February/March Chat Thread

[mmbreb]

Originally Posted by Mama2ManyBoyz I'm struggling lately with how much to tell caseworkers/therapists and then when I do not coming off as though I think bio's are the devil and the kids have zero attachment to them. Does anyone kwim? Recently I told the caseworker some things that I had been keeping to myself, because I felt like if I told her she would think I was out to get bios and just wanting to keep dfd. But due to problems she was having I came out with it anyway. I felt like caseworker was like "holy crap, I had no idea, why haven't I heard this before" but didn't say that, just got the vibe. Then afterwards I felt guilty like I made it sound like dfd has no love for bios. OMG I could drive myself bonkers worrying about all this. Does anyone have any idea what I'm talking about and how do you deal???????

I always feel this way but I really don't have any advice...... I felt this way the most with the kids advocate!!! She made it seem like everything I said was unimportant. I thought she would be the one to tell things to but actually the mental health specialist is the one who listens the most. She actually cares about what goes on more than anyone else. I dont feel like she is just appeasing me but actually listening and working to make things better.

AFM: Well we have again gone back on what we said! Do you sense a theme here?? First we said we wouldn't do foster care just adoption. Now we are in the middle of fostering. Than we said we would only do one and did two. That didn't work out and we said DEFINITELY one at a time..... Now we just said yes to a little girl with special needs.

Once we had a little time removed from X-man I realized how much I wasn't crazy and it really was his behaviors that made it so hard. It was far from the norm and I now have so many more answers about why everything happened the way it did.

We got the call for a little girl a few days ago and we took some time to think about it. She has a trach and ventilator. She will possibly need a feeding tube. She was 4 months premature which is the cause of her problems. It looks like she is going to be permanent though. They are not holding out any hope for RU at this time. I am not sure if that may change as I don't have many details yet. We still feel a little apprehensive but I think we will feel better/ more sure about things when we get to talk to the doctors and visit her. Hopefully that will happen next week. I would like to know a lot more about her long term prognosis.