried weren't helping and I did not want antidepressants. My husband found a biblical counselor and while she hasn't dealt with ppd specifically she's been a tremendous help. I didn't want to stop breast feeding either but depression combined with weight loss it was the best decision I could make at the time. I think I had really low estrogen and weaning helped it come back to a more normal level. But try getting a dr to check your hormones while you're nursing...

My fried had ppd with her first son and not her daughters (daughter, son, daughter, son). Not sure how she's doing after her second son. I do think the different hormones play a part.
I appreciate your insight.

I hope you don't think for a second that I was attacking you for doing what you needed to do! If it seemed that way, please know that is not how it was intended at all! We all have to do whatever is necessary for us to be the best moms we can be. I would never fault a mom for doing what she felt she needed to do.
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Old 01-19-2013, 07:28 AM   #23
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I had severe ppd with my first I wasn't detached at all from him but every other area of my life was effected. Hindsight is what it is and with my next I took a very low dose of anti-depressants from about 3 months before he was born till 6 months after and it helped tremendously.


I started the same regimen last month and will do it again for this baby I know I'm a better mom when my heads on straight.
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Old 01-19-2013, 07:33 AM   #24
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I appreciate your insight.

I hope you don't think for a second that I was attacking you for doing what you needed to do! If it seemed that way, please know that is not how it was intended at all! We all have to do whatever is necessary for us to be the best moms we can be. I would never fault a mom for doing what she felt she needed to do.
Not at all
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Old 01-19-2013, 07:42 AM   #25
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My advice is exactly what I am doing. I started seeing my counselor once a week again. I've been seeing her since November when I hit 10 weeks. I am very glad that I did this. I am already feeling very disconnected from my baby, so she is helping me through this right now.

I'm definitely looking into placenta encapsulation. I am about 99% sure that I will get PPD this time as well. I had it terribly with my daughter. I was 19 and a single mother when she was born. I was also so determined that breastfeeding was going to work, so I didn't know how to handle the hard part of breastfeeding. It was supposed to be easy and natural, right?

Wrong. I felt like such a failure when I started supplementing, then eventually doing both breast and formula feedings. My failure led to some bad depression and there were days I felt like leaving because she deserved better than me. On the outside, I was happy. On the inside, I wanted to give up. I told my OB and he referred me to a counselor and she helped me so much then. In hindsight, I wish I had tried medicine, but I didn't.

I know there were more factors to my PPD, but my biggest contributor was my failure to breastfeed as long as I wanted.
Can you try to pinpoint anything that may have made things worse? I am already preparing my breastfeeding kit, just in case.
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Old 01-19-2013, 05:12 PM   #26
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I'm glad this thread has branched out like it did. I hope others are able to get some help and support.

I didn't feel disconnected from DD. It was where I had to do everything I didn't want anyone else to help. If she was crying I had to take care of her. Breastfeeding didn't work out. I got sick right after I had her and I couldn't feed her while I was in the hospital on a cocktail of antibiotics. And by the time I was able to she refused no matter what I did. There was a lot of frustration and disappointment. I felt like an awful mother. There was more, but that's the jist of it. Oh and I had a terrible experience in the hospital.
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Old 01-19-2013, 08:17 PM   #27
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Re: How to try to avoid ppd?

Well, I didn't avoid it. But, I do think that one thing that helped me get out of it was that my husband started asking me "Were you nice to yourself today?" That was huge, because it got me asking myself that same question several times a day when I would start in on the panic, desperate dark feelings, and disconnect. It also made me feel like if he was asking me that question, with genuine and earnest undertones, maybe I wasn't treating myself fairly. After all, if I really was as terrible of a mother as I thought, wouldn't he be in the perfect position to see it? But he didn't think that, he thought I was doing a great job. It set me on the path to feeling better.

Try asking yourself or having your DH/SO ask you if you were nice to yourself today. Think about how you treated yourself that day. It helps.
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Old 01-19-2013, 08:29 PM   #28
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Re: How to try to avoid ppd?

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Thanks for the info. I haven't checked the links yet, but can I take that remedy at any time? Or just when not pregnant?
It's a homeopathic, so you can take it any time - pregnant, nursing, whenever.
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Old 01-19-2013, 10:16 PM   #29
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I'm glad this thread has branched out like it did. I hope others are able to get some help and support.

I didn't feel disconnected from DD. It was where I had to do everything I didn't want anyone else to help. If she was crying I had to take care of her. Breastfeeding didn't work out. I got sick right after I had her and I couldn't feed her while I was in the hospital on a cocktail of antibiotics. And by the time I was able to she refused no matter what I did. There was a lot of frustration and disappointment. I felt like an awful mother. There was more, but that's the jist of it. Oh and I had a terrible experience in the hospital.
Your story sounds very similar to mine. For me, I kept hemorrhaging after I had DS and was in and out of the hospital on different drug cocktails. All of these doctors and nurses were seeing me and everyone was telling me that they were affecting my supply (which completely plummeted after the first hemorrhage). I was on a bunch of hormones and drugs to make me stop bleeding and fix the source of the bleeding. And my OB kept trying to get me to take Reglan to increase milk production. Those drugs weren't my ideal choice but they were what was needed right then. I drew the line at Reglan. I really wanted to bf but really, I felt like this was my body's way of saying that it just couldn't do it, even though it was doing it in the beginning very well. I wasn't willing to add any more physical stress to my body and felt like I was at my wit's end. I feel like the hemorrhaging and bf were my two biggest triggers. I honestly think bf is best but I get really sick of seeing women guilting other women if it isn't working. I really hope mamas who had an easy go of things can learn to lay off others as they don't know what some mamas go through. I hope and pray this delivery will be better. I will be trying to bf again but am determined to quit if I just can't handle it. Also, my OB and I are discussing doing a c-section this time due to my past uterine surgery and bleeding issues. I'm hopeful for a much calmer postpartum with this one which I think should make things easier. My anxiety level is already through the roof, though, as it was such a scary time on many fronts.

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Old 01-20-2013, 04:46 AM   #30
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I also just wanted to say something re: the feeling if detachment from your baby. I felt a bit that way at first. DH seemed so enamored by him and I was just so exhausted and drained from my long labor. I loved my baby but I remember feeling incredibly guilty because I didn't feel like I loved him any diffetentlu than I love my close friends' kids or any other children I am close to (that changed, of course). Anyway, I also felt like a terrible mother because, deep down, I was longing for some sense of normalcy. I just wanted a good night's sleep, a decent meal that I could keep down (I was terribly nauseous and vomiting due to exhaustion) and a little normal time with DH. And he just wanted to gush over the baby. Anyway, I broke down on a friend right after we came home about all of this and she sort of laughed at me (in a good way) and reassured me that all of this was normal. And that soon, everything would be normal again and that hormones were messing with me. I felt much, much better to hear this reassurance from someone I trusted. I had been feeling like an awful mother for this and a selfish human being. Somehow, , just knowing that it was okay to be me too, made me feel more attached to my baby. That may be really weird but it is how I felt.

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