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Old 02-21-2013, 04:48 PM   #11
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I'm 37w2d preggo with our second surprise baby. (charting does not work for us, and then our BC method failed)

With the first one, I was SO EXCITED b/c I wanted another baby really badly. DH took a few months to come around.

With this one, I was mortified. I cried when I told DH. And he was OVER THE MOON! And I took a few months to come around.

LOL. Different reactions from us both at different times.

And now we are ready to start cutting and burning to make sure this stops happening. We love love LOVE our kids, but we are looking forward to moving on to the next stage of life now.

And, TBH, I really think it could not have worked out better for us. We will have 2 boys and 2 girls! Girls are 4 yrs apart, and so are the boys. It's perfect for my stupid number-OCD mind.

Surprises are fun, after the initial shocks wears off. And don't feel guilty for having mixed emotions, it's just part of it, and you will still be a wonderful mommy.
Did you have issues your first surprise with hubby wanting you to terminate? I went over just now to see hubby, he is working in his shed, and he gave me every possible reason we can't have a baby... then told me I was being selfish and taking away from the two we have. He is really pressuring me to abort saying (and I quote) "we only have a certain amount of time to go get this done". I'm so conflicted with how I feel - I really don't want to be pressured and pushed into doing something I am very adamantly against. I'm devastated at the moment :-(

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Old 02-21-2013, 04:59 PM   #12
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Did you have issues your first surprise with hubby wanting you to terminate? I went over just now to see hubby, he is working in his shed, and he gave me every possible reason we can't have a baby... then told me I was being selfish and taking away from the two we have. He is really pressuring me to abort saying (and I quote) "we only have a certain amount of time to go get this done". I'm so conflicted with how I feel - I really don't want to be pressured and pushed into doing something I am very adamantly against. I'm devastated at the moment :-(
Don't let him convince you to do something that I'm guessing you'll regret for the rest of your life... We just had #3 (surprise baby) last week and just seeing him makes me realize that things will work out. Luckily my husband never suggested termination as he knows I'm more likely to terminate him than a baby. Please take care of yourself mama!
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Old 02-21-2013, 05:18 PM   #13
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Re: expired test?

The good thing about babies is they are so small they don't really take up much room at all. Don't let him pressure you into doing something you don't want to do. He is partially responsible for this little life growing as well. Give him time and space. Tell him how you feel and leave it at that. He will come around. Remember babies are a blessing.
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Old 02-21-2013, 06:25 PM   #14
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Re: expired test?

I bet he'll come around and be happy about baby once the shock wears off.
And it'll all work out. Space will somehow be found for baby (trust me, I worry about this a lot, figuring out different ways to work things with no room for Hiccup right now!), and babies don't need much.

Most importantly, you are most definitely not taking anything away from your 2 girls - you're giving them a baby brother or sister!
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Old 02-21-2013, 06:35 PM   #15
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I am so tired of crying - I feel each time hubby and I get together it is a boxing match. He SAYS he will support me no matter what decision I make, but that he will "be right" and let me know when the time comes that "he told me so".

Just now he sent me a text saying that he loves me and will support me no matter what I decide. I just believe he will support me if I decide to abort like he wants, and he will stand there and remind me at every bump if I don't.

He says that this "bump in the road" will make us stronger and it is something we can put behind us. I just don't think this 'bump' is going to make us stronger. I think it will actually do the opposite. I'm so upset.
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Old 02-21-2013, 07:59 PM   #16
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Re: expired test?

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Originally Posted by Mommy2TwoGirls View Post
Did you have issues your first surprise with hubby wanting you to terminate? I went over just now to see hubby, he is working in his shed, and he gave me every possible reason we can't have a baby... then told me I was being selfish and taking away from the two we have. He is really pressuring me to abort saying (and I quote) "we only have a certain amount of time to go get this done". I'm so conflicted with how I feel - I really don't want to be pressured and pushed into doing something I am very adamantly against. I'm devastated at the moment :-(
No, we are both extremely opposed to abortion aside from very, very rare and uncontrollable circumstances.

I am so sorry you are facing such a terrible, difficult situation.
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Old 02-21-2013, 08:11 PM   #17
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No, we are both extremely opposed to abortion aside from very, very rare and uncontrollable circumstances.

I am so sorry you are facing such a terrible, difficult situation.
He says right now "it" isn't real except for two little lines. It is all in my head and I've only even known "it" has existed for a few hours - no way to already be attached.

I'm emotionally drained at the moment. I don't think I can cry any more. Maybe he is right - but if I do this, I don't think I want to stay with him. How can he honestly pressure me into this but then say he is for whatever I want and he is 'here' for me... then immediately say he he will be with me there before and after - we can do this together. Obviously he could care less that I am opposed to it.
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Old 02-21-2013, 08:13 PM   #18
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mama. You need to do whatever you feel is right. I can't imagine terminating a pregnancy but I also can't imagine my DH ever wanting me to do so. I hope a few days will shed some clarity on the situation for him.

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Old 02-21-2013, 08:25 PM   #19
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Re: expired test?

I know I'm coming into the conversation late, but I just had to post, please don't let someone - anyone convince you to abort a baby. I am not one of "those people" who are the right to life, sign holding people - but I DO believe that you are growing a precious unique little person inside of you. A year or two from now if you have the baby, you won't be able to imagine your life without him/her.

And the space issue will work itself out. I have three children in a two bedroom apt currently. It's temporary and I will be glad for more room, but honestly just because the standard in North America calls for a room per child doesn't mean that we're neglectful of our children if we don't have that. Your children don't need money or a bigger house to thrive and grow, they need you and your love.

Jut my two cents worth ....I'm so sorry that your going through this! Our second was a complete surprise and I remember thinking about all the "reasons" that she didn't make sense. But now on the other side I can't imagine life without her.
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Old 02-21-2013, 08:28 PM   #20
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Re: expired test?

Oh mama ((Hugs)) I am so sorry your in this situation. I can't imagine my hubby forcing me to do something or at least making that a very strong stand point I can only imagine how you must be feeling right now. Give it some time. you are in no condition to be making decisions.
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