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Old 01-28-2013, 01:16 PM   #1331
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Question for those that live in areas with really high circumcision rates: how do you protect your son from people retracting him. I've read horror stories from local moms who have had medical professionals retract the foreskin (along with pushing circumcision while there for a separate medical problem). I am concerned that if my boy ever needs extra medical attention (hospital admission) or to go to a daycare that someone will hurt him. How damaging is it if it occurs? Any stats for men who were forcibly retracted as children and needed circumcision later?

Also, for those with some sons in tact and some circ'ed, but close in age. Did it seem a more delicate situation since the brothers are more similarly sized/aged?

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Old 01-29-2013, 08:39 AM   #1332
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Originally Posted by joeslittlewoman
Question for those that live in areas with really high circumcision rates: how do you protect your son from people retracting him. I've read horror stories from local moms who have had medical professionals retract the foreskin (along with pushing circumcision while there for a separate medical problem). I am concerned that if my boy ever needs extra medical attention (hospital admission) or to go to a daycare that someone will hurt him. How damaging is it if it occurs? Any stats for men who were forcibly retracted as children and needed circumcision later?

Also, for those with some sons in tact and some circ'ed, but close in age. Did it seem a more delicate situation since the brothers are more similarly sized/aged?
When we go to the doctor, I make sure and tell the nurse. Our last appointment, I did not tell the pedi, and she began to try to retract. I immediately put me hand over hers and said stop. We don't retract. She immediately quit and said okay. That was the closest call we've had in 20 months.

I told everyone who was watching him that the recommendation now is no retraction and to leave his penis alone.

I spoke with our daycare provider, and she said they don't "handle" the goods at all. They will not retract even if asked.

The key is to educate anyone who may potentially change your child's diaper. I repeated myself every time I left him for months.

You may want to check out thewholenetwork.org. They have great resources for caring for the intact penis.

Hope this helps!
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Old 01-29-2013, 08:54 AM   #1333
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^^that does help. I just get so worried I will miss telling someone, or there will be a new nursery worker, or something. I need to search for info today on what happens if he is retracted early. What are the odds it will create a bigger problem for him?
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Old 01-29-2013, 09:55 AM   #1334
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^^that does help. I just get so worried I will miss telling someone, or there will be a new nursery worker, or something. I need to search for info today on what happens if he is retracted early. What are the odds it will create a bigger problem for him?
Basically the issue is adhesions. You ars ripping skin apart that isn't meant to come apart yet. So it can create scar tissue.

It kind of is a big deal. I just repeat myself till I'm blue in the face. There is an intact care agreement I have upstairs. Ill look and see where its from. You and the care provider go over care and then you both sign it. There is also stickers you can put on diapers that say "intact. Do not retract!".

The biggest issue we had was with DS 's old ped. At his 12 mo appt she tried to retract him. I caught her and pinched the skin and pulled it back up. She seriously kept trying to pull it down. We were screaming at each other...it was bad. She finally let go and went one to talk about cleaning and the foreskin getting stuck forward. She was so ignorant to the intact penis I reported her when I left! That made me even more paranoid. From then one I would change a diaper to show the cars provider. Explain what to do and pray they listened.

Good luck and good for you for leaving you DS in control of his own body!

I'm mobile.... sorry for the typos!
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Old 01-29-2013, 10:09 AM   #1335
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Thanks! I'm going to have to get my mama bear instinct revved up. I am normally a very gentle, passive person, so I have some work to do so I set the boundaries effectively.
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Old 01-29-2013, 10:35 AM   #1336
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I've never used it because we never left DS with anyone other than family who knew how to care for it but had he ever been in daycare I would have used this in a heart beat.

Intact Care Agreement. I hope this helps with some of the anxiety
http://www.mothersagainstcirc.org/care.htm

I'm mobile.... sorry for the typos!
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Old 01-29-2013, 01:43 PM   #1337
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Thanks! I'm going to have to get my mama bear instinct revved up. I am normally a very gentle, passive person, so I have some work to do so I set the boundaries effectively.
You are your son's advocate. Never assume that your son's doctor will not retract. I was lucky that she dropped the issue and let go. I would definitely write no retraction on his diapers. You could label them for anyone watching your son. Of course, that doesn't take the place of speaking with them also. Most people don't know not to. It is what was always done. It does lead to adhesions. Kudos for giving your son the choice!
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Old 01-29-2013, 03:47 PM   #1338
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Re: Top ten reasons not to circumcise your son

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Thanks! I'm going to have to get my mama bear instinct revved up. I am normally a very gentle, passive person, so I have some work to do so I set the boundaries effectively.
You'll have to keep your guard up for a while. At my DS's 4 year well check the ped tried to retract him. I got upset. She told me he'd have to be circ'd if he wasn't retractable, blah, blah, blah. We never went back to her. Her ignorance still bothers me.
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Old 01-29-2013, 07:37 PM   #1339
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I haven't read through all of this thread...only about 8 pgs. But I did want to say thanks for posting it.
3 years ago we had our son after having 4 girls. DH was set on getting him circ'd for the sole reason that "he is and his dad isnt and his dads looks nasty".
When ds was born at home I thought he perfect. He was perfect. Because we had a HB nobody locally would do it. My midwife said if we wanted it done we would have to travel 3 hours to a,rabi who does it. She explained that the way he did it was less painful, less bloody. Ect..that it took only a couple minutes....while a doc could take up to 30 min.
if every mother had to watch their baby endure such agony there would be far less circumcision going on. The Rabi laughed and joked and at one point even said "ooopps I cut his penis off" all the while my nb was screaming his head off in a way I have never heard a baby scream. They handed him to me and told me to nurse him. He wouldn't nurse all he could do was cry. My heart was broken and I felt like I failed to protect my baby. They injured his legs the way they held him down and for a week at least he cried when he moved his hips. He screamed everytime I changed his diaper and everytime he pee'd for what seemed like forever until it healed. He cried for at least 3 hours non stop after the procedure and I sobbed as well. For months I struggled with myself for allowing that to happen to my son.
And from what I understand...i had a "good, normal" experiance with it.
I have another son coming soon. He will not be circ'd.
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Old 01-29-2013, 07:52 PM   #1340
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Re: Top ten reasons not to circumcise your son

Luckily for us our last Ped was European, so he knew not to retract his foreskin. But otherwise I would just tell the nurse and Ped that he is intact and to not retract. Make sure you stand next to the examining (sp) bed while they are doing their exams. At daycare you just say the same thing.
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