Pregnancy After Loss (Feb 1-14)

[finleyjudemommy]

Originally Posted by canadianbakers I think you should talk to your MW about how you're feeling, what your worries are. See what her suggestion is then. What are the possible risks of high progesterone, or are there any? If there aren't, and you would feel better staying on it, then I'd do that. If there are risks, but you aren't comfortable stopping it totally, try weaning down to where you're in the normal range and stick with that. AFM: Today is Elliana's birthday. We got some stuff last night and I'm going to make cupcakes for us to have for dessert tonight - all the kids get cupcakes on their actual birthday, then cake at their party, so we will have cupcakes for Elli too. Zech asked me this morning if we were going to have cake or cupcakes, he was really happy when I said we were. He said that was good, because "we all get cupcakes for our birthday". The boys also have a hockey game tonight, and everyone is at school today, DH is at work. It's a strange mix of remembering and sadness, and yet still life going on - which is kinda how every day is, really. It's not a bad thing, it's not making me terribly sad, but it's just kinda weird. I am glad to be able to do something for her day, though. I want to do it for myself, but also for the kids, to help them remember. I don't ever want to force them to feel or remember, but I want to give them the opportunity, kwim? I've always planned to get a shelf put up in our bedroom for Elli's things. Just hasn't gotten done, even in a year. I'm hoping to get one this weekend and do that, too. I'll feel better having her things in the "right spot" instead of just on our dresser. The boys realized last night that if Elli was with us still, we would have her seat in the van and seating would change. Then they said "If Elli was here, we'd be full and we wouldn't have room for the new baby!" DH and I both said "If Elli was with us we probably would never have had this baby." Then we talked a bit about how strange this all is - we will never be happy that Elli died, that she's not with us. But how can we be sad that Hiccup is here. It's a strange place to be, loving both of them so much yet knowing that Hiccup never would have existed without Elliana dying.

We always send Happy Birthday balloons up to Jack every year on his angel day...he's only had 2 of them but it's something we plan on doing for him every year. We don't have a grave to go to bc we chose to cremate him and keep him with us so we can't do anything with that. We also send him balloons for other holidays as well :-)

I hope your day is a peaceful one (((hugs)))