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Old 02-17-2013, 03:58 PM   #1
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Separation anxiety?

My son just turned 2. This is an ongoing problem but here the latest fiasco. We needed to get the baby down for a nap so we decided to put the older two boys in their room to play. We have to shut the door if we want them to stay in there since they can take down every single baby gate we own (grrrr). But my younger son just flipped out. Like screaming, crying, kept signing sorry...I don't know if its separation anxiety or something else. We're literally one room away. They're just very noisy and the baby NEEDED a nap. Any ideas?

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Old 02-17-2013, 04:41 PM   #2
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Re: Separation anxiety?

I don't think it's separation anxiety, as much as just being closed in a room. I think his issues are valid, and probably most young two year olds would react the same way.

I, honestly would try a new tactic to get the baby down for a nap, instead of closing the boy's door.

Maybe try to get them to rest on the couch and watch tv while the baby falls asleep, or try to get the baby used to sleeping through the noise. Or, teach the boys to stop taking down the gates. "this means stop". A young two yr old might have a hard time understanding that but the older brother certainly understands that.

This is going to sound like I am being snarky, but I PROMISE I am not....

I have been putting infants down for a nap for over 30 years, and I have never once had a baby that I wasn't able to put down awake. I wait til I know it's time for them to rest (not just when I feel like it should be) and I put them down while they are awake. I have had at least 75 infants in my care over the years, and all of them went to bed awake. NO crying. If they cry, I get them, and try again later.

It can be done, but it's hard if you expect them to be hard to put down.

And, yes, most of these parents have said "He has to be rocked/fed/carried...etc to fall asleep" Or "He's not a good sleeper" or "She can't go to sleep on her own". It's not that I don't hear them crying, they just don't cry.
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Old 02-17-2013, 06:21 PM   #3
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My son was the same way for a bit around 2. Closing doors really upset him.
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Old 02-17-2013, 06:53 PM   #4
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We actually did something like this today, i had to run downstairs and couldn't carry my 22 month old down so i closed the door to his room. I told him 'be right back!' Which is what i tell him when i have to leave the room and said 'closing the door!' All happy like. It was for 60 seconds but he still got a little scared (i've never closed him in a room before ever). When i went back we played with the door a bit, giving him control to open and close the door and i pretended to leave and come back etc. then i had to go down again so when he had sat down with his toys i said again be right back! Etc and he was fine this time. He only tried to open the door but didn't cry.

I'd just reassure him a lot and play with the door beig open and shut so he understands what's going on? My DS is super attached to me too, it took him 4 weeks to stop crying all day at daycare for me. Now he only cries 1/4 of the day
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Old 02-17-2013, 07:37 PM   #5
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It has to be a door thing. While my daddy and the oldest were doing the potty routine tonight he was getting into everything. So daddy out him in the living room with me and shut the bathroom door. Screamed bloody murder. Sigh. I now he's 2 and its a phase but holy crap his behavior leaves SO much to be desired!
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Old 02-18-2013, 05:47 AM   #6
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No one could close any door in my hour for a couple months when my son was in this phase without him screaming. It was pretty short lived, thankfully.
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Old 02-18-2013, 08:57 AM   #7
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I seriously hope this is short lived! Doesn't help that he doesn't really talk yet.
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Old 02-18-2013, 08:58 PM   #8
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Re: Separation anxiety?

yeah ummmm a 2 year old is not going to like a shut door. you shut a door and you might as well hang a huge neon sign directing them to freak out and think of nothing but a way to get that door open. I would rather teach a kid to stay put on the couch and watch a cartoon while baby gets put down. but I also agree with escape. I also do daycare and the nap routine for babies is 5 minutes or less each baby. I put them on a routine, change diaper, quick snuggle, tuck them in and thats it. no rocking/walking/bouncing/feeding to bed.....for any kid in 5 years of daycare. same routine with my own four kids (who I breastfed! and co sleep with at night!). I would focus on cutting that nap time routine down and teaching the other to stay put for a few minutes while mom is busy
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Old 02-19-2013, 10:46 AM   #9
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For the record, not directing this to anyone in particulAr, the baby doesn't have an issue sleeping. This issue was only because the boys were literally running in circles aroun her bouncer and shrieking. She's actually the best sleeper and can usually sleep though their noise. This was just the end to a very bad day. And he's been in closed rooms before. That's why this came like out of the blue.
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