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Old 02-10-2013, 02:10 PM   #21
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Do you use a noise machine, night light, etc? We coslept for about 7 months. Then dd got mobile and decided our bed was for playing instead of sleeping. It was a hard few months and I had to try all sorts of tricks. One night I accidentally left the tv on in her room and she slept amazingly well. (Don't bother throwing flames at me for having a tv in her room. I could really care less). So for us, the issue wasn't really wanting mommy like I initially felt. It was waking up in a darkish room. So, if you don't want to try a tv maybe a pretty bright light and noise machine would help.

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Old 02-10-2013, 07:15 PM   #22
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Re: He wants to be in our bed. period.

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Do you use a noise machine, night light, etc? We coslept for about 7 months. Then dd got mobile and decided our bed was for playing instead of sleeping. It was a hard few months and I had to try all sorts of tricks. One night I accidentally left the tv on in her room and she slept amazingly well. (Don't bother throwing flames at me for having a tv in her room. I could really care less). So for us, the issue wasn't really wanting mommy like I initially felt. It was waking up in a darkish room. So, if you don't want to try a tv maybe a pretty bright light and noise machine would help.
We've tried nightlights, twilight turtle, and music. We always do white noise. It generally all works fine for getting him to sleep, some nights are fine, some are not. But he won't stay asleep with any of it. He wakes in the middle of the night just as upset.
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Old 02-10-2013, 08:27 PM   #23
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Re: He wants to be in our bed. period.

No real help either...you hit the nail on the head when you said it's a phase. I also got tired (literally) of cosleeping and neither one of my sons would sleep in a crib until we stopped night nursing (about 15 mos). Hang in there mama! Don't kill me for saying this but one day you may miss those nighttime snuggles.
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Old 02-10-2013, 09:26 PM   #24
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No real help either...you hit the nail on the head when you said it's a phase. I also got tired (literally) of cosleeping and neither one of my sons would sleep in a crib until we stopped night nursing (about 15 mos). Hang in there mama! Don't kill me for saying this but one day you may miss those nighttime snuggles.
I still love the night snuggling. But hubby is really not on board anymore, and I'm frustrated being tied to our bed from 8pm on. I want to put the mattress on the floor so I feel better leaving the room when babe falls asleep in our bed, but hubby would have a conniption fit.

Not sure what to do.
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Old 02-11-2013, 02:20 AM   #25
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Hubby says he will not cosleep for as long as I intend to. Once he really "puts his foot down" he will see just how miserable forcing her into her own bed before she is ready will be.

I imagine him giving in quickly because I will not be the only one waking every 1-3 hours to soothe her. We don't do cry it out.

Its a different story when shes a little older and will get her big girl bed probably right next to our bed.

Maybe get him to help and give ideas as to how to make it work? Once he is really a part of it he may realize how suddenly easy and great cosleeping is. No tears and lots of sleep for all. Or atleast more than you'd get waking up often to soothe baby.
This really is such a short time of him sleeping with you. Think of all the years you will have to have your grown up time alone in bed.

Maybe wait til he's just a bit older make a big deal of his big boy bed and hopefully he'll want to sleep in it. This is our plan definitely not saying its a sure thing but its worked for a few family members and friends so we will see.

He doesn't want to be alone in the dark. No warm body to snuggle against. Can you blame him?

**Sorry this post is way for co sleeping but anything else really involves cry it out. If that's the route you want to go ive heard after 3 days of consistency things improve drastically.

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Old 02-11-2013, 02:29 AM   #26
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Not sure if he is the same but DD needs help going back to sleep for several sleep cycles. Then she is out for the night until 6 where she will wake to nurse and then back to sleep.
Not sure where I was going with that haha but maybe figure out if he has a pattern like that to where he will sleep for a long period so you can then sneak away.

Ive also seen warm bean bags you can snuggle next to baby so they think your still there.
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Old 02-11-2013, 03:07 PM   #27
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Not sure if this has been suggested but this is what we did. Both my girls hated the crib. So for dd1 we put a big bed in her room and I would lay with her until she fell asleep then quietly escape. She's two now and still doesn't sttn but with spend the better portion of the night in her own bed. Good luck, I know its hard.
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Old 02-11-2013, 05:01 PM   #28
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Re: He wants to be in our bed. period.

My son would not sleep in his crib but by a year was cuddling until ready to sleep, then moving to his own space in our bed to actually sleep. Seemed ready to be in his own bed but HATED his crib. We got him a bunk bed from Ikea (he picked it) where the bottom "bunk" is a mattress on the floor. We didn't put the rungs in the ladder, so he couldn't climb it. We baby proofed his room and started putting him to bed there. That way, we could lay with him to soothe him and still leave him once he was asleep

We also did lots of talking about it. Like Mommy is going to cuddle with you but then I'm going downstairs, so if you wake up and need me, call me and I'll come. But you don't need me to sleep in your bed! You can sleep here by yourself and have all the space.

We started with laying with him until he slept, then moved to cuddling while sitting until he was almost out and then laying him down. Took about a month to get him to go to bed awake and self-soothe.

Worth a shot, maybe? It seems early to most people for a bed but as long as he can't hurt himself in his room (furniture secured to walls, limited and safe toys, etc), it may work for you like it did for us.
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Old 02-11-2013, 09:03 PM   #29
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Re: He wants to be in our bed. period.

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My son would not sleep in his crib but by a year was cuddling until ready to sleep, then moving to his own space in our bed to actually sleep. Seemed ready to be in his own bed but HATED his crib. We got him a bunk bed from Ikea (he picked it) where the bottom "bunk" is a mattress on the floor. We didn't put the rungs in the ladder, so he couldn't climb it. We baby proofed his room and started putting him to bed there. That way, we could lay with him to soothe him and still leave him once he was asleep

We also did lots of talking about it. Like Mommy is going to cuddle with you but then I'm going downstairs, so if you wake up and need me, call me and I'll come. But you don't need me to sleep in your bed! You can sleep here by yourself and have all the space.

We started with laying with him until he slept, then moved to cuddling while sitting until he was almost out and then laying him down. Took about a month to get him to go to bed awake and self-soothe.

Worth a shot, maybe? It seems early to most people for a bed but as long as he can't hurt himself in his room (furniture secured to walls, limited and safe toys, etc), it may work for you like it did for us.
I do think it will be much easier when he is older and we can explain things to him. At 13 months we can't explain much except "Go take a bath" and "Give Tilly her bone back."

BUT hubby was home alone tonight to do the bedtime routine, and when I came home babe was in the bed. Hubby agreed that it wasn't worth the bedtime fight. He just feels like he's losing all his space (no office, no bedroom, etc). So I offered to turn babe's room into his office since we plan on moving in 6 months anyway. He's thinking about it. Progress!
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Old 02-11-2013, 09:22 PM   #30
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Re: He wants to be in our bed. period.

I feel your pain. My lo is 12 1/2 months and we are going through the same battle. Sorry I can't offer any words of wisdom here
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