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Old 02-07-2013, 07:52 AM   #1
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Question Do/Should you go to court?

I have been informed many times that I am encouraged to go to all court hearings on Little Mans case. Do you go for your foster kids? What does it do to go vs not go?

DH feels like Bio-mom may feel threatened by my presence there. I am not sure.

I was going to go today but now I am not sure.

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Old 02-07-2013, 09:53 AM   #2
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Re: Do/Should you go to court?

Go!! It's not fun...at all. However, you get a lot more info then you would otherwise. A lot! Some cases you are aloud to sit in and hear everything, as in what the parents have done and what they need to do to get the kids back. It may be hard to hear. It may color your view of the parents, but I like to know as much as possible. It helps me to process what's happening. Other cases they will do a motion to exclude foster parents. I still go anyway. The judge sees that you are there and that you care enough to come out. Our judge asks if there is anything we want to say. Especially if adoption is a possibility, it shows the judge you are committed. Even when we are excluded from the actual hearing, the caseworkers, gal, and the like come out and update us on what happened. I would be completely in the dark about many many things if I did not go. I think they ackowledge that you came all the way out and fill you in as much as they can, more then they would over the phone. Heck you may not even get an update at all if you dont' go.
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Old 02-07-2013, 12:46 PM   #3
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Yeah what she said. I'm really anxious but I'm going next week.
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Old 02-07-2013, 01:20 PM   #4
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Re: Do/Should you go to court?

I did not go with most of our foster kids, but I went almost every time with our last adoption. I think it really helped the judge to know we were serious about adoption. I was usually sworn in so that I could answer any questions they wanted to ask me. Sometimes that was 1-2 questions, sometimes none. In our case, bio mom & dad did not show up to any court dates I went to, so I don't have the experience of the awkwardness of meeting them there.
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Old 02-07-2013, 02:26 PM   #5
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Re: Do/Should you go to court?

We went to them. It was the one and only time we met dd2's birth father. I wondered if he would show up, and I planned to take a camera and ask him if i could take a pic of him for her. But, of course I forgot to bring one. Fours years ago and no cellphone camera then...
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Old 02-07-2013, 02:44 PM   #6
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Re: Do/Should you go to court?

I would go. EVERYTHING comes out in court...we would have had no idea what was going on in our first babe's case if we had not gone since the social worker lied to us.
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Old 02-07-2013, 03:45 PM   #7
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Re: Do/Should you go to court?

Thank you for asking this question! Our first court date that we have known about is in April. We were on the fence on wether or not we should go! It is an hour away and didn't know if it was worth taking off of work. It sounds like it would be a good idea!

We know very little about what is going on with mom's plan! The only answer we seem to get is "mom is doing pretty good" Thank you for all the advice!
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Old 02-07-2013, 04:59 PM   #8
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Re: Do/Should you go to court?

Well ladies I did go. If nothing else curiosity won out. I do know a little more now. I was even more nervous because it was the first time I have seen bio-mom since X-man was moved. I actually had a great talk with bio-mom and a lot was brought to light in that conversation. I have a lot of compassion for bio-mom. I feel empathy for her situation. I can't say I feel like she could care for the huge issues the kids have. I did find out that Little girl has reactive attachment disorder and they believe that is what X-man has. Its all a sad a complicated situation.....
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Old 02-08-2013, 05:02 AM   #9
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Re: Do/Should you go to court?

Quote:
Originally Posted by mmbreb View Post
Well ladies I did go. If nothing else curiosity won out. I do know a little more now. I was even more nervous because it was the first time I have seen bio-mom since X-man was moved. I actually had a great talk with bio-mom and a lot was brought to light in that conversation. I have a lot of compassion for bio-mom. I feel empathy for her situation. I can't say I feel like she could care for the huge issues the kids have. I did find out that Little girl has reactive attachment disorder and they believe that is what X-man has. Its all a sad a complicated situation.....
Glad you went. I am not at all surprised that they think Xman has RAD ... I thought it sounded like it.

I go to court a lot but not always. I try to take the CW lead when they feel it benefits case. I have been sworn in at times. Here if we show we sit in back but are always allowed in court.
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Old 02-08-2013, 05:07 AM   #10
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Re: Do/Should you go to court?

This morning Hope and I are off to the children's hospital. She is having a bronchoscope to look for anatomical reasons for her continued strider and croup like cough. They would like to do without sedation which will be impossible. She is very easily over stimulated and startled and then has a hard time self regulating once she is set off. Last time she scared the entire recover room team when coming off anesthesia. Wish us luck
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