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Old 11-30-2012, 01:05 PM   #41
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Re: The Best of Both Worlds: At Peace with Formula Feeding

I had the same situation with DD and I really beat myself up over it. You are feeding your baby to the best of your ability! That's what matters. You are doing what you can to provide the best nourishment possible. She's lucky to have you for a mom

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Old 12-07-2012, 10:25 PM   #42
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Re: The Best of Both Worlds: At Peace with Formula Feeding

It's been really reassuring to read all of these posts. I entirely planned to breast feed exclusively and let my baby decide when to wean, and he never wanted to nurse from the start. I got a bad guilt trip about it at the hospital, and not very good help from the LC there. I kept trying to breast feed, and then kept trying to pump, though I usually only get an ounce at a time. I've tried supplements and domperidone but I can't get enough from pumping to make it work and fighting to get him to nurse seems to be more for my benefit than his. I am trying to let it go and be glad he's healthy and growing, but it's really hard.
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Old 12-14-2012, 01:01 PM   #43
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Re: The Best of Both Worlds: At Peace with Formula Feeding

We are in the same boat. I feel guilty trying to pressure my wife in breastfeeding as much as possible. Whenever I see the pain on her face when he doesn't fully latch on just hurts me since my son can't get his milk right away. We now just pump and formula feed and so far everybody is a happy camper!
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Old 01-20-2013, 01:29 AM   #44
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Re: The Best of Both Worlds: At Peace with Formula Feeding

I nursed all my other children but my youngest 5 month old (born early). Due to heart meds I can not nurse. BTY the lactation couselor in the hospital tried telling me I could. The doctors said "NO" and gave her an ear full when they found out and read what she gave me. The drug manufacturers had warnings about breast feeding. Even with the medical condition, some people in the hospital & public imply how bad formula is. Well, my growing healthy baby girl is proof formula does not make you a bad parent. Luckly, I still use cloth diapers so I am only half a bad mom....lol.
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Old 01-22-2013, 08:39 AM   #45
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Re: The Best of Both Worlds: At Peace with Formula Feeding

I'm having the embrace the idea of being a FF now. I have 2 biological dd's that I nursed until they were 2. I pumped for over a year before our son was born (he's adopted) and took all kinds of herbs and meds to be able to nurse him. It worked and for 6 months he got nothing but breastmilk. He's now been diagnosed with all kinds of allergies, reflux, and FTT because of those so he has to be on hypo-allergenic formula. He's growing and thriving on it, but it's so hard to let go of nursing especially given how hard I fought to make it happen.
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Old 02-14-2013, 01:19 PM   #46
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Re: The Best of Both Worlds: At Peace with Formula Feeding

So glad to find this thread and know that I'm not alone!

My daughter is a micropreemie and was unable to eat by mouth for almost three months. When she did eat by mouth it was slow, painful going. When she was four months old they diagnosed reflux and aspiration, so she had to go on thickened formula - it has done wonders for her, she got to lose the ng tube, didn't have to have g-tube surgery and got to come home from the hospital. I am still pumping around the clock, but after five months I'm pretty sure that she is never going to EBF. We have had ONE successful nursing episode in all this time.

It helps to know that she did get breast milk (fortified with protein and formula) through the ng tube for 4.5 months, and I was able to donate some milk when the freezer filled up. I would have liked to EBF but that wasn't what was best for her - and the day that it's not best for her for me to keep pumping is the day I toss out the pump.

Hugs to all the mamas for doing right by our babies - WHATEVER that means for us!
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Old 02-19-2013, 02:17 PM   #47
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Re: The Best of Both Worlds: At Peace with Formula Feeding

I went through a similar situation. Went through many different emotions and shed many tears.....all while knowing I was doing the very best I could for both of my children. It took alot for me to overcome this overwhelming feeling of failure but with the support of others and the kids' pediatrician I did and while it still makes me sad at times I know I did the best I could and my kids will not suffer because they have had formula.
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Old 02-19-2013, 08:55 PM   #48
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Originally Posted by momma@2
I went through a similar situation. Went through many different emotions and shed many tears.....all while knowing I was doing the very best I could for both of my children. It took alot for me to overcome this overwhelming feeling of failure but with the support of others and the kids' pediatrician I did and while it still makes me sad at times I know I did the best I could and my kids will not suffer because they have had formula.
Hugs! It's so hard and so easy to feel alone.

Now instead of saying I "quit" BFing, I say that formula saved my daughter's life. She's bright, rarely sick and right on track or ahead in every way. She gives me big dopey smiles and holds no resentment and her opinion is the one I value the most!
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Old 02-20-2013, 06:49 AM   #49
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Re: The Best of Both Worlds: At Peace with Formula Feeding

I have BF and used formula for all my kids. You know what--the one that got the most formula is very smart and way ahead in school, one of the tallest kids in his class, and skinny as a rail.

Formula kept my premie out of the hospital when his jaundice was so high.

I took me a while but the only "right" way of parenting is the one that is "right" for your family. Not what a bunch of other (espeically high and mighty internet mom's) think is right. I proudly say we (becuase DH is just as much a parent as I am) BF and Formula feed, do not co sleep, use strollers, vax, ect, ect ,ect.
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Old 03-01-2013, 08:12 AM   #50
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Re: The Best of Both Worlds: At Peace with Formula Feeding

It is nice to know you're not alone. My family never thought it was a big deal to BF, yet I am the only mom out of my group of mama-friends who uses formula. Amazing how times have changed...

I was diagnosed with IGT before DD was born. Two midwives and the LC at the birthing center I warned me I may have supply problems (I have small and obviously hypoplastic breasts). I never really had breast changes during pregnancy, but at 35wks I started leaking colostrum and convinced myself I wouldn't have issues because lots of colostrum == lots of milk, right? Other women with IGT have successfully EBF their babies.... right?

I never made enough milk for her, ever. First we tried an SNS and I HATED it and threw it out after three weeks. Then it was nurse-bottle-pump, but I could never pump or express much milk, maybe 1oz every two hours if I was lucky. No amount of herbs or supplements seemed to change this (you name it, I've probably tried it). I began to dread nursing her, then I developed PPD and PPOCD and nursing her became triggering.

It wasn't until I started counseling and meds for the PPD that I started to realize DD didn't care how she was fed. She needed a sane mommy more than anything! I ditched the pumping and just nursed before each feed which was a lot less triggering, and there were actually times I fully enjoyed it. I began to accept that this was the best I could do, though it still hurt when people would ask if I was breastfeeding (yeah, to lightly supplement her formula!)

At 4.5 months old, DD refused to latch for feeds and I took that as a sign to stop altogether. DD is nearly 11 months now and I think I'm finally reaching the point of being at totally at peace with EFF. She is thriving on formula and I regret putting so much energy into something she won't even remember or care about when she's older.
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