Play date etiquette ??

[z2akids]

Well, OP's original post did not indicate that this person was a complete stranger. No, I wouldn't drop my 6 year old off at a complete strangers. However, I also would not bring my 4 additional children there. I agree with other posters -- offer to have the playdate at your home and invite the mom to stay for coffee. Or have it at a park or other play place. It sounds like you could really use some additional people in your life given your friend moving away. This is a great opportunity.

However, my daughter is 7. She has several friends from gymnastics. The moms and I usually stick around and chat while the kids are practicing. At this point, I would very likely let my daughter go to a drop off playdate at the homes of the girls she is becoming friends with.

[raisingcropsandbabies]

Hmmm, playdates around here mean the mom+all the kids come over or vice versa. But the circle I hang out with tend to homeschool so it's kind of a given a mom will have all her kids with her. But even my non-hs friends are of the same mind.
So I would just check with her and if she meant only you and daughter (which would never work for us... would not get a babysitter for playdate!!!), I would offer to have the mom come to your house.

If the friends are very trusted, I might offer to drop one of my boys off; but only if they are very trusted. The older boys have been to 2 different friends' houses without me and loved it, but I would never be comfortable with that if we had just met the parents.

[I_run_with_scissors]

Normally i would say that you should just drop your 6 year old off, but given there might be some communication problems i would probably call the other mom and say "hey i have 5 kids and no one to babysit that day, could you and your daughter come here instead?" then you can get to know mom and decide if next time youd be comfortable just leaving DD at her home

[swrlgrl105]

I completely agree with you, I wouldnt just drop my 6 year old off either with someone who i dont know at all.. Im leary of strangers. If you are worried about how to back out or polietly tell her you want to do it at your house first, how about you propose it as "Seeing as this is DD's first ever play date and she is only 6 AND is deaf, it would really be easier on us if you and your DD could join us at our house the first time around so DD and I can get to know you and your DD better, plus it would help me feel more comfortable that she can communicate with you a bit if Im not around next time, plus it's hard for me to get a sitter for my other little ones, but we would love to have you over for palying and snacks!"... or something along those lines.

Im sure she will understand since her DD is the same age and since she doesnt know you either, can understand why you dont want to leave her with a stranger, plus if she has a communication barrier with them. Just level with her and Im sure she will be fine.

And if they come over and you dont like her, then you know, and it was on your turf, and if she is wonderful, good to know... but at 6, I wouldnt leave my kid unless this woman became your best friend lol.

You could also do future play date at places like the park and stuff where your other LO's can go too.

[Nerissa]

Maybe this mom is in the same situation as you and trying to make friends with you and each of your DD being in dance is a good ice breaker.

Personally I would call the mom up and talk to her. Tell her your concerns and see if you can agree to a different location, your house or a park or playground where the kids can play and you two can chat. Explain that for the first get together you are not comfortable leaving your DD. I am sure she will understand especially since she doesnt know you either.

[Mom2Connor]

I personally am not sure I'd just drop DS off at 6, but that wasn't really the issue at hand. The issue is that the other mom has ONE child and may not realize that when you have multiples, they will ALL be attending. I think she probably is not expecting all the kids to be there and this needs to be talked about ahead of time.

[Geckmumto3]

Originally Posted by I_run_with_scissors Normally i would say that you should just drop your 6 year old off, but given there might be some communication problems i would probably call the other mom and say "hey i have 5 kids and no one to babysit that day, could you and your daughter come here instead?" then you can get to know mom and decide if next time youd be comfortable just leaving DD at her home

This is what I would do. Don't cancel. Playdates can be a great way for moms to make friends, too.

[erin_c_odonnell]

Thanks ladies!! You all gave me good insight. I emailed the mom last night and asked and she was very nice! Turns out she's just as nervous as me cause she doesn't know anyone deaf
We're going to try me and dd1 going and staying. Next time I'll invite her over or offer a play at bounce house or something

[EmilytheStrange]

Originally Posted by erin_c_odonnell Thanks ladies!! You all gave me good insight. I emailed the mom last night and asked and she was very nice! Turns out she's just as nervous as me cause she doesn't know anyone deaf We're going to try me and dd1 going and staying. Next time I'll invite her over or offer a play at bounce house or something

Yay! Love it when things turn out like this.

[Junipervt]

Originally Posted by EmilytheStrange If I was the other mom, I would prefer to be told these concerns rather than just avoided/dropped. Cause she might really be reaching out to you and your kid and really want you guys as friends. I'd call, explain the 5 kids and say 'why don't you guys come here?'. Or a neutral place.