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Old 02-01-2013, 05:26 PM   #211
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Re: Deciding not to breast feed in advancei

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I don't care how others feed their babies. As long as they are fed....and not watered down formula that's just wrong. None of my four cousins breasted their (total) six kids. There are two more on the way and they will be ff too. My cousins were formula fed too so it's normal in their books. It doesn't change my love for them at all. And their kids are healthy and smart.
Fwiw I also have a friend who was taught to be ashamed of her body and was blamed by her mom when a relative miles red her at eight years old. She couldn't bf. but she pumped for a year for each of her two kids. But I'm pretty sure she is the most awesome person for achieving that.



I have always considered pumping and feeding to be breastfeeding. True the milk took a detour before getting to baby but the milk is still breastmilk. Am I wrong on this?

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Old 02-01-2013, 05:59 PM   #212
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For myself, I couldn't see not trying.

For my family, BFing has been the best choice.
For my babies, BFing has been pretty easy.

But that's just me and my family. Not everyone walks in my shoes and not everyone has the same experiences. Sometimes, I think its a little sad to hear women like my SIL tell people BFing is gross and the only people who do it are ones who can't afford formula, but at the end of the day, their babies are fed, healthy and thriving.
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Old 02-01-2013, 05:59 PM   #213
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Re: Deciding not to breast feed in advancei

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[/COLOR]

I have always considered pumping and feeding to be breastfeeding. True the milk took a detour before getting to baby but the milk is still breastmilk. Am I wrong on this?
I too consider that to be breast feeding. I think what she was trying to communicate was that her friend wasn't able to physically latch and breastfeed that she still pumped successfully for that year.
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Old 02-01-2013, 06:02 PM   #214
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I too consider that to be breast feeding. I think what she was trying to communicate was that her friend wasn't able to physically latch and breastfeed that she still pumped successfully for that year.
Yeah that. I EP for my daughter and still consider it breast feeding. I just thought it was great that while she couldn't latch on her kids bc of her hang ups she still found a way to give them bm.
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Old 02-01-2013, 06:04 PM   #215
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Re: Deciding not to breast feed in advancei

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I have always considered pumping and feeding to be breastfeeding. True the milk took a detour before getting to baby but the milk is still breastmilk. Am I wrong on this?
Yup, someone will argue "there's more to breastfeeding than breastmilk" and the passive immunity is lost once the milk is expressed, etc. But yeah I am with you there - huge difference between pumping and just giving formula from birth... Nobody bashes the mama whose baby has cleft palate, or was born premature and never latched, etc. - I give credit where credit is due, and expressed milk is far superior to the canned powdered artificial stuff. I honestly think pumping full-time is more time consuming than exclusively breastfeeding! And HUGE kudos to the adoptive mamas who induce lactation so they can feed their babies, I might add.
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Old 02-01-2013, 06:06 PM   #216
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And for those that pump and pump and still cant do exclusive breastmilk? Where do we fall in the failure department? How sub par is OUR mothering? I started pumping with dd every 2hrs! She would be asleep and I would be up pumping. I did this for weeks and weeks and did not ever get enough to only give her breastmilk. I took dom, moms milk special blend, golacta. I rented a hospital grade pump. Drank water, ate oatmeal. What then? Sorry but giving donor milk without boiling it was not the way I wanted to go. And I didnt feel comfortable heating all the nutrients out of the milk to give to my child. I know other people who have been congratulated for being able to exclusively pump. I pumped for both of my kids and I felt good about what I did bc it was WORK. But I didnt make enough breastmilk to sustain them. Is it bc I didnt try hard enough? Really? Every two hrs? Thats not enough? Pumping pink milk bc my nipples were bleeding from the combo of bad latch and getting used to a pump? I mean, when do you get the winning mom card?

And this is kind of the problem in judging others. The lines are rarely black and white. Drugs have been mentioned several times. Illegal drugs is a black and white issue and goes without saying. But when you start deciding who did good enough for YOUR standards you run into trouble bc, unless you know every single aspect of a person's life, are you really capable to make a judgement? These issues (breastfeeding, formula feeding, pumping) are often very gray and women shouldnt stand in a line picking and choosing who is a success and who is a total failure........ Or maybe you should, but understand two things: its not the loving thing to do and it does not build other women up. It tears them down. If you can feel good about those two things, then keep waggin that finger.
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Old 02-01-2013, 06:13 PM   #217
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And for those that pump and pump and still cant do exclusive breastmilk? Where do we fall in the failure department? How sub par is OUR mothering? I started pumping with dd every 2hrs! She would be asleep and I would be up pumping. I did this for weeks and weeks and did not ever get enough to only give her breastmilk. I took dom, moms milk special blend, golacta. I rented a hospital grade pump. Drank water, ate oatmeal. What then? Sorry but giving donor milk without boiling it was not the way I wanted to go. And I didnt feel comfortable heating all the nutrients out of the milk to give to my child. I know other people who have been congratulated for being able to exclusively pump. I pumped for both of my kids and I felt good about what I did bc it was WORK. But I didnt make enough breastmilk to sustain them. Is it bc I didnt try hard enough? Really? Every two hrs? Thats not enough? Pumping pink milk bc my nipples were bleeding from the combo of bad latch and getting used to a pump? I mean, when do you get the winning mom card?

And this is kind of the problem in judging others. The lines are rarely black and white. Drugs have been mentioned several times. Illegal drugs is a black and white issue and goes without saying. But when you start deciding who did good enough for YOUR standards you run into trouble bc, unless you know every single aspect of a person's life, are you really capable to make a judgement? These issues (breastfeeding, formula feeding, pumping) are often very gray and women shouldnt stand in a line picking and choosing who is a success and who is a total failure........ Or maybe you should, but understand two things: its not the loving thing to do and it does not build other women up. It tears them down. If you can feel good about those two things, then keep waggin that finger.
Bfing is bfing whether its one drop or everything they get , IMO
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Old 02-01-2013, 06:53 PM   #218
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Re: Deciding not to breast feed in advancei

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I have to wonder what all the EBF moms feed their kids after they wean. I mean this EBF business is sooo important to many moms, and then their kids wind up eating processed junk for the rest of their lives. How many moms who ebf'd their kids now feed them hot dogs, pop tarts, food dyes, fruit that gets sucked out of a plastic pouch and canned soup, lol! Judge not, y'all! Someone mentioned that some formulas have GMOs. Uhm, hello (and I realize that poster is from Europe and her country may have higher food standards), but good luck maintaining a GMO free diet in the US. Not gonna happen.

So, yeah, I used to get all stirred up about this topic, but no longer. Cheers!
I'm always careful about what my daughter and the rest of us eat. And even if someone were to fed their child poorly later on in life, doesn't mean that they should also not breastfeed. I feel bad for mothers who don't want to try to breastfeed because of misconceptions or old wives tales. It's different when they have a valid reason like they have to work, or have school or health issues. But thinking it's gross or that it has to hurt or that formula is just as good makes me sad and a little frustrated. Or the mom in my hospital room that gave formula because her "milk hadn't come in yet". But most moms I know breastfed or at least tried hard to. I think there's a lot more awareness now about the benefits, at least in Ontario.
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Old 02-01-2013, 06:53 PM   #219
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Re: Deciding not to breast feed in advancei

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Honestly, it is our social stigma's that hinders breastfeeding. Our society views womens breasts as a sexual part of the body and that is NOT why women have breasts. Women have breasts to breastfeed babies. If our society actually viewed breasts as the body part and function they are, then we wouldn't have the "ewww, that's gross" or "I don't want my breasts to change b/c of it" or "I feel uncomfortable breastfeeding in public" type of responses. I think it is unbelievable that so many individuals believe that women should not breastfeed in public. To shame a woman and her baby to the bathroom to feed is absolutely appalling.
I think your point about stigma in relationship to bfing is valid...I, personally, think it can work in both directions. If I were to bf in the food court at my local mall, I'd get stares, probably some remarks. But if I were to bottle feed in the food court at the mall in Ithaca (1.5 hrs from me) I get dirty looks for that, too.

But that's beside the point...our society has a complex relationship with breasts and, by extension, breastfeeding. Yes, breasts are intended for feeding; we are, after all, mammals. But we are also thinking, feeling beings. And breasts are sexual. They're an erogenous zone for most women. They're beautiful an sensual whether they have a baby attached or not. And we know that breasts turn many men (and some women ) on...and knowing that you turn someone on is, in turn, a turnon. So there's primary, secondary, and tertiary sexual pleasure that can be attributed to the power of the boob. I get that this saturates our popular culture excessively, but I don't think you can discount that we, as a society, have conflicted thoughts and perceptions about breasts, but that is probably b/c they're dual-use, and occasionally they even have no use at all
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Old 02-01-2013, 07:05 PM   #220
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Re: Deciding not to breast feed in advancei

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Here's what I've found (and I can look back on myself and include me, too). Moms who are so gung ho and militant and martyrish about breast feeding are probably insecure in other areas or only have a mom identity at that point in their lives. They don't have much else to focus on or champion, so they rub in everyone's faces how fabulous they are for making milk, they have disdain for formula, and they put down those who don't breastfeed because it makes them feel superior.

Sure, breast is best and all that jazz. But formula is a great option, too, and no one needs to beat other moms (even those who *gasp* have a beer or go out with friends) over the head with their milky boobs.
okay that was worth quoting, LOL

yes I see that superior mom thing in many scenarios. Like one mom i know is so gung ho about natural birth that it is annoying to everyone, even other supporters of non-medicated/no-intervention births. But this same mom "tv trains" her kids starting at a couple weeks old. That is what she calls it....tv training. the goal is to have them sit still and watch a one hour movie by 12 months old and yes, she verbalizes this as an official goal that they "work" towards. i really find her to be a very insecure person. she is so quick to talk about births and go on and on yet trains her infants to watch long lengths of tv time. her school ager is addicted to video games. anyway, i find that to be true...that holier-than-thou moms are usually very lacking in other areas and trying to prove something in another area
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