Hypothetically if your daycare provider.....

[mibarra]

Pediatricians are NOTORIOUS for under referring kids. Your DCP sees your child EVERY DAY usually. You're ped for 5 minutes a few times a year, if that. If an experienced DCP raised concerns with me, I would absolutely listen to them. It was my SIL (my daycare at the time) that first raised concerns about DD1, and guess what, she's deaf.

It will depend on the parent. I think as a child care provider I would expect you to raise any concerns. Some parents will listen. Others will think you're nuts. But at least you did what you could. Maybe mention casually there are many free state programs to get testing just to be sure. But if parent isn't interested there's not much you can do.

[momgoddesswife]

I wouldn't be offended but I have 2 children with special needs so that brings a different perspective.

I wonder if the child is just behind because they have no siblings and no children related to them or close by, besides the other children at the DCP, to interact with.

Many only children and oldest out of cousins etc. are a little "delayed" when it comes to social interaction an milestones. They don't have anyone to learn from and are often not challenged to use what language they have because they are mostly in contact with adults.

If I was the Mom I would ask for a hearing test though. I would be happy that the doctor has no concerns but continue to watch my child and monitor their development and if needed bring up the concerns again in a couple months.

[escapethevillage]

Originally Posted by GreyMum ETA: I am still super not understanding why this mom is not wanting at least an evaluation done! It's free, it's easy, and it's actually fun for the kid too! And, you do not, at least in my state, need a referral from a physician.

She says her pediatrician refused. She asked at Christmas time, he said "daycare providers don't understand child development". So, she said "O.K" and went home. But, he has another appt tomorrow for a weight check. (he's very small)

So, I want to suggest she at least ask to have his hearing checked. I don't need to send the test home with her. I was just wondering how a parent would feel if I sent home something like that with them.

[kaia.aline]

Originally Posted by escapethevillage No. The test is in a folder. I would let the mom take it home and look at it. She could check off the boxes if she wanted, or just take it with her to the doctor. I meant that if I DID ask him to do these things "put the toy on the table" that I would have to use hand gestures. Which the test specifically says not to do.

Ok i misread what you wrote.

[GreyMum]

Originally Posted by escapethevillage She says her pediatrician refused. She asked at Christmas time, he said "daycare providers don't understand child development". So, she said "O.K" and went home. But, he has another appt tomorrow for a weight check. (he's very small) So, I want to suggest she at least ask to have his hearing checked. I don't need to send the test home with her. I was just wondering how a parent would feel if I sent home something like that with them.

When my daughter had her birth to three evaluation done, they sent her for a hearing test. They did not really suspect a hearing issue (she was a little over 1 at the time), but they said it was standard to have it done just to rule out hearing issues.

Honestly, I would probably print off some birth to three info, whatever the phone number is for your region, and suggest that she call.

Is he speaking? You mentioned he doesn't have language skills, but maybe I misunderstand.

My daughter could not say three words at age 1, so my pedi suggested birth to three. One of my daughter's teachers actually expressed several times that she didn't think she had a language issue, which actually made me feel guilty for having her in the program! But, I loved this particular teacher otherwise, so just brushed it off, and kept her in the program for as long as DH and I deemed necessary.

[jbug_4]

Originally Posted by escapethevillage She says her pediatrician refused. She asked at Christmas time, he said "daycare providers don't understand child development". So, she said "O.K" and went home. But, he has another appt tomorrow for a weight check. (he's very small) So, I want to suggest she at least ask to have his hearing checked. I don't need to send the test home with her. I was just wondering how a parent would feel if I sent home something like that with them.

Rather than suggest why don't you ask if he has had his hearing checked recently? Say something like "has he had a hearing check recently? Sometimes it seems as if he can't hear me well and I just don't know if its selective hearing or if he is actually having trouble hearing." Passive aggressive is usually the best way to go when it comes to parents. Downplaying your knowledge, turning concerns into questions usually works well. For the test- I probably wouldn't even mention it, but if you are really concerned I would approach it as a question. Say something along the lines of "How do you feel like he's doing? Are you worried about his abilities?" something along that lines, maybe even an "He just doesn't seem up to the other kids his age". If she says yes she is worried or has wondered then tell her you have this development test you keep in your files for parents to use if they want to. Ask her is she would like to take it home. I would not tell her where you think he might stand on the test though. let her figure it out herself. If she says no then drop it. You can't make her seek help. Our doc actually requires us to fill out a 8 page development questonnaire that they grade. There are lots of them available on line as well.

Now for the original question- delivery makes all the difference. i wouldn't be offended at the first heads up. After that maybe, although I would still know that you are looking out for my child it can start to become judgy sounding. When I worked in a center we had one teacher that was always telling parents what was normal and not and what they should be doing- she meant well by it but it often mad parents angry.

[DesertRat]

Originally Posted by escapethevillage She says her pediatrician refused. She asked at Christmas time, he said "daycare providers don't understand child development". So, she said "O.K" and went home. But, he has another appt tomorrow for a weight check. (he's very small) So, I want to suggest she at least ask to have his hearing checked. I don't need to send the test home with her. I was just wondering how a parent would feel if I sent home something like that with them.

If you think she'd be receptive to it, send the test home. If she's in denial and is likely to be offended, then don't. But considering she brought up the concerns to the pediatrician, it sounds like she's open to finding out for sure if her child has delays.

[escapethevillage]

Originally Posted by GreyMum Is he speaking? You mentioned he doesn't have language skills, but maybe I misunderstand.

Not even "bye". He has one sound that he uses all the time. "Aaay-ay-aaay" He says that for everything. He points, so we understand him, he has ideas and knows what he wants, but, doesn't speak. At 24 months, he should have had a minimum of 50 words. (if you count words that he makes up, like "wa" for water) But, he's 27 months, and has NO words at all.

But, it's more than that. I call him to lunch, but, he doesn't come unless he sees the other kids come. I ask him to get his cup, and he just sits there. I am concerned that he either doesn't have any language skills, or he can't hear me.

But, it also makes me angry that the doctor would dismiss it based on what the "provider" said.

[kaia.aline]

I bet he needs tubes, I've known a couple of kids with major speech issues and once they got tubes it was a major improvement.

Could you send the test and developmental milestones home with ALL your daycare kids?

[raymark]

I view DCPs as being babysitters who are paid to care for my child according to my wishes. I believe that this parent has shown you that she does not want you self diagnosing, testing, or requesting additional medical testing for her child, yet you have continued to push your ideas upon her. If I was her I would find a new DCP.