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Old 01-20-2013, 05:17 PM   #11
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Re: Play date etiquette ??

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Alternatively, I'd probably call and say that I have x extra kids and suggest that she & her daughter come over for a playdate/coffee, then after you see how they interact together (esp with the communication), you'll know whether you're comfortable leaving your daughter at her house or not. If they were in school together all day, I'd probably be a little less concerned, but since their only interaction is at dance class, I would be more cautious.
I think in your situation that is the best way to go. I would also be a bit annoyed if a mom with 4 other kids just stayed. I totally understand why you would want to but without chatting with her about it I wouldn't assume it's ok. Definitely at that age I would just be expecting a drop off.

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Old 01-20-2013, 05:40 PM   #12
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Re: Play date etiquette ??

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Alternatively, I'd probably call and say that I have x extra kids and suggest that she & her daughter come over for a playdate/coffee, then after you see how they interact together (esp with the communication), you'll know whether you're comfortable leaving your daughter at her house or not. If they were in school together all day, I'd probably be a little less concerned, but since their only interaction is at dance class, I would be more cautious.
this is exactly what I would do
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Old 01-20-2013, 05:50 PM   #13
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Re: Play date etiquette ??

Wow- I'm thinking now how can I back out of this . I just ... I'm not ready to drop off my 6 yr old at a strangers house. We only know them from dance and I've never even talked to the mom or kid before. I don't even let my 9 yr old go to people we know alone much my 6 yr old. There's like 3 families total in our lives I trust alone with my kids. Call it bad experiences growing up, paranoia, whatever but hmmm no. Sigh. How do I politely tell this mom all that without looking like a crazy?
BFF was easy- we both had 5 kids and we just played together lol. Hate that she moved and I know I need to let my kids make new friends but its REALLY hard with the communication barrier.
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Old 01-20-2013, 05:53 PM   #14
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Re: Play date etiquette ??

I would just ask the other mom, that way, no confusion. I only do playdates that involve all the kids in the family no matter the age.
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Old 01-20-2013, 06:11 PM   #15
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Re: Play date etiquette ??

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Wow- I'm thinking now how can I back out of this . I just ... I'm not ready to drop off my 6 yr old at a strangers house. We only know them from dance and I've never even talked to the mom or kid before. I don't even let my 9 yr old go to people we know alone much my 6 yr old. There's like 3 families total in our lives I trust alone with my kids. Call it bad experiences growing up, paranoia, whatever but hmmm no. Sigh. How do I politely tell this mom all that without looking like a crazy?
BFF was easy- we both had 5 kids and we just played together lol. Hate that she moved and I know I need to let my kids make new friends but its REALLY hard with the communication barrier.
Just tell the mom you're a little concerned with your daughter going over because she's deaf and were wondering if the play date could be at your house for the first time. That way you can get to know the mom better and then you leave it open for a future play date if you feel more comfortable. Or if there's something fun you've been wanting to do, maybe you could invite the mom and daughter to come a long.
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Old 01-20-2013, 06:18 PM   #16
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Re: Play date etiquette ??

My dd is 6. When we do playdates, some people drop off and some don't. I never drop off b/c my dd has life-threatening food allergies. But I just explain to the other parent that, because of her medical issues, I don't do drop-offs and that I'm happy to bring a book or work and they don't need to feel compelled to entertain me.

I wouldn't care at all if another parent wanted to stay. I WOULD care if they brought a bunch of kids without telling me ahead of time. I would just chat with the mom and see what she had in mind. If you're not comfortable with a drop-off and don't have care for your other kids, why not just invite them over to your house?
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Old 01-20-2013, 06:27 PM   #17
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Originally Posted by erin_c_odonnell
Wow- I'm thinking now how can I back out of this . I just ... I'm not ready to drop off my 6 yr old at a strangers house. We only know them from dance and I've never even talked to the mom or kid before. I don't even let my 9 yr old go to people we know alone much my 6 yr old. There's like 3 families total in our lives I trust alone with my kids. Call it bad experiences growing up, paranoia, whatever but hmmm no. Sigh. How do I politely tell this mom all that without looking like a crazy?
BFF was easy- we both had 5 kids and we just played together lol. Hate that she moved and I know I need to let my kids make new friends but its REALLY hard with the communication barrier.
GOOD FOR YOU for feeling this way!! I am one of those protective moms...I don't even leave my son in our church's nursery. For me, my NUMBER ONE priority is protecting my child, no matter who I may offend.

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Old 01-20-2013, 10:14 PM   #18
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Re: Play date etiquette ??

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Originally Posted by erin_c_odonnell View Post
Wow- I'm thinking now how can I back out of this . I just ... I'm not ready to drop off my 6 yr old at a strangers house. We only know them from dance and I've never even talked to the mom or kid before. I don't even let my 9 yr old go to people we know alone much my 6 yr old. There's like 3 families total in our lives I trust alone with my kids. Call it bad experiences growing up, paranoia, whatever but hmmm no. Sigh. How do I politely tell this mom all that without looking like a crazy?
BFF was easy- we both had 5 kids and we just played together lol. Hate that she moved and I know I need to let my kids make new friends but its REALLY hard with the communication barrier.
I am with you 100%. My DS is 6 and I wouldn't drop him either - until I really know the parents REALLY well, and the home, etc. No way. Is there a way you can have someone watch your other 4 while you attend the playdate with your DD? I say this having never had a babysitter myself LOL (same paranoia/trust issues). I would schedule the play date for a day when, say, your DH is able to stay home with the others. You don't have to explain yourself to the other mom - your DD is 6, and you hardly know this woman. Communication issues/concerns can be your excuse if you meet resistance or feel the need to have a *reason* to stay with her, but you don't. You are her mom, she is a child. How would she feel being left in a virtual strangers home?
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Old 01-20-2013, 10:26 PM   #19
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If I was the other mom, I would prefer to be told these concerns rather than just avoided/dropped. Cause she might really be reaching out to you and your kid and really want you guys as friends.

I'd call, explain the 5 kids and say 'why don't you guys come here?'. Or a neutral place.
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Old 01-20-2013, 11:00 PM   #20
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Re: Play date etiquette ??

I am amazed so many mamas would leave their 6 year old with what amounts to a total stranger. Definitely suggest calling and talking to the other mama. I also agree with the posters that suggest having the play date at your house.
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