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Old 02-16-2013, 07:42 PM   #21
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Well, I look at it like this: I was the first of my siblings to ever bf for any length of time. I was the first to have natural births (and home birth). I was the first to co-sleep, and to home school.

Since I nursed my kiddos I have helped and encouraged all of my nieces with nursing their babies. So my nursing my four (and being a LLL leader didn't hurt) led to my 4 nieces nursing a total of 14 children. They have in turn helped and encouraged their friends.

My dd is tandem nursing her two, and has encouraged several of her friends. My oldest dd is pg and planning to bf (of course, her dh nurses until he was 3 so she'll have very supportive in-laws).

Long story short (okay, it's actually been kinda long), you CAN make a difference. Your actions can influence people in a good way! Stick to your guns!!

Stacey, from iPhone using DS app

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Old 02-16-2013, 07:56 PM   #22
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Re: What to do when your family thinks you're nuts...

Best advice I've got:
- make sure you choose your battles wisely and aren't just picking fights or bringing things up unnecessarily because *you* feel like you have to address it or have something to prove.
- set boundaries of what you will and won't talk about and stick to it. If there's something up for discussion (for example if you're willing to nurse with a cover on but prefer not to, that's one thing. But if you're never going to consider using formula and they keep pressing you about it, set the boundary "mom I'm not going to discuss this anymore. Please stop bringing it up or I'm just going to have to go home."
- keep your mouth shut as much as possible and let time prove out your choices. Cause it will. Time will either prove to everyone (wheher they admit it or not) that your choices have borne good fruit and not affected them near as much as they thoight it would or perhaps you'll see that some things you felt strongly about in the beginning don't matter so much to you anymore.

No matter the outcome, you'll never regret giving as much grace as possible, letting your choices speak for themselves, letting time bear out the fruit, and preserving family relationships as much as you are able. The passing of time really does make a lot of difference in how people see you and treat you as a parent. Hang in there and enjoy these sweet days.
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Old 02-16-2013, 08:55 PM   #23
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This is a sore subject for me right now. My mom just came for her first visit since I started full time CD. I was so excited to show her everything and the "modern" CDs, because she used cloth on me when I was a baby. To my shock, she was totally dismissive about it and went on and on about how I am "obsessed with diapers" because I was so excited to show her my stuff. It was very hurtful. She even used sposies the one day she watched DS. I have no idea how MIL will react...they live in another state and visit rarely. We shall see.
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Old 02-17-2013, 04:35 PM   #24
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Re: What to do when your family thinks you're nuts...

I'm pretty sure both my family and in laws find our choices odd but doing things oddly is not new for me so I think they raise their eye brows but don't say much.
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Old 02-18-2013, 06:46 AM   #25
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Re: What to do when your family thinks you're nuts...

I"ve always been a fan of saying "our pediatrician says...." that way it is a doctor's opinion. tends to shut people up. besides if they want to do it differently with their own kids that's their business.
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Old 02-18-2013, 12:29 PM   #26
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Originally Posted by MakingHome
Best advice I've got:
- make sure you choose your battles wisely and aren't just picking fights or bringing things up unnecessarily because *you* feel like you have to address it or have something to prove.
- set boundaries of what you will and won't talk about and stick to it. If there's something up for discussion (for example if you're willing to nurse with a cover on but prefer not to, that's one thing. But if you're never going to consider using formula and they keep pressing you about it, set the boundary "mom I'm not going to discuss this anymore. Please stop bringing it up or I'm just going to have to go home."
- keep your mouth shut as much as possible and let time prove out your choices. Cause it will. Time will either prove to everyone (wheher they admit it or not) that your choices have borne good fruit and not affected them near as much as they thoight it would or perhaps you'll see that some things you felt strongly about in the beginning don't matter so much to you anymore.

No matter the outcome, you'll never regret giving as much grace as possible, letting your choices speak for themselves, letting time bear out the fruit, and preserving family relationships as much as you are able. The passing of time really does make a lot of difference in how people see you and treat you as a parent. Hang in there and enjoy these sweet days.
This is excellent advice. In a world where negativity is rampant, people look for offense and tend to not temper their tongues, its nice to see someone who can turn the other cheek on things that don't really matter in the long run.
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Old 02-18-2013, 02:19 PM   #27
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Re: What to do when your family thinks you're nuts...

yeah..I've had some comments..mostly from my MIL..but..there's issues there anyways. I just ignore her.

If it helps..I'm a student nurse about to graduate..so basically a nurse..and I know PLENTY of nurses that support baby wearing and breast feeding for at least a year. I think it's just our parents generation (maybe?) being a little stuck on "formula is the norm" mentality.

anyways..I'm basically a nurse..and I breastfed for a year..I CD..and we coslept for a while people have their own opinions that sometimes they need to keep to themselves lol.
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Old 02-19-2013, 05:15 AM   #28
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Re: What to do when your family thinks you're nuts...

Yes, we use liners too! She seems to be intruding a bit!
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Old 02-19-2013, 01:39 PM   #29
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Re: What to do when your family thinks you're nuts...

You are not alone. Stand your ground. And like another momma said educate them.
I have come to terms with the fact that not everyone is going to agree with my parenting. They are my kids and I am doing my best for them to keep them healthy and safe and if they don't like it it's on them. Let them waste their time griping about what you are doing....don't waste yours worrying about it.
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Old 02-26-2013, 04:09 PM   #30
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Re: What to do when your family thinks you're nuts...

For baby wearing I get told I am hogging my baby. Um MY baby.
For breastfeeding. What I do with my boobs is none of your business! I keep having to tell DH this as his mother always asks and then has facebook statuses and chats about how BF for more than 3 months (1 week preferable) is nasty.
Co-sleeping. Unless you are in my bed it isnt you business either. And I will tell you unless your in my bed I dont care about your opinion.
And for CD. I just quote some stuff and then politely tell them to eff off!

That basically goes for my mother and MIL. Everyone else I am nice too. If you are being rude and I dont know you, you better hope I am having a good day. But that has never happened. My MIL hates me though. (I mean really she tried to break up my marriage and we have been together for 9 years!) And my mother recently told me she hopes we have a 4th boy (no girls here!) because I will baby the girl and be a WITCH (yes she said witch) to my boys. Lovely women they are!

I would love to say 'Now that you have criticized my parenting it is my turn to criticize yours!'
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