Deciding not to breast feed in advancei

[Hope4More]

Oops. Dp. I quoted myself to edit :/

[soonerfan]

Here's what I've found (and I can look back on myself and include me, too). Moms who are so gung ho and militant and martyrish about breast feeding are probably insecure in other areas or only have a mom identity at that point in their lives. They don't have much else to focus on or champion, so they rub in everyone's faces how fabulous they are for making milk, they have disdain for formula, and they put down those who don't breastfeed because it makes them feel superior.

Sure, breast is best and all that jazz. But formula is a great option, too, and no one needs to beat other moms (even those who *gasp* have a beer or go out with friends) over the head with their milky boobs.

[EmilytheStrange]

Originally Posted by Aubrey<3Gavin Oh my goodness, I can't believe I'm even jumping in on this drama...but an observation if I may. One of the themes that keeps coming up is about how you bond so much more with your child with bf as opposed to ff. why is one form of feeding more bonding than another? Isn't it the quality time we spend with our children not how we give them their meal how we bond? I'd be willing to bet almost all bf mommies here on ds have been playing on our phone posting on this forum at one point or another while we were nursing. Quality bonding right there.

I agree completely.

I held my baby for every bottle. Over a year. Still at 28 months, I hold her for her first milk of the day. Every morning, with few exceptions. I held her and bonded with her. I held her for 4 hour naps when she wouldn't sleep any other way from 16-22months old. Every day even though my back was killing me and I wasn't getting any 'me' time.

but I'm still a bad mom because we had breastfeeding issues. I still must not have a proper bond with her because I'm a complete and utter failure. I should be ashamed at myself. I should probably re-develop the PPD I had after she was born at my inability to deliver naturally and then breastfeed successfully.

it's weird how healthy she is.. especially with several ebf friends we have around here who's kids seem to get sick constantly. I'm sure that the only link between a healthy kid and a sickly kid is what you feed them when they're exclusively eating liquids. Genetics and other factors never come into play.

[Art mama]

Originally Posted by Aubrey<3Gavin Oh my goodness, I can't believe I'm even jumping in on this drama...but an observation if I may. One of the themes that keeps coming up is about how you bond so much more with your child with bf as opposed to ff. why is one form of feeding more bonding than another? Isn't it the quality time we spend with our children not how we give them their meal how we bond? I'd be willing to bet almost all bf mommies here on ds have been playing on our phone posting on this forum at one point or another while we were nursing. Quality bonding right there.

I am very pro breastfeeding...but even more pro moms choice. As far as this statement I do agree. My mom always blames my kids being do attached to me on nursing. But then she says they are attached like I was to her and I was formula fed lol

[bumminbeachbabe]

Originally Posted by soonerfan Here's what I've found (and I can look back on myself and include me, too). Moms who are so gung ho and militant and martyrish about breast feeding are probably insecure in other areas or only have a mom identity at that point in their lives. They don't have much else to focus on or champion, so they rub in everyone's faces how fabulous they are for making milk, they have disdain for formula, and they put down those who don't breastfeed because it makes them feel superior. Sure, breast is best and all that jazz. But formula is a great option, too, and no one needs to beat other moms (even those who *gasp* have a beer or go out with friends) over the head with their milky boobs.

I agree, but you had me laughing out loud over the idea of milky boobs being used to beat somebody over the head. If y'all have breasts that are large enough to do that while nursing I'm a smidge jealous

[Kätzchen]

I wasn't saying that formula is a toxic substance that babies do not thrive on, I was saying it is not human milk, therefore, it is a substitute and of a lesser quality. There is no denying that breastmilk is more nutritionally suited for human babies.

That said, many, many formula fed babies grow up to be very healthy and fit individuals, myself included. But that does not make the risks associated with formula feeding any less valid. And to be clear, I had a younger sibling die from NEC associated with formula use.

[soonerfan]

Originally Posted by bumminbeachbabe I agree, but you had me laughing out loud over the idea of milky boobs being used to beat somebody over the head. If y'all have breasts that are large enough to do that while nursing I'm a smidge jealous

Me, too! I couldn't smother or beat a mouse. In fact, that was one of my best nursing perks--filling out a bra for a while.

[aemarques]

I in no way intended to be judgmental. I am only saying those were standards I hold myself to for my daughter, not than anyone should or that I'd in any way want them to. I was saying FORMULA digusts ME. Not that women who formula feed disgust me.

I do however think that every woman should give breastfeeding a try. But obviously not if it would put the baby or mother in harm in ANY kind of way. And I do think women who CAN breastfeed, should put in a good effort because it is best for baby AND for mom.

I was only "judging" moms who care more about drinking/drugs/partying than having time to breastfeed or pump for their child.

I am still friends with every single friend who has chosen to formula feed, I have never put them down, or made them feel a bad parents for doing so.

I just feel that society has forgotten how truly important it is for a baby and for mother to breastfeed. The countless benefits of breastmilk and its importance are overlooked way too much, and formula is used for ease and convenience.

[ulawolf]

Originally Posted by aemarques I in no way intended to be judgmental. I am only saying those were standards I hold myself to for my daughter, not than anyone should or that I'd in any way want them to. I was saying FORMULA digusts ME. Not that women who formula feed disgust me. I do however think that every woman should give breastfeeding a try. But obviously not if it would put the baby or mother in harm in ANY kind of way. And I do think women who CAN breastfeed, should put in a good effort because it is best for baby AND for mom. I was only "judging" moms who care more about drinking/drugs/partying than having time to breastfeed or pump for their child. I am still friends with every single friend who has chosen to formula feed, I have never put them down, or made them feel a bad parents for doing so. I just feel that society has forgotten how truly important it is for a baby and for mother to breastfeed. The countless benefits of breastmilk and its importance are overlooked way too much, and formula is used for ease and convenience.

so why do you ned to judge them at all? Are these moms bad parents as in they abuse or neglect their children? I guess I would be applauding their choice to not bf. I know moms who go party and drink and then still nurse their babies.

Why in all honesty do you care how they see being fed?

[Kätzchen]

Originally Posted by aemarques I in no way intended to be judgmental. I am only saying those were standards I hold myself to for my daughter, not than anyone should or that I'd in any way want them to. I was saying FORMULA digusts ME. Not that women who formula feed disgust me. I do however think that every woman should give breastfeeding a try. But obviously not if it would put the baby or mother in harm in ANY kind of way. And I do think women who CAN breastfeed, should put in a good effort because it is best for baby AND for mom. I was only "judging" moms who care more about drinking/drugs/partying than having time to breastfeed or pump for their child. I am still friends with every single friend who has chosen to formula feed, I have never put them down, or made them feel a bad parents for doing so. I just feel that society has forgotten how truly important it is for a baby and for mother to breastfeed. The countless benefits of breastmilk and its importance are overlooked way too much, and formula is used for ease and convenience.

This this this.