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Old 02-01-2013, 08:20 AM   #201
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Re: Deciding not to breast feed in advancei

The two ABSOLUTELY PHENOMENAL mothers I know that didn't bf their kids just plain old didn't want to. One of them did decide to bf her fourth child and didn't mind it, but she never regretted bottle feeding the first three. She was a Marine when they were little and worked a lot, often going away for weeks at a time. The other didn't bf any of her five but pumped for the first 6 weeks for each one. Who cares?

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Old 02-01-2013, 09:00 AM   #202
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Re: Deciding not to breast feed in advancei

I have had to induce my milk supply with both of my kids, and my first was formula fed when he refused to nurse, lots of issues there but regardless, I was better educated the second time. Second baby only ever had human milk - from me and 7 donors, exclusively breastfed using a supplementer at the breast, tons of herbs and glacatagogues, and we were able to eventually do it with just my milk, no supplemental milk, and he self weaned at age 2.5 - it wasn't easy, but it was totally worth it.

I dealt with the guilt of formula feeding, the cost, and even the extra effort to make my own (I do believe that the commercial stuff is downright dangerous, even having used it for my own baby). So yeah, it burns me a bit when women who could otherwise nurse their babies with ease decide to not do it at all. I am not mad at them, personally, but I am a bit peeved that society makes it out to be okay, and an equal alternative to breastmilk. It's not! Sure, some people say "my formula fed kid is my healthier kid" but the long-term issue with formula use takes decades, even generations, to come to full light. The work of Dr. Weston Price touches on this, and we ARE seeing the effects of poor nutrition. That being said, breastmilk from a malnourished (as in, improperly nourished) mother is not much better. Better than the corn syrup and sugar of commercial formula, but still not the ideal way to grow a baby.

In short, society needs to start pushing more REAL food - for babies and mamas alike - or this downward spiral of obesity and degeneration will continue at a rapidly accelerating pace.
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Old 02-01-2013, 11:45 AM   #203
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Re: Deciding not to breast feed in advancei

Honestly, it is our social stigma's that hinders breastfeeding. Our society views womens breasts as a sexual part of the body and that is NOT why women have breasts. Women have breasts to breastfeed babies. If our society actually viewed breasts as the body part and function they are, then we wouldn't have the "ewww, that's gross" or "I don't want my breasts to change b/c of it" or "I feel uncomfortable breastfeeding in public" type of responses. I think it is unbelievable that so many individuals believe that women should not breastfeed in public. To shame a woman and her baby to the bathroom to feed is absolutely appalling.

To be honest, I do wish more women would breastfeed and not have the "well, I'll try and see what happens" type attitude. I don't have statistics, but I'm willing to bet that the majority with that attitude fail at it. Mainly b/c it isn't important enough to them to do what it takes to make it work. Then majority of those who fail the first time will continue to fail or won't even try it with future babies. I was one of those with that attitude with my first child. I had that attitude b/c I fell victim to society's stigma regarding breastfeeding. It was entirely my fault and I should have stood up for myself and my child, but it was so easy to fall into it. I didn't have enough close friends who were willing to advocate for breastfeeding.

I did try with my first and I failed. I did reach out to a lactation consultant which I realized later on wasn't an IBCLC and this lc didn't even have bf herself. How can she be a lc without never having gone through it?!?!?! I thought I wasn't producing enough milk. However, if dd1 would have been latched on correctly, then I would have. I thought she was, but now after having bf 3 more I know that she wasn't even remotely close to stimulating my milk production. She was always crying b/c the poor thing was hungry b/c she wasn't getting enough milk. Since she was latching incorrectly, my nipples were beyond sore....they were majorly cracked and bleeding. I gave up after 3 weeks.

I think many people give up for certain reasons, but there most likely was a reason why it wasn't working. Having a supportive society, suppotive peer group, supportive family, supportive dh, and most importantly the oppurtunity to reach out to IBCLC's is crucial. I had horrible guilt about not nursing dd1 and had it even worse when I realized why it didn't work. I could have done something about it. Many people who quite have reasons of course and those who don't want to feel guilty will stick to their reasons hard core even though there is a great chance that there could have been something to make it a success. I'm not saying everyone could be a success story, there are absolutely reasons why some women can't breastfeed.

Breastfeeding is not for everyone and women should not feel pressured into it. But, there is absolutely NO denying that breastmilk isn't the perfect food for babies. It is, hands down and undeniably the perfect food for babies. I know many people who either "tried" or who didn't even want to try. And, that is completely fine. They are doing what is best for them and their family. Many, many, many people have reasons for not breastfeeding. SOme are selfish and some are vaild, but who am I to judge how they should feed their baby. It makes me wonder and left but it isn't my place. If I know someone who isn't sure and is looking for information and support then I will absolutely give it. I was able to successfully breastfeed dd2 b/c of 2 friends who were great advocates and supporters of breastfeeding. I wanted it more due to my failure with dd1 and I did everything I had to to ensure success. It was hard, it was tiring, but it was worth it for us.

I went on to bf the next 2 for almost 18 months each. The hospital where those 2 were born had a breastfeeding support group that met 2 mornings a week at the hospital. They always had plenty of IBCLC's on hand to help. I went even with my 4th b/c I still needed it. I was amazed at what I was still learning with him.
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Old 02-01-2013, 12:01 PM   #204
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Re: Deciding not to breast feed in advancei

This thread (trainwreck) makes me think about a lunch playdate my son and his friends had at <gasp> McDonalds. The kids were in the play area-the other 3 took their socks off and carried them in their MOUTHS pretending they were dogs. I was so proud of my son for not doing it, smiling to myself, while the other mom's were all like "OMG!" I turn and look at my three year old to see her chewing gum, which I hadn't given her. She had gotten it from under the table!!!

Really, ladies, while you're standing there judging other women for bottle/formula feeding, make sure you know where your kids are and what they're doing

I'll never understand why people have to be so doggone nasty about the way other people feed their kids and how they raise them. As long as they're fed, loved, and cared for, that's all that should matter, right?
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Old 02-01-2013, 02:07 PM   #205
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Re: Deciding not to breast feed in advancei

Quote:
Originally Posted by Heather8183 View Post
This thread (trainwreck) makes me think about a lunch playdate my son and his friends had at <gasp> McDonalds. The kids were in the play area-the other 3 took their socks off and carried them in their MOUTHS pretending they were dogs. I was so proud of my son for not doing it, smiling to myself, while the other mom's were all like "OMG!" I turn and look at my three year old to see her chewing gum, which I hadn't given her. She had gotten it from under the table!!!
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Old 02-01-2013, 02:17 PM   #206
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Re: Deciding not to breast feed in advancei

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Originally Posted by Heather8183 View Post
This thread (trainwreck) makes me think about a lunch playdate my son and his friends had at <gasp> McDonalds. The kids were in the play area-the other 3 took their socks off and carried them in their MOUTHS pretending they were dogs. I was so proud of my son for not doing it, smiling to myself, while the other mom's were all like "OMG!" I turn and look at my three year old to see her chewing gum, which I hadn't given her. She had gotten it from under the table!!!

Really, ladies, while you're standing there judging other women for bottle/formula feeding, make sure you know where your kids are and what they're doing

I'll never understand why people have to be so doggone nasty about the way other people feed their kids and how they raise them. As long as they're fed, loved, and cared for, that's all that should matter, right?
Well said!
Some of the superiority complex comments on here make me sick.
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Old 02-01-2013, 02:22 PM   #207
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Re: Deciding not to breast feed in advancei

I BF DS till he was 6 months. I'm still Bfing DD at 18 months.

I personally can understand why someone would choose not to BF. With DS, I worked full time (I went back when he was 4 weeks old because I NEEDED the $ to support him.) I had to pump at lunch in a public restroom while customers went poop in the next stall. I was not given extra time or breaks to pump. I has to use a manual (later I got a battery operated) pump as the bathroom had no access to a plug. It was awful. I did it for 5 months (till he was 6 months old). It was not pleasant.

With DD, she has a high palet. I've had nipple pain since day one. Sheilds don't help. I've basically have been in pain at every feeding for a year and 1/2. She gagged and choked on bottles so I felt I had no choice. She also had reflux and spit up more when she was given formula. She can drink from a sippy cup but refuses cow's milk, formula, and most liquids. I can't wean her till she takes enough fluids by other means.

Breastfeeding is not always a beautiful bonding experience that it is for some. I love my kids and I will probably BF my next one. But I don't judge others for not wanting to BF.

I do JUDGE other moms that are super judgemental. We should be supporting each other even if we don't always agree with the other mom's parenting choices.
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Old 02-01-2013, 02:46 PM   #208
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Heather8183
This thread (trainwreck) makes me think about a lunch playdate my son and his friends had at <gasp> McDonalds. The kids were in the play area-the other 3 took their socks off and carried them in their MOUTHS pretending they were dogs. I was so proud of my son for not doing it, smiling to myself, while the other mom's were all like "OMG!" I turn and look at my three year old to see her chewing gum, which I hadn't given her. She had gotten it from under the table!!!

Really, ladies, while you're standing there judging other women for bottle/formula feeding, make sure you know where your kids are and what they're doing

I'll never understand why people have to be so doggone nasty about the way other people feed their kids and how they raise them. As long as they're fed, loved, and cared for, that's all that should matter, right?
Lol love it! Thank u for sharing!
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Old 02-01-2013, 05:02 PM   #209
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Re: Deciding not to breast feed in advancei

I know only one mama who chose not to breastfeed(the rest usually quit early but did try) ahead of time for no medical reason. She lived to regret it. She told me so herself.
Stand her kids side by side no you could not tell by looking which ones were breastfed. Compare health issues and food issues and you could see a night and day difference between her breastfed children and her bottle fed child.

No I do not think ff is in any way close to being comparable to breastmilk(obviously in the absence of harmful drugs). If it were you can just bet the formula companies wouldn't hesitate to use it in advertising. I do realize breastfeeding regardless of nutritional superiority is not an option for everyone. I am also aware donor milk is not readily available. In those cases formula is the best that is available. For those who for no reason other than they do not wish to breastfeed I do feel are not giving what is best for their babies. What other people feed their kids though doesn't bother me. I don't have the time or energy to really care. I also think despite my beliefs of breastmilks superiority to formula(in the absence of drugs obviously) there are much worse things people can do to their children than to choose formula just because.

My 2 cents worth. I am absolutely possitively certain I have offended someone. As far as I can tell many are looking for a reason to be offended.

Some people think I am endangering my child by choosing to co sleep. It is okay they have their own opinions and beliefs. It is okay they do not agree with me. They are entitled to have their own beliefs. Even if they believe I am not doing what they feel is best for my child.

It is totally okay if someone thinks I shouldn't extended breastfeed that is their right to think that. Why get offended because someone doesn't agree wih your decisions or even thinks they are wrong. Everyone is entitled to their own beliefs no matter how wrong you may think it is.
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Old 02-01-2013, 05:12 PM   #210
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I don't care how others feed their babies. As long as they are fed....and not watered down formula that's just wrong. None of my four cousins breasted their (total) six kids. There are two more on the way and they will be ff too. My cousins were formula fed too so it's normal in their books. It doesn't change my love for them at all. And their kids are healthy and smart.
Fwiw I also have a friend who was taught to be ashamed of her body and was blamed by her mom when a relative miles red her at eight years old. She couldn't bf. but she pumped for a year for each of her two kids. But I'm pretty sure she is the most awesome person for achieving that.
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