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Old 02-07-2013, 06:38 PM   #11
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Re: Play Date Issues.

Great ideas ladies, thanks. It feels a bit better to know I'm not the only one like this. My DH keeps telling me I'm being silly and to let him go to a strangers house alone. UM no... he knows this is one thing I will not be compromising on.

I don't know if we will have any time to do anything anytime soon but we will see. I literally am swamped with life right now. Out of the week I usually have 2 days after the kids come home that might be considered down time for us for about an hour. That and finances are tight because of the move so it would have to be a free activity. I'll see what the other mom says though. Hopefully she won't think I'm a nut but if she does oh well I guess. :P

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Old 02-07-2013, 06:51 PM   #12
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Originally Posted by Heather8183
I'm the same way. No way is my kid going to someone's house we don't know REALLY well.

I think I'd just email her and let her know you're unpacking, 7m pregnant, and just a lot going on for the next few months but as soon as the weather warms up and your house gets straightened around, you'd love to get together and meet her and let the kids play while you chat.
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Old 02-07-2013, 07:56 PM   #13
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Re: Play Date Issues.

Would you feel comfortable disclosing that you were abused? Obviously it's deeply private and personal but I feel like it's the kind of thing that, if someone said to me "no, it happened to me", I'd be like oh no, say no more, and I'd drop the issue and never press it.
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Old 02-07-2013, 08:02 PM   #14
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Re: Play Date Issues.

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Would you feel comfortable disclosing that you were abused? Obviously it's deeply private and personal but I feel like it's the kind of thing that, if someone said to me "no, it happened to me", I'd be like oh no, say no more, and I'd drop the issue and never press it.
I don't know. I always feel like such a freak saying that. I am worried about the awkward silence or the oh weirdo...run reaction. lol I normally don't disclose it to anyone and I took quite a few minutes thinking about it before I posted it here too but I know you are all understanding so I figured I might as well disclose where these feelings were coming from. Also, because dh was making me feel like it is weird to feel that way and it is only because I was abused. I am happy to hear I'm not the only mom though that does things this way. I will think about it though, maybe if I can think of a tactful way to say it without saying it, you know?
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Old 02-07-2013, 08:12 PM   #15
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Re: Play Date Issues.

If you're in the metro there are TONS of things to do in doors. I would just email the mom and say you're new to the area and haven't settled in yet, but once you do you'd like to get to know the boy and her (the mom) better and could schedule a few play dates at an indoor place. While I can totally understand your hesitation, your child does also need to make friends, and there is middle ground, having playdates with you there.
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Old 02-07-2013, 08:12 PM   #16
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Re: Play Date Issues.

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I don't know. I always feel like such a freak saying that. I am worried about the awkward silence or the oh weirdo...run reaction. lol I normally don't disclose it to anyone and I took quite a few minutes thinking about it before I posted it here too but I know you are all understanding so I figured I might as well disclose where these feelings were coming from. Also, because dh was making me feel like it is weird to feel that way and it is only because I was abused. I am happy to hear I'm not the only mom though that does things this way. I will think about it though, maybe if I can think of a tactful way to say it without saying it, you know?
Right after I posted that, I realised it was probably very insensitive, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to suggest that your concerns about play dates weren't valid.
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Old 02-07-2013, 08:15 PM   #17
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Re: Play Date Issues.

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Right after I posted that, I realised it was probably very insensitive, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to suggest that your concerns about play dates weren't valid.
I didn't take it that way at all! I was just gripping about dh making me concerned I'm being too crazy. lol Thank you for your advice because it was a good suggestion.
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Old 02-07-2013, 08:17 PM   #18
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Re: Play Date Issues.

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If you're in the metro there are TONS of things to do in doors. I would just email the mom and say you're new to the area and haven't settled in yet, but once you do you'd like to get to know the boy and her (the mom) better and could schedule a few play dates at an indoor place. While I can totally understand your hesitation, your child does also need to make friends, and there is middle ground, having playdates with you there.
Yea I definitely will do it this way I think. He does need friends, I just feel so bad for the time being I am too busy to help him nurture those relationships outside of school. Once the baby gets here or it warms up I can strap her on me and go so much easier. My mil was telling me about these indoor playgrounds here that aren't much money and I think she was saying they are in community centers so I'm going to ask if they have a membership to one or one she prefers so we can meet up.
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Old 02-07-2013, 08:24 PM   #19
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Re: Play Date Issues.

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Originally Posted by Ms.Kaun View Post
Yea I definitely will do it this way I think. He does need friends, I just feel so bad for the time being I am too busy to help him nurture those relationships outside of school. Once the baby gets here or it warms up I can strap her on me and go so much easier. My mil was telling me about these indoor playgrounds here that aren't much money and I think she was saying they are in community centers so I'm going to ask if they have a membership to one or one she prefers so we can meet up.
I hear ya. I'm 38 weeks and keep saying "well when baby gets here we'll be able to get out more", well not right away of course, but middle March should be better weather.
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Old 02-07-2013, 10:59 PM   #20
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Re: Play Date Issues.

You could just say "We've had a bad experience with a drop-off playdate before." Not too personal and hopefully wouldn't offend her. My dd is younger still, but I doubt I will be comfortable leaving her alone with someone for a very long time. It's not just you
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