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Old 02-13-2013, 09:23 AM   #1
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Sleepovers ?

I curious when/if you'll allow your kids to do sleepovers?

Dd1 -8 - was asked to a sleepever recently but she's totally not ready (she still struggles to go spend the night at Grandma's house). But some of the other parents were shocked that my reason for saying no was I had never met the girl or her family and I wasn't going to let my 8yr spend the night with a stranger (more or less). I'm sure the family is very nice but I'd still like yo know the family a little bit before sending my kid over. I didn't even know where thet live - the mom was going to pick them up from school and bring them home tthe next day. I just found it odd but very few people held my opinion.

Then last week dd2 (5 and in preschool with mostly 4yr olds) was invited to a sleepover. Preschool seems way to young to entertain the notion of a sleepover. Of course even dd2 held that opinion and didn't even want to go.

I hate having to figure out this sleepover thing. For now I've opted to tell the kids no sleepovers until you're older but at some point in time I'm going to have to decide when to allow them.

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Old 02-13-2013, 09:29 AM   #2
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DD does but only with grandma or my BFF. We haven't ha school friends ask. I had sleepovers all the time as a kid so I imagine I'll let her, but only after I've met parents and seen the house and such

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Old 02-13-2013, 09:35 AM   #3
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Re: Sleepovers ?

I'm not super comfortable with them, but my parents always let me go to them so I'll do the same. I'd make up an excuse like she has to come home first, but I'll drop her off later, and then have a chat with the parents, leave my phone number etc.
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Old 02-13-2013, 09:38 AM   #4
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No way would I allow one of the kids to go over to a complete strangers house...and a house that I didnt even know its location on top of that! Thats just asking for trouble.

My girls have spent the night with 1 friend and it didnt go well. They get incredibly homesick staying with my mom who they see all.the.time. I imagine it will be a while before they stay at any other friends houses.
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Old 02-13-2013, 09:44 AM   #5
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Re: Sleepovers ?

Never ever will they stay at someone's house that I don't KNOW. Not just know OF, but actually KNOW myself. Know their habits, their family, etc. That will never happen.

My DD is 6 y/o and stayed the night with one of my good friends, who is like, 21. They painted toe nails, colored, watched movies, and played with Barbies. She had a blast and cried when I came to get her. lol. She's very social and independent.

My kids can stay overnight at my family/friend's homes occasionally when they are old enough to talk to me about it and want to.

But I am very cautious with who I let into our lives. We don't have any friends who are into things I wouldn't allow around my kids. KWIM?
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Old 02-13-2013, 09:49 AM   #6
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Re: Sleepovers ?

I think seven or eight is a good age to start. But, if your child isn't ready, she isn't ready. She can go to the party, and leave at 9:30.

I don't worry about "I haven't met the parents" because if it's a large sleepover, the chances of anything happening are slim. The few times there was a big problem with sleepovers were the parents I HAD met, and knew very well.

One time, at a 10 yr old sleepover, they invited a 15 yr old to sleepover. She told them in GREAT detail about sex, then broke into the liquor cabinet and drank shots in front of the girls, and kept them awake most of the night.

Another time, the mom's boyfriend slept over too. WTH? Who does that? He knew nothing about kids, or about 11 yr old girls and was obnoxious in front of them. He broke the 100 gallon fish tank and cussed for the rest of the night while trying to blame the girls.
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Old 02-13-2013, 10:01 AM   #7
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Re: Sleepovers ?

Quote:
Originally Posted by escapethevillage View Post
I think seven or eight is a good age to start. But, if your child isn't ready, she isn't ready. She can go to the party, and leave at 9:30.

I don't worry about "I haven't met the parents" because if it's a large sleepover, the chances of anything happening are slim. The few times there was a big problem with sleepovers were the parents I HAD met, and knew very well.

One time, at a 10 yr old sleepover, they invited a 15 yr old to sleepover. She told them in GREAT detail about sex, then broke into the liquor cabinet and drank shots in front of the girls, and kept them awake most of the night.

Another time, the mom's boyfriend slept over too. WTH? Who does that? He knew nothing about kids, or about 11 yr old girls and was obnoxious in front of them. He broke the 100 gallon fish tank and cussed for the rest of the night while trying to blame the girls.
Oh WOW. Craziness!

I thought we were talking about small sleepovers, like 1-3 people total.

A huge sleepover? Much, much older than my ODD is now. Like, 10 maybe. Maybe.

Also agree that with tons of girls, knowing the parents won't matter much if you don't know every girl that was invited and her family.
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Old 02-13-2013, 10:25 AM   #8
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Re: Sleepovers ?

My kids have had sleep overs at Grandparents house since they were babies.

Friends sleep over it will depend on the friend. Right now I would be fine with DS1 (6) spending the night at his one good friends house as I am friends and work with the mom.

Random school friends he needs to be a lot older and I will need to see the house/meet the parents first
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Old 02-13-2013, 10:37 AM   #9
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Re: Sleepovers ?

I guess maybe I am odd, but there is no way I'd let my kids sleep over at someone's house if I didn't know them really well. We are homeschoolers though so I know all my kids' friends quite well and am friends with the parents. My dd is almost 9 and just went to her first official sleepover in December for her friend's birthday party. Actually one of the 3 kids that slept over (including my dd) was a boy the same age. I suppose it sounds odd that I'm not okay with my dd sleeping over with a bunch of girls at an almost stranger's house, but I'm totally okay with a boy that we know well being at one LOL. These are kids she has known since they were all babies and they have grown up together.

As for family sleepovers, my 4yo and 6yo boys have slept over at my mom's house a few times. The last time they were there though they didn't want to come home and ended up staying for 4 days.
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Old 02-13-2013, 11:01 AM   #10
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I also don't know when I will allow my boys to do sleepovers with friends. I think it depends how well I know the parents. DS1, who is 3, has spent the night at my moms a couple times. DS2, who is 20 months, hasn't at all. i would feel comfortable with them doing sleepovers with family. DS1 has been begging for his cousins to come over for sleepover. I just don't know how careful other parents are about watching their kids and what they allow them to do. I don't let them watch a lot of tv, and the shows they watch have no violence or bad words. I wouldn't want them picking up curse words from someone else's parents. I like having them home sleeping in their own beds so that I know they are safe and protected.
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