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Old 01-31-2013, 01:44 PM   #51
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Re: Hypothetically if your daycare provider.....

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Sounds like she's saying that by reading through the test, she already knows what he's capable of doing vs a dr who would have to do it from step 1. She said if she was to do te table test, he would need a hand gesture based on her daily interaction with the child.

OP, personally, I would not be offended but I think a lot of parents are in denial of issues that need to be addressed sooner rather than later.

So yeah, I would appreciate the person who spends the most time with my child giving this info to me, I would not be upset in the least even if you outright DID the test.
a daycare provider spends, likely, 2/3 of a child's awake time with them. They are the person who WILL catch the behaviours/developmental issues that a parent might over look.

A HUGE to the pp above who said parents can sometimes be in denial.

I was a provider to a little girl. She had no words at 22m. She "w" sat even with constant re-direction, she had low muscle tone (so low that she couldn't climb the toddler slide, or onto the couch, or properly hold a cup). But the mom refused to have her evaluated. There was nothing I could do.

I don't know about "qualified" to give the test, but I know that at our PCP, all she does is ask if my child can do xyz. if I say yes, then she moves on. I could lie about all developmental milestones and no one would necessarily notice.

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Old 01-31-2013, 01:45 PM   #52
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Re: Hypothetically if your daycare provider.....

and I would totally NOT be offended if I had a CCP who brought a concern to my attention.
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Old 01-31-2013, 01:58 PM   #53
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Re: Hypothetically if your daycare provider.....

Since you worked in childcare for so long, do you know any pediatric therapists in your area on a personal level? If you do I would just talk to the Mom say you are concerned but you are not an expert. Here is a contact number to someone (please ask therapist's permission first) who has years of study and experience. (S)he can chat for a few minutes and if Mom then feels like there are concerns the therapist can help her set up a free more in depth developmental evaluation through EI. After that I would let the matter drop and not mention it again unless she does. I had to do this with my sister for her foster child. Unfortunately she did not follow through but since the child is in no real danger I have butted out of the process once she was given the contact information. You can only give parents the tools to get help, you can't make them get help.


By the way I call bull crap on you not being qualified to fill out a developmental evaluation as long as you have sufficiently interacted with him for at least a few weeks. The school therapists always had me fill one out on my son all they did was grade it according to an answer key. I do agree it very well might make Mom defensive which is why I suggested the above and then let the matter go since that is all you can do. The only time I advocate getting pushy is if a child is in potential danger due to a developmental or medical problem, then I feel trying to intervene is your ethical obligation as an adult. I am also in agreement with some of the other previous posters. I don't trust a regular pediatricians to do developmental evaluations during a routine office visit. I have never seen a pediatrician do anything close to what a person trained and professionally dedicated to this subject does during a real evaluation.
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Old 01-31-2013, 02:04 PM   #54
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Re: Hypothetically if your daycare provider.....

No, I would not be overly offended.

We get those tests at our pediatrician's office and I think they're very helpful. They usually give them to us an appt in advance so that we can do the activities with the child and see where they are developmentally.

BUT.... if you told me this, and then I talked to my pediatrician and told you that my pediatrician said everything was fine, then I'd probably want you to let it go.

assuming I have a good pediatrician that didn't just brush me off and actually discussed my concerns with me.

the things you listed in the OP don't strike me as any major red flags though. With the exception of the verbal. And unfortunately, some parents don't see verbal red flags. My cousin's child just started services for his speech at 2.5 because his parents (my cousin and her husband) didn't know any better and didn't know he was way way behind. He's in daycare and I sorta have to assume that some daycare provider somewhere brought it up to them. He was evaluated, he qualified and now he's speaking quite a bit.... more. but he has weekly sessions to work on this. It's so important to try and catch these things by the age of 3.
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Old 01-31-2013, 02:21 PM   #55
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Re: Hypothetically if your daycare provider.....

I guess in the end it depends how it is approached. If my DCP (I don't have one, I actually am one and a licensed prek-3 teacher) mentioned something to me, I took it to the Dr who then said they had no concerns and my DCP continued to tell me my DR was wrong it would rub me the wrong way.

It seems like you feel you know better than the Dr (in this case you very well might) but I can see that being off putting to the mom if she trusts her Dr.

I agree with whoever said mention things like "have you had his hearing checked?" I notice he doesn't respond when xyz, or he seems to not understand when I ask him whatever".

I would be defensive of someone trying to tell me something was wrong with my child instead of asking if I noticed certain things to, or just talking with me about things they notice.

It's all about how it's presented, but in the end if the mom doesn't want to do it, pushing her isn't going to make her do it, it will make her more defensive. So I would continue to mention things you notice every so often, but leave it there.

I would expect a DCP to present concerns, but not try to diagnose my kid. (not saying you are doing that, but presenting mom with a test could be interpreted that way)
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Old 01-31-2013, 02:52 PM   #56
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Re: Hypothetically if your daycare provider.....

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I am in a different boat. I have one son with aspergers, and a son and daughter with apraxia. None of them were caught before kindergarten (with my DD I did have her evaluated... 3 times by the school district and she tested "normal"). Anyway, I WISH someone had said to me that there was a problem. I'd bring it up, the ped would say the child was normal, and I'd walk away. They weren't normal. So, I'd be grateful.
Yep.

My son is delayed and I would not have been offended if our day care workers had mentioned something.

It could be that the mum knows that there is an issue and just doesn't want to admit it yet.

ETA: As for the doctor saying that there was no issue - a doctor sees a child once in awhile. A day care worker sees the child consistently. I would trust the day care workers intuition.

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