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|02-03-2013, 08:48 AM||#1|
Went in for pain control but had a baby instead
Colin Lawrence F. was born on Wednesday, January 30th @ 2:35am. 6lbs 15oz, 18.5" long.
If any of you know my story, good. If not, I had kidney stones and kidney pain throughout DS2's pregnancy starting at 14 weeks. I was absolutely miserable between the pain and the medicines to get rid of the pain that I just wanted it to be over. But I also wanted my child to be ok (we did not know the sex).
So on Monday, the 28th, I was in pain yet again. I talked to my OB as I had not received the amnio results yet. Baby was not ready. I left the office in tears because if I had known the results on Thurs, the 24th, when they were ready, I would have asked for another amnio. Well I found out on Tues AM that the OB office doesn't do repeat amnios if the lungs are not mature. By that time, my pain was just horrible.
So early Monday AM, when my dog woke me up at 3:10am, I woke up to strong contractions. I told DH that today might be the day when he left for work at 4:30am. As soon as I started to time time (5:30ish), they stopped. I had them off and on throughout the day but by 1pm, they were starting to get more regular. Off I went to my NST, when I learned the info, and came home in pain, having contractions, and just miserable.
Tuesday morning comes about. I wake up in pain (4/10) even though I was early on my dose the night before (supposed to take at 4am, took at 3am). I decided to not volunteer at DS1's band because I was exhausted, in pain, and just felt like crap both mentally and physically. By 10am, I knew I needed to take my pain meds at the 8hr interval instead of the 12hr that I had been trying to maintain. So by 11am, I took another dose. It did absolutely nothing.
I was just miserable, so I took a hot bath. I tried again to check myself but my cervix was too posterior. I had been checking over the past 2 weeks since we thought I was having a baby on 1/18 because my pain put me in labor. I got out around 12:45pm and tried to take a nap. I just couldn't do it with my pain. So I got up before 2pm since I had to go get DD from school. I left a message with my OB's office around 11:45am, saying I was considering going back in to L&D for pain control. When they called back, at 2:35pm, I had decided to go in. I told the nurse this so my OB would know and could let L&D know. I picked up DD and went home. I had her go get our neighbor/friend to see if she could take me in. She gladly did and dropped me off, taking my DD to her house.
Now I was thinking that I would be there for 4-6 hours, get some pain relief and go home. But when the nurse in triage checked me, she said I moved to a solid 4 and was contracting very regularly. I then got a call back from my OB's office again and the nurse told me that my OB would not induce me and wanted me to go into labor naturally. (I have a post about that in pregnancy). As soon as I got off the phone, I broke down. I could not imagine being pregnant any longer. My nurse came in and saw how I was. She saw that since I was in a labor pattern and just going quite slowly, that she asked when she re-checked me if I would allow her to strip my membranes to see if that would speed things up. I said yes, crying, and learned my cervix was really not as posterior as it was on Monday (When my OB checked me, he had to walk my cervix up and it HURT. When she checked me, she didn't have to reach that far, even to strip my membranes. She said to expect a baby soon but no one thought how soon. She did say that she would talk to my OB and let him know what was going on. I called DH in tears because I thought I was never going to deliver. She came back about an hour later (with me having really good contractions) and said that my OB wanted to admit me and get the show on the road. She said he did say yes to augmenting my labor if needed.
So I call DH and told him they were admitting me. I don't think I clarified completely that it was to have a baby as he was confused when he came that evening. He was already on his way home. They moved me to an L&D room (I was in triage) and started me on the monitors. By this time, I was contracting every 3-4 minutes. I was also starting to notice that with some contractions, my kidney pain would get worse. It was about 5pm by this time. My nurse did all my paperwork and got me settled and it started to hit me that I was going to have a baby. I wondered if it would come on the 29th or the 30th. My sister's birthday was on the 29th and my MIL's was on the 30th. Since it was down to those 2 days, I was ok with either of them. I really had not wanted this baby to be born in January or share a b-day.
I know I should have gotten out of bed and walked around but my kidney hurt too much and I stayed in bed. Around 6pm, DH & DD got there with my stuff. It was then that DH found out that I was having a baby in the next 24 hours. They stayed for about an hour and I told DH that I would call or text him when I was close to delivery. I honestly wanted to be alone for labor. Well by that time (7:30ish), I started noticing that the kidney pain was not only worse but also coming with every few contractions (it had stopped for about an hour while DH & DD were there). I knew that did not bode well. I asked for a dose of Morphine to help. It did. I thought I was in the home stretch and would just labor and have a baby. I did ask for a cervical check and I was still a 4. I was a little annoyed but didn't really care. Well an hour later, I had 3 VERY strong contractions in a row (every 2-3mins) and with each one my kidney pain doubled (4 to an 8). I knew right there that there was no way I was going to make it hours longer. Heck I knew I could not take 1 more of those contractions. Again, I could breathe through the contractions but not the pain and that did not work well together. I asked for an epidural. I almost had one with DD because I had a SEVERE pain attack while in labor with her but because I was in so much pain and so close to delivering, they let me suffer. I could not go through that again.
By 9:15, the epidural was placed. The epi doc said that the epi should NOT get rid of my pain because of where it was placed. I was hoping that what my DD OB's said would be true. That it would be the only thing I could do for the pain. By 9:45, my pain was gone. I could still feel my contractions, but the contraction pain AND kidney pain were gone. The epi doc said that she did put a lot in so that I could still feel sensations and my legs would not be dead. My nurse (a different one by this time) checked me, per my request, to see if I had changed. I was still a 4. I was annoyed by this. My contractions were every 2-3mins by this time and exactly how they needed to be. I also got my catheter about this time and I really was so glad to get it. With everything that my kidney/bladder had been through with the pregnancy and the suffering that went with it, it was nice to not have to get up to pee. My nurse said she would come back to check me again at 10pm.
Right at 10pm, I called my nurse in because I was so sick to my stomach. I had woken up to being nauseated and it really never went away. I guess that labor helped out in making in worse. I asked for some anti-nausea meds. She checked me again, and I was still a 4. She asked if I wanted to have the Pitocin started and I said yes. She came back 10 mins later with Zofram and Pitocin. I thought that I would deliver around 9am so I texted DH to let him know what was going on. He never got that text. She started the Pitocin and even though I still felt the contractions, I felt no pain.
A little after 11pm, I came so close to vomiting. Again, I thought it was due to being in labor and possibly because adding the epi and pit. I called me nurse in because I just couldn't handle being so sick. She got me some Phenerghen. Also, some times if I get a dose of anti-nausea meds, it will make me throw up. I was hoping that would happen. Instead, it made me VERY sleepy which is weird as it doesn't normally. So I fell asleep around 11:30. About 1:55am, I became aware that my pain was back. I could feel the contractions on the right side and my pain was about a 9/10. I had fallen asleep slightly on my left side so my epi settled mostly in my left leg (though I could still move/use it. About 10 mins after having those SUPER painful contractions & pain, I called my nurse. I have no clue who came in as I could not open my eyes. I told her about my pain and asked if I could get an even higher bolus (as I had pushed it once already and it didn't work) because I could not handle the pain. She said something and it dawned on me that I felt a head in my birth canal. She checked me and barely even put her finger in. Baby's head was RIGHT THERE! I woke up then. I asked if her if it was time to call DH and get him there, she said YES! She would also call the on call OB to come deliver. I found out it was the OB that agreed with the ER doc who accused me of being a drug seeker/addict at 20 weeks when I went into the ER for a kidney stone attack. I was not happy about it but too late now.
I called DH and told him to get up and get over there NOW. The OB got there by 2:15am and asked when DH was to arrive. I called again, and he was 5 mins away. My body was pushing the baby out on its own. The OB noticed I still had my bag (I was shocked) and wanted to break it so he wouldn't get splashed in the face. I realized just now, that that was when my contractions stopped and the urge to push stopped. DH & DD got there and I started pushing. It was hard to do with no urge to push. This was at 2:20am.
I will finish this later. I am pumping and then need to go visit Colin in the NICU.
Ok back. And yes Colin is ok and doing MUCH better every day!
So once I had my water broken, it was hard to push. It took a few minutes for me figure out when I had a push urge. What hindered this ENTIRE thing was my nausea. I kept retching every time I had a contraction and pushed. So instead of pushing for the "required time" for a epi birth, I pushed once and then retched. Of course the OB and the nurses kept telling me to push longer but I wasn't going to listen to them. I had NO idea he was so close to coming out. And I must say it HURT to push! I did feel him come down each time and each push hurt in a way I never felt before. I felt like I was not open enough like I hadn't stretched the proper amount for him to come through.
Well I would push about every 2 mins and retch every 2 mins. The OB and nurses really were acting weird about me getting him out fast. I am not sure if they could see if something was wrong with him. After about 10 mins of pushing, my baby's head popped out. It felt super weird. But at least this child was finally in the correct position for birth (no posterior baby this time). I then gave 2 short pushes and my baby finally came out. I had no idea what the gender was. DH & DD had walked over to the side of the bed and I asked DD to tell me what the sex was. She said he was a boy. I saw just as she had said that. I was so pleased I was right. I guessed he was a boy at 4.5 weeks pregnant as his pregnancy was JUST like DS1's pregnancy, down to the morning sickness, the way my breasts grew (slow instead of super fast like DD's), the way my belly grew. I then became really out of it right after he was born. I don't remember too much. Some time after this, the OB said I had torn and started sewing me up. I freaked as I have issues with epinephrine in numbing meds and told the OB. He said he wasn't using numbing meds with epi. I felt one pinch and don't remember much else. I don't even know how many stitches I have as I can't even see where I was sewed.
I do remember the feeling of the placenta disengaging and then the OB telling me to push it out. I remember them putting him on my chest and I remember his breathing did not sound right. Having heard 4 babies be born while I was there and my knowledge of how babies are supposed to sound, that was not how my baby sounded. The nurses took him for a bit to suction him out. They did a minor suction on him and got some thick fluid out of his lungs and took some vernix out of his nose. They then brought him to me to nurse as I had asked for it before any of the typical baby things were done. Everything else of my birth plan went out the window, but the nurses tried to follow it when it came to the baby and what to do with him. I tried to nurse him and it did not happen. He would latch for a second then immediately stop. I was very confused as this is not what DS1 and DD did. I know that an epi/pit birth can make a baby sleepy, but he did not act sleepy.
So the nurses took him from me 5 mins after they gave him to me. Again, I do not remember much. But I do remember them agressively suctioning him.
This is the pic DH took right after they finished.
They showed DH & I the stuff they took out and it was not amniotic fluid; it was mucus. I asked if that was normal and I didn't get a clear answer on it. My guess is it is not. Well about that time, DH and DD came over and wanted to talk about names. DH grabbed my phone and looked at my list of names. We both had stipulations for the name. My stipulation was that it HAD to be a "C" name with a "k" sound. (Think Coleen, Chloe, Cooper, Connor). DH said it had to be an Irish name (DH is Irish). Well I always had Colin be the front runner for the boy's name and Coleen or Chloe for the girl's name. I have a Great Uncle whose name was Colin (which I found out it was pronounced Colon). And Coleen is my HS BFF's name. Well funny thing was that DH was adamant about NOT having Colin as his son's name. And then when DH & DD were going through my list, the first thing DH said was "Colin". He asked DD & I what I thought. I didn't want to show how excited I was, so I just said I like that name; Colin.
The middle name would be Lawrence if it was a boy and Lauren if it was a girl. It is after DH's grandfather's name. He died just before DH got home from Afghanistan on April 30th. I may not be ok with the grandfather politics but I knew that DH admired him greatly and wanted his 2nd child to have his name. So he became Colin Lawrence.
Well about that time, another nurse came in and talked to DH. I am not sure what was said, but they took Colin out. I had had my eyes closed since DH started talking to me about names and I think I fell asleep after they took Colin away.
I was woken up around 5:30am by my nurse checking my uterus and blood loss. She had me get up and go pee. She had to help me out of bed as my left leg was still sleepy. They turned off the Epi right after I delivered and took it out some time which I have no clue when. I went to the bathroom and my nurse helped me get the awesome underwear on, a cold pack, and a "diaper". I felt like I was barely bleeding compared to DS1's & DD's delivery. She helped me back in bed and said that I was supposed to stay in my room for a bit but another patient wasn't going to the room I ended up in. So the nurse went to go get a "people mover" to help me get to my room. I asked why I did not get a wheelchair and she said they use it to move moms who are somewhat mobile who can't walk too far but are sore. So I stood on this thing and she moved these things around for me to sort of sit on. It was quite odd sitting on this thing. DH & DD took my bags.
I get to my room and I am helped into bed. DH & DD left shortly after and I believe I fell asleep right after. About 9 o'clock, my PP nurse came in to get me to take me to the nursery to see Colin. I saw him in his bassinet and I don't remember if I held him or not. I went back to my room thinking I would get to see him soon. I thought it would have been like DD and they needed to keep an eye on him due to my pain meds and in case he was in withdrawal. I didn't know there was something wrong. I probably went back to sleep as it was about 11/12 when a nurse brought Colin to me to try and nurse again. We tried again and it was horrible. He could not stay latched for longer than a second. I just did not know what was going on. I asked to see an LC soon as I knew that this was going to be a problem. The nurse stayed the 30 mins that he was there and took him away. My guess is that he was not breathing well.
Well I probably fell asleep again as I don't remember anything until a NICU nurse came in and said that Colin needed to go to the NICU. She said his breathing was bad and that he needed to go to the NICU for a few hours to be monitored. She then said that a NICU doc would come in to talk to me. I am still out of it and don't remember that much even though it was 12 hours after delivery by this point.
Ok BBIAB. Need to pump again. I can't go see Colin tonight, so I need to pump for him. I got 270ml this last pumping (9oz) and it felt AMAZING to not feel small watermelons on my chest for once since Thursday evening.
ETA on 2/17/13 @ 4:15am
Sorry about not finishing. Colin coming home from the NICU has been a wild ride.
I was told that he would go to the NICU in the hospital. Now this NICU was opened less than 6 months ago and only had 11 beds. They opened it out there because the closest one was a minimum an hour away and with the community growing so rapidly, they needed a basic NICU (level 2).
So off he went and I went to see him after they got him settled. He had a lot of wires (Pulse ox, a 3 lead, an IV, and a BP cuff) and he was toasting away in the warmer. He did not have any oxygen to help him breathe. Even though he was grunting with every breath, his pulse ox never went below 90. At that point, I asked for a breast pump. I knew he was going to need my milk soon and I knew with him not being able to nurse, my milk would take forever to come in. I spent 2 hours with him and went back to my room to pump. I got literal drops. I couldn't even get enough to get 1ml. I was disheartened.
So every 2 hours, after I pumped, I would go see Colin. Then I would come back, eat a meal or a snack, pump, and go back to see him. As I would sit there and hold him, I noticed that I really was the only mom who would come see her baby. Now I know that is a bit presumptuous of me, but I was there at every feeding of the babies and there for 1-2 hours each visit. I rarely saw other moms and that was for the entire 12 days Colin was there.
I found out the next AM that Colin was going to be staying in the NICU after I got discharged. I broke down. I was expecting him to be D/C after 4 days. But then late Thursday night happened. Now I was so sad that night after I saw him from 8-10pm that I started crying as soon as I turned off the lights. I texted DH that he needed to come be with me as soon as he dropped DS1 & DD off at school. I then texted my BFF and told her how sad I was. After a few back and forth texts with her, she called me. I lost it again. I missed him so much and he was barely 45 hours old. After 30 mins of me sobbing, I told her that I needed to go see him. That was at 11:30pm. I went in and saw how miserable he was. He was in full withdrawal. I knew it was because he had not had any narcotics since Tues @11am when I took my last dose before he was born. He was absolutely miserable and it made me cry even harder. I begged them to give him some meds and at 12:30am, they did. I actually had asked them since he showed up in the NICU to give him some meds so he wouldn't suffer. They said his scores were not high enough. As someone who had gone through severe withdrawal 5 times the entire week of x-mas, I knew he was suffering from 12 hours old.
After spending 3 hours with him that night/morning, I finally went to bed but pumped first. My milk was finally starting to come in but it hadn't fully. It started to show up 36 hours after delivery. I still would pump every 2-3 hours and about 4-5 during the night.
Now come Friday AM, I was expecting to stay that night and get a "hotel guest" pass so that I could stay with Colin. My nurse informed me at 8am, they were D/C me that day. I broke down again. I couldn't leave my baby! The nurse said that I could stay until 3:00pm, when her shift was over. The ward was over full with moms and even were keeping women in L&D for much longer because there was no room in Post-partum. So I called DH in tears and started packing. He was shocked that they were D/C me especially after I told him that they said I could stay. But Friday there were so many deliveries that even the NICU had 16 babies; 2 sets of twins and almost all of them were 35 weekers. They shipped most of them down to San Diego. And that is when I found out that Colin was very close to being one of those shipped babies. That set me off again, and started me crying.
Now DH gets there and he takes all of my stuff down to the van. Then we go and see Colin. DH really had not gotten to see or hold his own son because of how sick Colin was. He really thought he would get to see his son after I had my bonding time. But that time never came. While we were there, one of the NICU docs came by to talk to us. She said he was going to be staying MUCH longer than anticipated. That he would stay at a minimum 10 more days. We were shocked. But everything started because of his breathing problems at birth. That caused the inability to nurse/eat (even from a bottle). And then that caused the severe withdrawal because he was unable to get the minimal amounts of meds from my milk. And the NICU refused to D/C him until he no longer needed Morphine from them. When they started the Morphine for him, he was getting 0.30mg every 3 hours.
Now since I don't need to explain everything that happened the 12 days while he was there, I will finish up of how he got out.
Now he was doing so well on the Morphine, the doc was decreasing the dose by 0.03mg every 24 hours. They also reduced the time from every 3 hours to every 6 hours. And within 24 hours of them doing it every 6 hours, they would only give it to him "as needed". Which meant that every 6 hours, they would check him over and if his "withdrawal scores" were over 9, they would give him a dose. When he was changed to that regimen, he only needed the Morphine in the middle of the night (1-3am). And every night, he was reduced by 0.03mg until he was down to 0.15mg. By 2/7, the doc said that they would not give him a dose unless it was really obvious he needed it. Well that first night (2/8) @2am, his score was 6 but they did not give it to him. He was even nursing quite well during this.
As we started on 2/1 with needing 5 hands to get him to latch, a nipple shield, a homemade SNS, and squirting milk into the nipple shield while hand expressing my milk into his mouth. The next evening (2/2), I tricked him and got him to latch with NOTHING! I still had to express milk into his mouth, but we needed no outside help. Then by the next evening (2/3) I hand to "hamburger" my nipple and squeeze the milk in until he got the first letdown, but after that? He has needed very little help. As of today (2/17), he won't latch unless I "hamburger" the nipple and if he is upset, he won't nurse laying down. I still have to pump 3-4 times a day as he is not eating as much as I am producing. I have over 15 liters of frozen milk in my freezer. I can pump from each breast 4-9oz (total 8-18oz) each time I pump. And Colin is only eating as much in a day as the highest amount I pump in one session. I have a LOT of extra milk needless to say.
On Saturday (2/9), there was talk of him going home either on Sunday or Monday. DH suggested that I go be with him from 12-3am (2 feedings) to see if his "witching hour" was due to withdrawal symptoms or being upset that his mommy was gone. So DH & I made preparations for me to spend time with Colin that night. I took a late nap and woke up at 10pm. I then pumped and got 300ml (5oz out of each side) and took a shower so I would be clean for Colin. I technically shouldn't have but since giving birth, I would either be freezing or when I would sleep, I would wake up drenched in sweat. And I woke up sopping wet that evening. I left at 11:30pm for the NICU.
I get there and he had just been fed, so we snuggled for a bit until he acted like he was hungry again. I nursed him for a bit as he wanted a snack. After that, I asked to see the pump (brought my pump parts) as I was engorged again. I put Colin back in bed and pumped. Getting only 175 ml (6oz total) with this pumping. By that time, it was Colin's "witching hour" and I was expecting a grumpy and very unhappy baby. It never came. I stayed for the 2am feeding and just snuggled with him if he wasn't nursing. I knew that he would come home in the AM. The nurse said for me to call around 9am just to make sure.
I called at 9:30am (it was hard for me to sleep!) and asked if he was in fact coming home. They said he would as soon as we got there. I got dressed and got the kids and DH ready and off we went. We got there by 10:15am and I thought it was going to take 60-90 mins but it took 20min and he was sprung!
Colin is now 18 days old and he really does not act like a typical newborn. It is quite odd. He nurses quite well and he still "needs" a bottle at least 3 times a day. I nurse him first and for 10-15 mins until he just doesn't want to nurse anymore. Then I usually have to pump (super engorged by that time) and he gets a bottle during that time. I don't think he likes nursing on rock hard breasts. DS1 & DD didn't either.
Even though I still feel I did something wrong to cause his breathing problems, I know I didn't. I could not have caused him to be born with "Pneumonia" (what they thought was wrong with him). The mucus in his lungs at birth were not a result of any meds I took, nor the Epidural or Pitocin I had during labor.
I wish I hadn't needed the MS Contin (Morphine) but it was either take it or have Colin at 26 weeks. I even think that the reason I went labor was because I had been in uncontrollable pain for 2 days at that point.
I am glad I am no longer pregnant. My kidney hurt for about a week after delivery and I actually needed the pain meds because I was in pain. After that, I take it so Colin and I do not go through withdrawal. I am already down to once a day and I am about to reduce the amount from 30mg to 15 mg this week.
I NEVER want to get pregnant again. I could not mentally take another kidney stone pregnancy and I could not allow another baby to have to be forced to be dependent on the meds I am on so I don't have a preemie. I really would love to have more kids but my body does not like being pregnant. Also my abdomen is still sore from Colin kicking me to death while he was inside.
Hope you enjoyed my SUPER long birth story!
ME: Dagny 34. Married 7/16/04 to: DH: 36. US Navy Corpsman. DS: Quinn 15. Future Mad Scientist DD: Kayla 8. Future Pink Mermaid Ballerina Princess
DS2: Colin 14 monhs. Walking toddler!
Feed your children human milk as long as possible, it might save their life. It did my son's.
Last edited by kaylabelle05; 02-17-2013 at 06:16 AM. Reason: Had to go see my baby